Ok, so more I'm not sure about what to think of this, so I was interested to hear if other people have come to conclusions after escorting for a while, or whether people feel the same way as me.
I consider myself level headed and open minded, and I think one thing this job teaches you is not to judge. But my issue is the number of married men who have made me pretty much resigned to the fact that relationships are a fairytale and its best not to enter one as they will all follow a similar path....
Recently I have had four in depth discussions with married clients about how unhappy they are in their marriage, how their wife doesn't talk to them or touch them anymore, and how they feel stuck and alone now their children have left the nest. Standard stuff really, heard it a million times before, but so many similar discussions in such a short space of time has just left me feeling a bit desolate about any future relationships. I mean, will every woman end up being that hated, unloved wife and mother one day??! These men, could they EVER talk to their wives frankly and openly, and did the ability to do so vanish over time? Or did they marry women they didn't feel 100% comfortable with, and if so, how dare they go through with the marriage and then change their mind and get restless and paint their wives as these unloving dragons who they can't talk to or share things with.
I know every relationship is unique, but this just seems like a desolate pattern that they will all eventually end up following- whether after 5 years or fifty years.
I think these thoughts have been ignited because I recently went on holiday with my dad, and he basically had a few drinks and then broke down and said these things about my mum, which I was pretty furious with him about because quite frankly what the hell am I supposed to say to that? But then I also felt awful for him and wanted to help him as he is obviously feeling really upset, and so it was a horrible situation to be in. I know this has definitely made me much more sensitive to hearing clients say it.
I mean, these poor women- I am petrified I will end up in love with a man whilst he appears to fall in love with me but actually harbours feelings of being trapped and not sharing everything with me in a short space of time, and then when I end up living with him and bearing him children, all will happen is that he will think I'm fat and mumsy now I've had HIS bloody babies, and end up sneaking around and confiding in another woman because he doesn't feel like he can to me. And then how can I resent this as I am actually currently providing such a service to married men at present?!
It's always the same: "have you talked to your wife and explained how you feel" him: "oh NO! I could never tell her!" WHAT?!
Maybe us escorts have the upper hand- we see men in a true light, and so we can make a much more informed decision about long-term relationships. Like not to bother with them at all perhaps?! Who knows? Any thoughts or experiences to share would be very interesting to read. Also, I just maxed out my credit card on ONE internet purchase and it's not even midday on monday yet. Goddamn. RUBBISH DAY ALREADY!!