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Author Topic: Went on a Trip with an Asshole Client  (Read 2821 times)

jellib33

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Went on a Trip with an Asshole Client
« on: 02 December 2017, 06:24:04 am »
Hey ladies,

Okay so I know I am probably gonna get it for my complete stupidity on this one, but here it goes...

I have a client that has been seeing me once a week for about a year and a half now. In the beginning, we would occasionally go for lunch, drinks sometimes, etc. Since he's been seeing me so long the lines of course got kind of blurred and I knew we would never ever have an actual relationship but there were times I would let him just stay to hang out and we would just drink and chat, that would be for free. Or because he is actually really hard to cum but I still liked him as a person, it somehow became a thing where he would come over occasionally and "focus on me", and other times where I would "focus on him" were the times he would actually pay for.

A few weeks ago I went on a trip with him, and okay so somehow it ended up me paying for half of the airfare and him the other half, I had to use some of my own extra money for travel money and whatever, and this was actually all ok with me (I guess in my head all I really wanted was a vacation, it's been a while since I've been on one).

Anyway long story short, two of his friends were there for the entire trip (of course male), and let's just say that there were tons of occasions where it was very clear to me that I was perceived as some money hungry whore, was showered with subtle insults here and there, mostly didn't speak as I was the only female on the trip and they are all long time friends, and they had that rich male bonding asshole thing going on (as sterotypical as it is lol).

When I got back I though things were fine and it's whatever, I put it in perspective that yes I get it I'm a sex worker etc. a part of that is putting up with guy's shit. But like honestly, after that he booked me this week, cancelled morning of, don't know if he did that as some sort of power trip or for whatever reason because I decided even though I felt unwelcomed during the majority of the trip I was not going to be apologetic for my behavior. I had to travel back alone since he stayed longer and he knew that I was anxious for many reasons such as traveling alone back to Canada (which makes it so clear that I am as sheltered in every single way as can be, lol). I can see clearly I'm just some sort of disposal type thing that he can flex his ego in front of his friends, and fuck around with me knowing (or knowing but not caring) that I have to deal with these weird and totally unnecessary feelings of shittiness after.

What would you do in a situation like this? To be honest we do the whole step daughter step father roleplay, and he does have an actual stepdaughter, and it's just starting to really piss me off how I can clearly see I am treated with disrespect while I am doing him a favour in re-enacting his stupid roleplay so he doesn't act all rapey in his real life. What would you do? Confront him or just cut him off? I was pretty silent the whole trip as I was afraid that any of my contributions to any sort of friendliness and engagement in conversation would be declined, and I've been silent since, and I understand it's my job as a sex worker, but I mean seriously, when does that threshold of dealing with a mans fragile ego is enough?

I understand we have to deal with shit, I would consider that I have thick skin when it comes to dealing with many situations and letting it go, which does give me a lot of strength in being an escort, but I find as I get *slightly* older and maybe more knowledgeable in "the game" and the manipulation, I really am starting to have zero tolerance lol. What are your thoughts ladies?
From the weird, weird west :p

Leilaa

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Re: Went on a Trip with an Asshole Client
« Reply #1 on: 02 December 2017, 08:59:45 am »
I will put in simple words. He's an asshole and your too attached/involved (you wouldn't even be thinking about in otherwise. This is heading for disaster. Just cut him off completely.

I understand the whole 'rich guy clique' an old boyfriend was the same. It was a crowd of assholes. He's sounds like a horrible person for putting you in that situation and I would have never agreed to go with his friends. Since you paid your own fare I would have gone with girlfriens. Everybody is different but personally I wouldn't give him anymore of my time and drop him.

sultress000

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Re: Went on a Trip with an Asshole Client
« Reply #2 on: 02 December 2017, 09:22:40 am »
We don't HAVE to put up with anything as sex workers.. We choose what we are prepared to accept or not. This man sounds utterly disgusting and repulsive but your self esteem is the issue if you can't see that. I mean that kindly :)
Look into why you feel as a sex worker you should have to put up with any horrible comments or behaviour. What it suggests to me is that you are deep down judging yourself and have some shame around your job.
You are as wonderful and deserving of total respect as EVERY other person out there.It's this guy that is the horrible prick. Walk away, in fact fucking RUN!!!

Rosie13

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Re: Went on a Trip with an Asshole Client
« Reply #3 on: 02 December 2017, 12:46:33 pm »
If this wasn?t an escort/client situation, would you put up with the same treatment in civvy life? I wouldn?t. Just because you?re being paid, doesn?t mean you need to tolerate what makes you uncomfortable, unhappy or belittled.

In short; get rid.

English natural beauty

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Re: Went on a Trip with an Asshole Client
« Reply #4 on: 02 December 2017, 01:42:30 pm »
Look at the title that you wrote yourself. It sums it up. Asshole clients need cutting off!  You know what you need to do you need to tell him straight what he's done and how he's in the wrong!  You went on a trip with someone who was an asshole to you. He's treated you like shit, completely abused your kindness, and left you feeling hurt and humiliated. Least of all you have had to pay for some of the trip yourself?!?! This man is toxic and doesn't deserve to be given a chance. He needs to be called out on his behaviour or he will just think it's acceptable and continue to do it to you or even others. Sorry that you had this experience and been treated this way. Maybe book a spa break for yourself and just have some you time  xxx hugs xxx
Sometimes I think that I could die from an overdose of satisfaction. -Salvador Dali

Britishemilia

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Re: Went on a Trip with an Asshole Client
« Reply #5 on: 02 December 2017, 02:27:11 pm »
Out of experience, when the client doesn?t pay for your flight trip, or stays at urs for ?free? then he?s clearly taking advantage of your kindness

A real gentleman would respect your job and pay regardless when you say they don?t have to ...

He?s an manipulative asshole, just forget about him and move on

Don?t let these dicks take advantage of your kindness, stay strong ! <3

SimplySinful

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Re: Went on a Trip with an Asshole Client
« Reply #6 on: 02 December 2017, 03:35:40 pm »
Look at the title that you wrote yourself. It sums it up. Asshole clients need cutting off!  You know what you need to do you need to tell him straight what he's done and how he's in the wrong!  You went on a trip with someone who was an asshole to you. He's treated you like shit, completely abused your kindness, and left you feeling hurt and humiliated. Least of all you have had to pay for some of the trip yourself?!?! This man is toxic and doesn't deserve to be given a chance. He needs to be called out on his behaviour or he will just think it's acceptable and continue to do it to you or even others. Sorry that you had this experience and been treated this way. Maybe book a spa break for yourself and just have some you time  xxx hugs xxx

 I agree but I also think you need to look at  your vetting procedures and your rules and boundaries  as it sounds like they need tightening up  if you want to avoid this sort of thing in the future.

 As an Escort there is absolutely no need to put up with this behaviour or accept this type of booking.  Once you have worked these out you can  Weed out undesirable clients like this  so this type of situation is unlikely to happen again

English natural beauty

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Re: Went on a Trip with an Asshole Client
« Reply #7 on: 02 December 2017, 03:37:18 pm »
I agree but I also think you need to look at  your vetting procedures and your rules and boundaries  as it sounds like they need tightening up  if you want to avoid this sort of thing in the future.

 As an Escort there is absolutely no need to put up with this behaviour or accept this type of booking.  Once you have worked these out you can  Weed out undesirable clients like this  so this type of situation is unlikely to happen again

+1
Sometimes I think that I could die from an overdose of satisfaction. -Salvador Dali

clairebear86

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Re: Went on a Trip with an Asshole Client
« Reply #8 on: 02 December 2017, 04:37:38 pm »
Sounds like your too involved with this guy...its gone beyond a buyer/seller agreement. You do need to get rid. Although you need to be careful how you do it. He sounds like a prick and if you upset him he's likely to want to retaliate as that's what prick do. Slowly try and shake him off. Next time he rings make an excuse not to see him. Then do it again. You might have to see him once or twice more on a professional basis so do a shit job on him. Then avoid him and make excuses if he says what's wrong ....you could say your just not feeling it anymore as if been seeing a guy or girl and say your in love. Boom. Gone. Lol

MsDee

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Re: Went on a Trip with an Asshole Client
« Reply #9 on: 02 December 2017, 05:00:34 pm »
Let's face the facts, he is not going to marry you, he is not going to spoil you and he is not going to leave you money in his will.  The mere fact that he is rich and yet you still had to pay half for the trip is ridiculous.

Stop being gullible, clients do not respect us, they do not see us wifey material they see as 24/7 nympho manicas gagging for it.

He is never going to show you the respect you deserve and getting caught up with his games only prevents you from doing what you main aim was from the start in being an escort - to make money not lose it.

Build that wall, clients will schmoooze you tell you everything they think you want to hear with eventually getting everything this little gimp did. 

Delete all his contact details and numbers, do not see him and if you agree too raise your fees you have money to make up with this trip and keep to his allocated times no more freebies.

seraphine

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Re: Went on a Trip with an Asshole Client
« Reply #10 on: 03 December 2017, 12:37:36 am »
.
« Last Edit: 25 January 2019, 08:41:49 pm by 80s synthetic »

Philippa Joyce

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Re: Went on a Trip with an Asshole Client
« Reply #11 on: 03 December 2017, 08:35:57 am »
Cut him off completely, what an asshole. Made me cringe at the thought of you being in that situation.
I personally wouldn?t go anywhere with any of my punters, not even regulars.I learned the hard way after giving up the job and marrying one ...absolute disaster.

sweetmilf

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Re: Went on a Trip with an Asshole Client
« Reply #12 on: 03 December 2017, 09:36:23 am »
The main problem is the poor boundary setting.  You get to know the punter and you end up getting too close and forget that you are a professional woman. (not directed at the OP, just saying.  . .  x)

Clients are clients, but as the OP had admitted the boundary got blurred.  In my own experience, that's when Sh!t hits the fan and sometimes, you keep justifying yourself as money is coming in to pay the b** bills and "you had to do it".

A plenty of escorts do it to get more money with some of these deluded men.  I wouldn't call all punters deluded - some are highly respectable, are aware of each other's boundaries. On the other hand, some are completely not thinking and try to do all sorts of stupid things in the meantime to get his money work harder for him.  Some men know that they are paying to this "woman" or "sex worker" but wish they weren't at all - and as soon as you give them freebies and they try to get something else and something else, and something else.....  There are quite a few threads on this, mainly posted by escorts, who are in this industry for less than 2 years or so.  Also, there are other threads posted by women who "depend on" one single punter and she ends up with all sorts of problems.  Would that be a big surprise?

Some wise and respectable men accept that this is business and are fine.  But, not always with other men, as we all know.  Think about regulars, you/anybody had over the years, for example.   If I kept "dodgy transactions" where boundaries are constantly shifting and sometimes, don't exist as "we are sort of semi-friends now" etc, I would have been rich by now.   Money can be made with these murky semi-relationships with these paying men, and I'm pretty sure some women are good at handling these men.  I am not.  I do dislike messy transactions.
« Last Edit: 03 December 2017, 04:02:38 pm by sweetmilf »

Xcort

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Re: Went on a Trip with an Asshole Client
« Reply #13 on: 03 December 2017, 07:18:43 pm »
Get rid of him-it's not worth it.It would be better to make money seeing a few new guys and just have nice polite small talk with them than emotional abuse from this guy , you might find a nicer regular that way as well-be careful of him though, it sounds like he could get nasty once you get on the wrong side of him though

MsDee

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Re: Went on a Trip with an Asshole Client
« Reply #14 on: 03 December 2017, 07:40:58 pm »
The main problem is the poor boundary setting.  You get to know the punter and you end up getting too close and forget that you are a professional woman. (not directed at the OP, just saying.  . .  x)

Clients are clients, but as the OP had admitted the boundary got blurred.  In my own experience, that's when Sh!t hits the fan and sometimes, you keep justifying yourself as money is coming in to pay the b** bills and "you had to do it".

A plenty of escorts do it to get more money with some of these deluded men.  I wouldn't call all punters deluded - some are highly respectable, are aware of each other's boundaries. On the other hand, some are completely not thinking and try to do all sorts of stupid things in the meantime to get his money work harder for him.  Some men know that they are paying to this "woman" or "sex worker" but wish they weren't at all - and as soon as you give them freebies and they try to get something else and something else, and something else.....  There are quite a few threads on this, mainly posted by escorts, who are in this industry for less than 2 years or so.  Also, there are other threads posted by women who "depend on" one single punter and she ends up with all sorts of problems.  Would that be a big surprise?

Some wise and respectable men accept that this is business and are fine.  But, not always with other men, as we all know.  Think about regulars, you/anybody had over the years, for example.   If I kept "dodgy transactions" where boundaries are constantly shifting and sometimes, don't exist as "we are sort of semi-friends now" etc, I would have been rich by now.   Money can be made with these murky semi-relationships with these paying men, and I'm pretty sure some women are good at handling these men.  I am not.  I do dislike messy transactions.

I agree we have all made the mistakes in being deluded enough to think a punter would be interested in more than a shag from us.  But we create a fantasy and provide for these men what they do not get at home or allow them to fullfill their kinks without being judged by their other half.

I have had clients who wanted to be friends and that is all they were friends, they tried it on but I would cut them off and remind them that we are friends not friends with benefits.  I am happy to say that after 6 years I am still friends with an ex punter and he is and was a very good friend to me when I was a single woman and he never blurred the lines.  He is to this day a true gentleman.