Hi,

I've been working on cam on adultwork for a while now and have decided to take the step to meet my first client. It's somebody I talk to regularly on cam who is looking for a sub. He has good feedback on aw from both cammers and escorts but I'm nervous as this is my first time meeting! We are meeting in a bar and have agreed to an overnight outcall booking. I was wondering if anybody had some advice to help settle my nerves and make sure I stay safe.

Many many thanks!

Ruby, an overnight as a first booking is one hell of a tall order as it is and an overnight sub booking could turn out to be an absolute nightmare - have you discussed things like limits, boundaries, exactly how the booking is going to go including how much down time you're going to get?

Assuming this man isn't a fantasist (and people who ask for long, expensive bookings as a first appointment often are, although by no means all; make sure that you're aware of local 'going rates' for overnights though, particularly since you're offering niche services which may well mean a few days off afterwards), then meeting him in a bar really isn't a good idea, for starters. You need to check that everything is OK with the place you're staying so that you can tell your security buddy and confirm that's where you'll be, plus you need to be paid at the start which is harder to do in a public place as you need to count your fee and make sure it's correct.

I can't add much more because my real advice would be not to do it, and to cut your teeth on some shorter/textbook type prossie stuff, but the main points are to make sure you have a security buddy who knows exactly where you are and who you will agree to check in with, make sure everybody understands what will and will not be happening during the booking time and most of all, that you're getting a fair fee for this, since I suspect you won't be.

Oh, and if you haven't already, do read the main SAAFE site .



EDIT: Crossed posts with Ian, but what Ian said.

hi

umm you do know that sub is not the same as an escourt. I'm a sub and i don't to sex except ow and hj and the men I see are dominants and they like to do things like spanking and other bdsm things like breast bondage and clamps etc

do you know if this man  is expecting you to be submissive and do as he ask without question.

I think you should make sure of what he actually wants a whole night is along time if he want you to be totally sub.

rosen

I agree with the last part, but the rest really isn't as black and white as that; plenty of ladies do straightforward bookings with varying elements of either submission or domination and that includes me - I've done two 'pure' sub bookings in the last week which involved no 'traditional' sexual contact bar a handjob but many of my clients enjoy odd bits of spanking, verbal humiliation and so on, and pigeonholing people in the sex industry as having to be 'either' X or Y doesn't work.

Hopefully the OP will get a bit more info and come back, but even back when I still did overnights I wouldn't take on a full-on sub one unless I had the time for at least four or five days off afterwards, and I'd expect the fee to reflect this too.