Author Topic: Client with Asperger Syndrome (Read 5569 times)

TrashAzn · « **Reply #15 on:** 17 March 2017, 12:53:08 pm »

It really depends on a lot of factors no two people with asperger syndrome are ever quite the same, some find it easier than others to be social you wouldn't really notice most of the time though they can come off a little odd at times and some have more difficulties. Like with any disability you just need to work out what they can and can't do and work the booking around that, be upbeat and positive don't show frustration and try to make them comfortable as you would anyone else. When I first decided to do this job my biggest fear was clients who are disabled mentally and/or physically but since I started many of my favourite clients have some disability. I have a regular with some learning difficulties he can get stressed or anxious sometimes but he's such a sweetheart and the more we got to know each other the easier it's become to make sure he's comfortable and happy. He often books longer bookings which means I can ease him into things without any rush.

Aqua Allegoria · « **Reply #16 on:** 17 March 2017, 12:54:13 pm »

Quote from: Chatterly on 17 March 2017, 10:27:51 am

I had a guy a couple of days ago who I think was trying to push for BB. It was obvious he had Aspergers or some other mental issue. He kept texting me afterwards saying he didn't understand why I got offended. I just ignored him. He tried to book me again the next day. $:-\$ I found him quite manipulative
"hope you've not got the wrong impression of me". Telling me it was his birthday. He takes ages to come Saying people don't usually pick up on his Aspergers & some people think he's a confrontational prick! A few pestering texts afterwards. I just gave him a mouthful about not pushing escorts boundaries & safety etc. He came across as really shy & respectful at the start. He was apologetic when I told him I wouldn't get close to his bare dick as I straddled him to finish him with my hand but there was that still underlying factor that he was being manipulative that was a major red flag for me.

I'm not sure weather to leave feedback or not for him. I wouldn't see him again. I know another local escort cancelled his booking.

That's got nothing to do with his Asperger. He cant just say "oh poor me I got Asperger so I'd rather do bareback", that's just using your mental health condition as a lame excuse.
I once had a 2 hr booking with a half deaf guy. He was not only half deaf but also clearly slightly retarded and got a bit aggressive mid booking, not physically, more like verbally, he was all agitated, telling me how he wanted to have a wife who would stay home and cook and look pretty and be ready to have sex five times a day. And asking me if I was interested!!! I was freaking out because he was there jumping on my bed and I couldn't calm him down and there was no telling what he would do...
He asked me for feedback as well. No way. Tried to book a couple of weeks ago. I said no and he said "oh it's because I'm deaf!" I replied "no, it's because you scared me and I didn't feel safe"
Those guys know perfectly well what they do.

catlady85 · « **Reply #17 on:** 17 March 2017, 12:59:37 pm »

I had a client with Asperger's. I had to fire him after he became an obsessive stalker.

Quinn · « **Reply #18 on:** 17 March 2017, 01:00:17 pm »

Quote from: Chatterly on 17 March 2017, 10:27:51 am

I'm not sure weather to leave feedback or not for him. I wouldn't see him again. I know another local escort cancelled his booking.

I would like it if escorts began to be more honest in giving feedback. Even if you gave a slightly edited version of what happened, it may help other escorts in avoiding this man.

Lucy xx · « **Reply #19 on:** 17 March 2017, 01:09:48 pm »

The client I had with aspergers turned into a stalker too, he outed me to my mum who had no idea that I was an escort. I think he was just a nasty piece of work and used the aspergers as an excuse. I wouldn't let it stop me seeing anyone else with aspergers but I wouldn't deal with crap and use that as an excuse.

Treat them like any other client who pushes the boundaries

lapetitemort · « **Reply #20 on:** 17 March 2017, 08:46:22 pm »

I've had mixed. Some very mild aspies who were absolute sweethearts. But then I ad somebody recently quite clearly further along the spectrum. A long booking, was so difficult. I felt like a carer. Very obsessive, asking strange things of me, poor hygiene (I nearly threw up) and telling me way too much detail about other girls. Best part was that he left on time!

Emma_C · « **Reply #21 on:** 18 March 2017, 08:45:37 am »

Quote from: Aqua Allegoria on 17 March 2017, 12:54:13 pm

That's got nothing to do with his Asperger. He cant just say "oh poor me I got Asperger so I'd rather do bareback", that's just using your mental health condition as a lame excuse.
I once had a 2 hr booking with a half deaf guy. He was not only half deaf but also clearly slightly retarded and got a bit aggressive mid booking, not physically, more like verbally, he was all agitated, telling me how he wanted to have a wife who would stay home and cook and look pretty and be ready to have sex five times a day. And asking me if I was interested!!! I was freaking out because he was there jumping on my bed and I couldn't calm him down and there was no telling what he would do...
He asked me for feedback as well. No way. Tried to book a couple of weeks ago. I said no and he said "oh it's because I'm deaf!" I replied "no, it's because you scared me and I didn't feel safe"
Those guys know perfectly well what they do.

That sounds nasty. Hope he understood why you wouldn't see him.

It wasn't quite like that, but yes they do play on it don't they. It would be like me using my bad back as an excuse to end the booking early or let them do all the work whilst I just laid there. I may try that actually if they are a bit odd.

Aqua Allegoria · « **Reply #22 on:** 18 March 2017, 09:10:29 am »

Quote from: Chatterly on 18 March 2017, 08:45:37 am

That sounds nasty. Hope he understood why you wouldn't see him.

It wasn't quite like that, but yes they do play on it don't they. It would be like me using my bad back as an excuse to end the booking early or let them do all the work whilst I just laid there. I may try that actually if they are a bit odd.

I'm sorry if it came across as nasty. But someone who uses their mental health (or any health) condition as excuse to trick you into getting something they want is simply manipulating you. I had a few clients after serious surgery and a couple of clients with cancer, they didn't want any special favours or any pity.
Yes he perfectly understood what I told him. He apologised and pushed for a booking anyway. I still declined:)

Mirror · « **Reply #23 on:** 18 March 2017, 09:37:03 am »

I've had as many varied experiences as I have with clients who'd not declared they have any sort of issues.

One man was a real nightmare, who would these days be eliminated by my screening - at the time I was vulnerable with my own issues, and I gave him a lot of leeway. He caused me a lot of trouble, no least so when his supposed 'carer' threatened to report me to the police

. I had kept all the demanding 'I want sex' emails and texts from the young client (he was over 16!).

Interesting when a few years later that carer (who I was able to link to a caring 'organisation'), contacted me asking for a booking. Errr, very strange and no thank you.

Others have ranged from nothing noticeable, to some who need extra time at the end just to get their bearings and arrange their transport home before leaving.

Some of the worst problems have been with men who I would say have 'attachment' issues, have no empathy for others - which are supposedly Aspergers/Austistic traits (sorry if I get any of this wrong, I tend to see people as people rather than get hung up in diagnosis) who if you suggested they fell into that box would not accept it at all. They also tend to be people who have to remind you how 'nice' they are. In my experience is someone is having to say that they are 'nice', they are almost always very difficult to be with and struggle with relationships throughout their lives.

Emma_C · « **Reply #24 on:** 18 March 2017, 09:56:29 am »

Quote from: Mirror on 18 March 2017, 09:37:03 am

Some of the worst problems have been with men who I would say have 'attachment' issues, have no empathy for others - which are supposedly Aspergers/Austistic traits (sorry if I get any of this wrong, I tend to see people as people rather than get hung up in diagnosis) who if you suggested they fell into that box would not accept it at all. They also tend to be people who have to remind you how 'nice' they are. In my experience is someone is having to say that they are 'nice', they are almost always very difficult to be with and struggle with relationships throughout their lives.

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That's a good red flag to point out. More-so types on the phychopathic or "antisocial personality disorder" scales. I don't know much about Aspergers either but I know they aren't good at reading emotions & facial expressions & that's an issue for me.

I don't have the disabled clients box ticked on my profile & I'm now wondering if I should put something about not catering to "special needs" on my profile. Maybe I could put something in the feedback about that guy I saw a few days ago along the lines of,
" this chap would fall under the special needs category who unfortunately I don't normally cater for, so wouldn't see again for personal reasons".
I don't want to sound like a cold bitch though. I just find them emotionally draining.

Ieaio · « **Reply #25 on:** 18 March 2017, 10:45:06 am »

My sister is on the scale. I do want to make sure you are aware it CAN be dangerous, google aspergers outburst they are often physical & blurred lines of empathy can prove a difficult thing for seeing someone as a client, it's difficult to say because everyone with it varies on the scale some do have empathy & don't have outburts. Without the ability or with a hindered ability of empathy it can mean clients with Asperger are often boundary pushers & wont care too much to respect you. Socially they just find it a bit hard to make conversation & often avoid eye contact but given it is our literal job to guide the booking in a positive friendly way, don't see how the social aspect is any different to a client who is nervous as hell, I adore my sister it's not like they can't be friendly nice people. But meeting strangers with it, I personally wouldn't. I have in the past, but most don't tell you, given I have experience I know though & oftentimes they give me a reason to not see them again like one guy would turn up at my house unannounced and he couldn't understand why that was out of line. I'm not too sure why the theme of inappropriate over attachment as others have also describe. I get where you are coming from as regards to 'discrimination' but we do need to risk assess and sometimes all we have to go on is past experience and stereotypes. If we're talking science.... would you decline someone with HIV because it has a risk of your health. Yes. Regardless of 'oh it might be ok because of condoms' or in this case 'oh it might be ok because some are fine'. So why is it different to decline someone whos nural chemistry has wired in a way that doesn't connect properly to the all important empathy department (supramarginal gyrus) in many cases when empathy is humans biological safety net to not just punching everyone we dislike in the face.

Aqua Allegoria · « **Reply #26 on:** 18 March 2017, 10:45:57 am »

Quote from: Daisy_ on 18 March 2017, 10:18:36 am

Hmmn, there's quite a lot of incorrect worrying stereotypes being discussed on this thread I think. I don't think equating Aspergers to dangerous individuals is at all fair (read: it's downright discriminatory), nor is expecting everyone who has actually been diagnosed with this to be the same.

People with Aspergers - generally speaking - will take things extremely literally, will like structure and to have an exact plan of how things will be, may be quite anxious, and some may also may appear to communicate effectively (this is often a learned behaviour) but may feel anxious if anything goes "off script". Good clients are good clients and the clients I've had where they've disclosed this to me have been overwhelmingly fine; the ones who have been arses have been like that due to their personality, not their condition.

Clients with Aspergers who have also been abusive or who have behaved like a cunt have probably done so because they are abusive or because they like to behave like cunts.

I agree with this.
The reason I originally started this thread was because that particular client told me over the phone he had Aspergers and he asked if this would be an issue. I'm no specialist on any health matter, be it Asperger or blood pressure, so I was simply trying to be a bit prepared.
But in the end of the day it all comes down to what you just said: a cunt is a cunt no matter what. And a nice person is a nice person:)

Kay · « **Reply #27 on:** 18 March 2017, 02:25:26 pm »

Maybe I've been lucky, but all the people I've known have been on the lighter end of the Asperger's scale and been very nice to deal with (both in my general life and as clients). I think it's where you go deeper into autism that you can have tricky encounters because they cannot process your explanations and may react angrily or become volatile because their control has gone.

But as always, you have to take on a case-by-case basis.

SimplySinful · « **Reply #28 on:** 18 March 2017, 04:40:37 pm »

Quote from: Kay on 18 March 2017, 02:25:26 pm

Maybe I've been lucky, but all the people I've known have been on the lighter end of the Asperger's scale and been very nice to deal with (both in my general life and as clients). I think it's where you go deeper into autism that you can have tricky encounters because they cannot process your explanations and may react angrily or become volatile because their control has gone.

But as always, you have to take on a case-by-case basis.

Same with me. I seen a few clients who have told me beforehand. I'm not an expert but I feel like they were on the mild to moderate end of the spectrum. I just took into consideration what they said and all went well.

I can imagine at the severe end of the spectrum there would be a potentiality for misunderstanding, but as someone else said there's a difference between that and just being a dickhead.

KylieTs · « **Reply #29 on:** 20 March 2017, 03:20:10 pm »

Quote from: Daisy_ on 18 March 2017, 10:18:36 am

Hmmn, there's quite a lot of incorrect worrying stereotypes being discussed on this thread I think. I don't think equating Aspergers to dangerous individuals is at all fair (read: it's downright discriminatory), nor is expecting everyone who has actually been diagnosed with this to be the same.

People with Aspergers - generally speaking - will take things extremely literally, will like structure and to have an exact plan of how things will be, may be quite anxious, and some may also may appear to communicate effectively (this is often a learned behaviour) but may feel anxious if anything goes "off script". Good clients are good clients and the clients I've had where they've disclosed this to me have been overwhelmingly fine; the ones who have been arses have been like that due to their personality, not their condition.

Clients with Aspergers who have also been abusive or who have behaved like a cunt have probably done so because they are abusive or because they like to behave like cunts.

Totally agree, Aspergers is a form of Autism in a mild form, I have two relatives with it-although they would never admit it,or draw it to your attention,it affects lots of people on a sliding scale,yes they sometimes find it hard to read body-language or sarcasm etc, and, on the far-end, could be clingy, but most, like one I had are just a bit OCD and particular, he always used to say "I dont want to rushed" and take ten minutes laying his clothes out like he was in an army barracks so his clothes werent creased-not the end of the world!

If someone approached this by telling you before meeting, I would be cautious its not the old shock wind-up call, like" ive got a colostomy bag", or" im wheelchair-bound, do you mind if my carer watches", or could be a pre-lim to trying to excuse being an arse-hole!

See also the main SAAFE.info site for more Support And Advice For Escorts

Author Topic: Client with Asperger Syndrome (Read 5569 times)

TrashAzn

Re: Client with Asperger Syndrome

Aqua Allegoria

Re: Client with Asperger Syndrome

catlady85

Re: Client with Asperger Syndrome

Quinn

Re: Client with Asperger Syndrome

Lucy xx

Re: Client with Asperger Syndrome

lapetitemort

Re: Client with Asperger Syndrome

Emma_C

Re: Client with Asperger Syndrome

Aqua Allegoria

Re: Client with Asperger Syndrome

Mirror

Re: Client with Asperger Syndrome

Emma_C

Re: Client with Asperger Syndrome

Ieaio

Re: Client with Asperger Syndrome

Aqua Allegoria

Re: Client with Asperger Syndrome

Kay

Re: Client with Asperger Syndrome

SimplySinful

Re: Client with Asperger Syndrome

KylieTs

Re: Client with Asperger Syndrome