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Author Topic: Suspicious busy body neighbour  (Read 2498 times)

Love.Sex.Dreams

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Re: Suspicious busy body neighbour
« Reply #15 on: 27 September 2019, 02:35:26 am »
The damage may have been done already, I just noticed my remote key to the garage was disabled, its a shared garage so I don't know. Maybe my eviction is in motion or its a glitch. We'll see. Pray for me please guys. I really liked the flat
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V24

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Re: Suspicious busy body neighbour
« Reply #16 on: 27 September 2019, 08:19:21 am »
You can't get evicted without first going to court and them having a reason to evict you, at the moment they don't.  If the garage isn't working and it's not a glitch then they are breaking the law by disabling it. 

To evict you they would have to give you an eviction notice citing one of the clauses that you may have broken, of course they would then have to have proof of this.  This is not a quick process so you could drag it out anyway until your 6 months lease is up and then leave.  In the meantime I would tell him to get off your step and just carry on as normal as I would suspect you would want to leave at the end of the lease eviction or not.
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Gwen28

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Re: Suspicious busy body neighbour
« Reply #17 on: 27 September 2019, 08:42:34 am »
I can relate, sometimes being a woman of colour some people think they can treat you anyway they like. You need to set boundaries, don't let people take advantage of you like this... its your house period and you decide who comes and play lol. Be polite but firm when you talk to him.
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Love.Sex.Dreams

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Re: Suspicious busy body neighbour
« Reply #18 on: 27 September 2019, 09:39:04 am »
Quote from: V24 on 27 September 2019, 08:19:21 am

To evict you they would have to give you an eviction notice citing one of the clauses that you may have broken,/quote]

At least the good thing here is that there isn't anything in the lease agreement about working from home and escorting is legal here so that  gives me some comfort at least.
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Love.Sex.Dreams

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Re: Suspicious busy body neighbour
« Reply #19 on: 27 September 2019, 09:43:52 am »
Quote from: Gwen28 on 27 September 2019, 08:42:34 am
I can relate, sometimes being a woman of colour some people think they can treat you anyway they like. You need to set boundaries, don't let people take advantage of you like this... its your house period and you decide who comes and play lol. Be polite but firm when you talk to him.

Yes, although I am scared, I am learning to set boundaries in every aspect of my life,  it's so important. It needs to be done, something I am working on as I am healing from codependency. I'll put myself to the test this Sunday if he comes around
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SWgirl

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Re: Suspicious busy body neighbour
« Reply #20 on: 27 September 2019, 11:04:43 am »
Hope you can get this sorted hun. No woman of any race colour or whatever it may be should have the personal boundaries invaded in such a way. Like Celeste said try to take your job out of the equation. The first moment I seen him lingering outside I would have been asking him outright what he’s doing.

I think for the police to be involved you’ll need to give him a verbal warning, at least one should suffice.

Do try to find your voice in this and get your life back as it seems like it’s causing you so much anxiety and stress. You don’t deserve this.

On another note if another person dared to touch my hair they’d be catching my hands! Trust!!
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ana30

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Re: Suspicious busy body neighbour
« Reply #21 on: 27 September 2019, 11:23:33 am »
Quote from: Love.Sex.Dreams on 27 September 2019, 02:12:26 am
I charged out last time and before I even said anything he spoke first and was pretty defensive. He said "it's okay she just likes to play with the play with the pebbles" in a very overpowering tone and I was just dumbfounded and retreated back into my flat, confused. I am really going to try and say something next time. It's so weird here on another note, everyone just touches my hair on the street without even asking. Just disrespectful and invasiveness all round

You should have told him very firmly: "Well, this is MY private property and I DON'T want people in it and that includes kids playing with pebbles. Now, go and find another place for your child to play with pebbles. End of.
« Last Edit: 27 September 2019, 12:03:06 pm by Ana30 »
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Justine

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Re: Suspicious busy body neighbour
« Reply #22 on: 27 September 2019, 11:46:29 am »
Quote from: Ana30 on 27 September 2019, 11:23:33 am
You should have told him very firmly: "Well, this is MY private property and I DON'T want people in it or kids playing with pebbles. Now, go and find another place for your child to play with pebbles. End of.

Yes! Or scoop up a bucket full of pebbles and put them outside his door. If that is really his excuse for loitering outside the building. Might be interesting to see if that ends the problem. You see Keep off the Grass notices. What about Please Keep off the Pebbles. I am serious.

Touching hair without permission is something I would not dream of doing to another woman and I see some totally gorgeous long glossy curly manes. Fake hair of course but that is not the issue. If someone touched my long hair in public I would not be smiling I would do something I may regret.
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Love.Sex.Dreams

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Re: Suspicious busy body neighbour
« Reply #23 on: 27 September 2019, 01:03:29 pm »
Quote from: Ana30 on 27 September 2019, 11:23:33 am
You should have told him very firmly: "Well, this is MY private property and I DON'T want people in it and that includes kids playing with pebbles. Now, go and find another place for your child to play with pebbles. End of.

Yes, I was berating and beating myself up after the encounter thinking why didn't I say exactly what you've typed here Ana, like NO its not f*cking ok for him to do this. Guys, all your advice has got me seriously pumped up, I actually can't wait for him to try me again or for some idiot to put their hands on my hair, I'll show them that I am not one to mess with going forward. I know it won't be easy but I'll need to just override the fear and speak up cause the sh*ts will continue and I'll hate myself for being such a p*ssy
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chocoholicgirl

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Re: Suspicious busy body neighbour
« Reply #24 on: 27 September 2019, 01:20:06 pm »
Quote from: Love.Sex.Dreams on 27 September 2019, 01:03:29 pm
Yes, I was berating and beating myself up after the encounter thinking why didn't I say exactly what you've typed here Ana, like NO its not f*cking ok for him to do this. Guys, all your advice has got me seriously pumped up, I actually can't wait for him to try me again or for some idiot to put their hands on my hair, I'll show them that I am not one to mess with going forward. I know it won't be easy but I'll need to just override the fear and speak up cause the sh*ts will continue and I'll hate myself for being such a p*ssy

You're not a pussy, it's because you are concerned about him knowing what you do and it's slightly overridden the fact he's a creepy weirdo that actually shouldn't be invading your space and making you feel uncomfortable and worse still, unsafe.

If you weren't escorting how would you react to him lingering around? You'd probably say something. He is WAY overstepping and should know better than to be on your doorstep unless specifically invited, that's just wrong on so many levels.

You don't need to be rude, you can ask him politely to leave as he's making you feel uncomfortable and it's YOUR house and he has not been invited. If he then continues you should take it further. As previously suggested, recording the initial conversation is a very good idea.
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ana30

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Re: Suspicious busy body neighbour
« Reply #25 on: 27 September 2019, 01:22:57 pm »
Quote from: Love.Sex.Dreams on 27 September 2019, 01:03:29 pm
Yes, I was berating and beating myself up after the encounter thinking why didn't I say exactly what you've typed here Ana, like NO its not f*cking ok for him to do this. Guys, all your advice has got me seriously pumped up, I actually can't wait for him to try me again or for some idiot to put their hands on my hair, I'll show them that I am not one to mess with going forward. I know it won't be easy but I'll need to just override the fear and speak up cause the sh*ts will continue and I'll hate myself for being such a p*ssy

The only issue I see here is the fact you're "sneaking in guys" and don't want neighbours to find out. You're a young black woman in a white posh neighbourhood and you have some old guy with a little too much time in his hands checking out the "new exotic element". You're probably quite pretty, well groomed and (as you said) have plastic surgery, so probably pop out like a sore thumb (with all my respects). If they find out there's guys coming in and out that's going to be a major issue and confirm their "fears" (she's a hooker! ) and they can gang up. Keep in mind you;re doing nothing illegal, but still.. neighbours can make your life very difficult when this happens (specially when you;re a pretty black young woman in a white neighbourhood). If I were you I would be already preparing an excellent cover up story. massage therapist? you're involved in some sort of piramid scheme marketing business where you have to meet clients? Whatever the story is make it bullet proof. Then go on with your life and don't engage with them but the ocasional "good morning and good afternoon".
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saltysweet

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Re: Suspicious busy body neighbour
« Reply #26 on: 27 September 2019, 01:38:31 pm »
I'd consider videoing when you tell him to ensure you have a/ evidence of your request and b/so you can't be falsely accused of wrong doing. It's legal to record in a public place. I've recorded people and their Smart Alec responses fizzle out.

I've also sent the images to their employers with a formal complaint.

I think without knowing it you've become the local celebrity and all this rude touching and bizarre close contact means they're fascinated by you. Probably a more diverse, busy mixed resi-bus area, where you're not the only 'popping babe in the village' may work better when your lease is up?

I use the local popping babes as my disguise lol  ;D
« Last Edit: 28 September 2019, 05:46:54 pm by saltysweet »
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Gypsy

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Re: Suspicious busy body neighbour
« Reply #27 on: 27 September 2019, 10:53:56 pm »
My God with this behaviour I'd smack him in the mouth after giving him a right mouthful  >:D How dare he do this!

I give cold callers a mouthful when they choose to ignore my very obvious no cold calling sign. Knock on my door at your peril  ;D

Twats the lot of 'em  :FF
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These days there are no Prince Charmings. A girl just has to be her own hero

EnglishAmy40

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Re: Suspicious busy body neighbour
« Reply #28 on: 28 September 2019, 05:15:50 pm »
Personally, I'd keep my head down and work as quietly as possible until the lease was up. I've found the best flats to rent are in areas with a lot of Eastern Europeans. They don't seem to take any notice of whats going on if you're discreet. I work from a nice flat in that type of area seeing four guys three times a week. Been there 18 months and no one knows. I'm like you - quite nervous about being outed. But when I left, that guy would get dog poop through his letterbox.
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saltysweet

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Re: Suspicious busy body neighbour
« Reply #29 on: 28 September 2019, 05:40:25 pm »
 ;D ;D ;D
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