I finally got an idea about why Im so nervous. I have a fear of being judged, by clients, by family and friends. I do worry about law enforcement, but I can't let that fear stop me. We need this money. Here in the states, you can only get help from the states for 5 years. In my state its only 3. Lots of stuff make it hard to reenter the job market, so Im trying to make this work.