Author Topic: Funniest escorting story? (Read 8869 times)

justme · « **on:** 17 January 2009, 01:25:19 am »

It's not all doom and gloom and timewasters and no-shows is it?

What's been the funniest situation you've found yourself in as an escort?

lexienight · « **Reply #1 on:** 17 January 2009, 01:50:18 am »

I havent really had any funny meeting yet but i did wonder how to reply to the email i had asking me to send some of my knickers for ?500. He wanted me to shit on them first though and i think he wanted me to then watch him sniff them on webcam. I never replied and im sure it wasnt a real request but as it was only the 2nd email i had ever received it did freak me out for about 30seconds. Can you imagine the stuff our poor posties must be carrying around in their post bags without knowing

Anyway, not a fair question if your not posting an example of your own!

UrbaneAspects · « **Reply #2 on:** 17 January 2009, 03:15:39 am »

I think the funniest occasions are when you find yourself near the edge of the bed and the guy just happens to lose his balance! I cant help but laugh

loveamber · « **Reply #3 on:** 17 January 2009, 04:52:37 am »

not really something that happened to me, but just a funny request, I had one guy on AW who wanted me to dress as a cheerleader and watch him as he jumped naked on a trampoline. Then he wanted me to shoot him with a bb gun (plastic pellets) and if I managed to shoot him on the ass I had to run round the trampoline once cheering, then shout (cheerleader style) 2-4-6-8 EEEJACULATE! I couldnt stop laughing when I read it, I found it so funny! Im pretty sure it was a joke though. I actually emailed it through to my friend (the only person who knows im an escort) and she was like 'so is that the usual sort of thing you get asked to do?' lol x

UrbaneAspects · « **Reply #4 on:** 17 January 2009, 05:37:52 am »

Im sorry but, although this whole funny 'request' thing sounds amusing, it really aint. Its not so amusing when I have had 2 cancels in one day with 2 people who wanted to entertain themselves off of wasting my times.

Also...I got a text today from a man who has called me several times in the past 2 months asking to do an incall, which I dont do...and I told him several times that its up to him to pay for a hotel to host. Well this morning Im awoken with a text message joke which made absolutely no sense and I certainly didnt find funny!

And they werent cancels, they were no shows!

lexienight · « **Reply #5 on:** 17 January 2009, 12:47:12 pm »

Sod off Joey, dont hijack this thread which has been started as a bit of a light hearted giggle with your dramatisation of a cancelation. You have cancelations and TW everysingle bloody day/week just like the rest of us. You have to chill out and start to accept it. Now leave the funny threads alone. If you want to vent your anger find an appropriate thread or start a new one but dont moan here. Inappropriate.

cassie · « **Reply #6 on:** 17 January 2009, 02:47:21 pm »

Quote from: loveamber on 17 January 2009, 04:52:37 am

not really something that happened to me, but just a funny request, I had one guy on AW who wanted me to dress as a cheerleader and watch him as he jumped naked on a trampoline. Then he wanted me to shoot him with a bb gun (plastic pellets) and if I managed to shoot him on the ass I had to run round the trampoline once cheering, then shout (cheerleader style) 2-4-6-8 EEEJACULATE! I couldnt stop laughing when I read it, I found it so funny! Im pretty sure it was a joke though. I actually emailed it through to my friend (the only person who knows im an escort) and she was like 'so is that the usual sort of thing you get asked to do?' lol x

LOVE it!!!

cassie · « **Reply #7 on:** 17 January 2009, 02:51:55 pm »

Quote from: lexie on 17 January 2009, 12:47:12 pm

Sod off Joey, dont hijack this thread which has been started as a bit of a light hearted giggle with your dramatisation of a cancelation. You have cancelations and TW everysingle bloody day/week just like the rest of us. You have to chill out and start to accept it. Now leave the funny threads alone. If you want to vent your anger find an appropriate thread or start a new one but dont moan here. Inappropriate.

Cool it - babes!

Remember Joey has kind of contributed to this tread somewhere else, just to remind you:

Joey being chased screeching around the bedroom, benny hill style

But seriously Joey - be a sport - leave the lighthearted stuff alone, sometimes a laugh needs to stay a laugh.

cassie · « **Reply #8 on:** 17 January 2009, 03:00:38 pm »

Ok, this is something under the category of weird, disgusting, but made me laugh.

It was a reverse booking request - the guy was offering ?50 for half an hour outcall two days after an incall of 0.2 hrs for ?70 and some days later something like ?200 for an hour outcall, so I got curious.

Turns out for the ?50 he wanted a wg to provide 50 condoms containing the cum of her clients and he said in the comment that he would be happy to receive them on the doorstep and wouldn't even need to come into the wg house.

What made it more disgusting was that in the text of the ?200 booking he mentioned he wanted the escort to force him to drink the semen of her previous clients from the used condoms.

Puts a new meaning to the word spermbank!

lexienight · « **Reply #9 on:** 17 January 2009, 03:10:10 pm »

Quote from: cassie on 17 January 2009, 02:51:55 pm

Quote from: lexie on 17 January 2009, 12:47:12 pm
Sod off Joey, dont hijack this thread which has been started as a bit of a light hearted giggle with your dramatisation of a cancelation. You have cancelations and TW everysingle bloody day/week just like the rest of us. You have to chill out and start to accept it. Now leave the funny threads alone. If you want to vent your anger find an appropriate thread or start a new one but dont moan here. Inappropriate.

Cool it - babes!

Remember Joey has kind of contributed to this tread somewhere else, just to remind you:

Joey being chased screeching around the bedroom, benny hill style

But seriously Joey - be a sport - leave the lighthearted stuff alone, sometimes a laugh needs to stay a laugh.

I didnt mean to be mean and i didnt write it with anger but its not the thread to come in and be miserable on. He should start a new one or post somewhere more appropriate and id imagine he knows that himself really.

This is a lighthearted jokey thread and we dont always get those around here so its a shame to ruin it. and it could probably do with being a seperate thread cos its happening alot to joey lately and he clearly wants to talk about it.

lexienight · « **Reply #10 on:** 17 January 2009, 03:20:21 pm »

Quote from: cassie on 17 January 2009, 03:00:38 pm

Ok, this is something under the category of weird, disgusting, but made me laugh.

It was a reverse booking request - the guy was offering £50 for half an hour outcall two days after an incall of 0.2 hrs for £70 and some days later something like £200 for an hour outcall, so I got curious.

Turns out for the £50 he wanted a wg to provide 50 condoms containing the cum of her clients and he said in the comment that he would be happy to receive them on the doorstep and wouldn't even need to come into the wg house.

What made it more disgusting was that in the text of the £200 booking he mentioned he wanted the escort to force him to drink the semen of her previous clients from the used condoms.

Puts a new meaning to the word spermbank!

Shut up.... thats about the most vile thing ive heard i think. YUK YUK YUK! lol

I got an email this morning asking if someone could book to spank me hard, and if i could cry a little that would be nice too.... how would me crying be nice!!! I'm not going to accept the offer!

cassie · « **Reply #11 on:** 17 January 2009, 06:10:29 pm »

Now, who's killing the mood, lol (nudge in the ribs)

And I know and agree we need to treat this as the lighthearted thread it was started off as SO ...

... has anyone got a truely funny story?

Mine are generally funny with a vile or extremely embaressing aspect or haven't happened I the context of escorting, so as I'm not into humiliation and I don't want to gross out Lexie any more

Its someone elses turn.

UrbaneAspects · « **Reply #12 on:** 17 January 2009, 08:02:46 pm »

Quote from: cassie on 17 January 2009, 03:00:38 pm

What made it more disgusting was that in the text of the ?200 booking he mentioned he wanted the escort to force him to drink the semen of her previous clients from the used condoms.

Puts a new meaning to the word spermbank!

See...I just dont find this funny. Yes I did laugh, but it was out of disgust. I find morons like that to be sick! And anyway, how the f*ck can you come up with 200 or even 50 condoms with cum? I dont even have 50 clients a month! By the time I get 50 clients, half the semen would have done evaporated. They are poking fun at us to make it seem like we're f*cking all these people at one time.

I wouldnt chat with a nut like that for all the tea in China, They need to seek help!

lexienight · « **Reply #13 on:** 17 January 2009, 08:11:07 pm »

come on Joey, lighten up luv. if someone said it to me in a club id freak but these kind of emails are part and parcel of the job. And if you dont laugh you'd cry. I laugh all these things off. It would chew me up if i took them seriously all the time.

pandora · « **Reply #14 on:** 17 January 2009, 08:22:53 pm »

Ok lets get back to the original question.

I had a client who wanted us both to dress up in lingerie and then disco dance for the whole hour. Just watch those boobies jiggle!

See also the main SAAFE.info site for more Support And Advice For Escorts

Author Topic: Funniest escorting story? (Read 8869 times)

justme

Funniest escorting story?

lexienight

Re: Funniest escorting story?

UrbaneAspects

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loveamber

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UrbaneAspects

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lexienight

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cassie

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cassie

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cassie

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lexienight

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lexienight

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cassie

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UrbaneAspects

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lexienight

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pandora

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