I think the one thing that still galls me is the ones that try and ask me out on a date after trying to book me and I've got no availability. My jaw *still* drops. And when I webcammed, the girls that would try and pull me used to piss me off too. I used to have an email account that showed on AW and they'd send photos of themselves like they would put on the dyke dating sites and ask me out. I always thought... you come on here to sniff out the dyke sex workers to try and pull... REALLY?? 

They never paid for a single minute of camera work. Ever.

 

Oooh there was a guy who did the circuit of bbw ladies called he assumed he his tongue was pretty amazing because he couldnt get his dick up.  He was the worst 2 hrs of my life that I would never ever be able to recover.

Then afterwards because I did not praise him etc.  He went around spreading rumours about me. 

I have to say, most, almost all, of the clients I get are fine and enjoyable at least on one level. I have only had a couple of gits and they were all of the Oxford Elite knobheads. I tend to pass over the really posh accents now (plummy! urgh! it's like nails on a chalk board!) if I hear them. I ripped two of them a new asshole. And one got on my nerves so much with the ranting of his opinion of things we were talking about (he was asking me about stuff I had done/travelled etc)... he was 24 and had only been off england in posh hotels and yachts... I finally lost my polite hostess quality and said "oh really? So, have YOU ever _______? "
"no...."
"ok, well how about when you do, then you can come back and tell my what your opinion is. OK?"

he did shut up a bit after that.

Luckily they are mostly chilled out and down to earth. One guy and I sit round the last 15 min or so yakking about mountain climbing and good trekking trails. I like when you can chill and yak like you are in a pub. I'm not a cuddly romantic giggly girl with men, mainly cause I just don't see them that way, that's saved for the butchgirls, but I like having a good natter with them about their biz - I get a lot of independant contractors and self-employed. They usually treat me incredibly well, those ones. I think they have a bit of a clue as to what being self-employed is like...

Oooh there was a guy who did the circuit of bbw ladies called he assumed he his tongue was pretty amazing because he couldnt get his dick up.  He was the worst 2 hrs of my life that I would never ever be able to recover.

Then afterwards because I did not praise him etc.  He went around spreading rumours about me.

Just by that description I know exactly who you are talking about.  Was the worst two hours of my life too. I was actually so anxious to get rid of him I offered to take him to the station for his train ................. lets face it, he was in no state to do anything to me in my car, was he ?   << vomit emoticon still wanted >>   

One client did really well in "piss the escort off, bingo". He was what I call a "seasoned punter", been punting for years and used all the lingo (which I hate as I find it so seedy) so instead of asking if I kiss, like normal men, he said "do you do French?". Eh? There's no reason to use code words, we aren't breaking the law and this isn't a sting!

He was a bit of a twat anyway and had pissed me off before he even arrived by telling me he'd let me know when he was on his way (he lives 45 mins away) rather than arrange an arrival time. I told him I needed more notice than that to get ready and he made a remark along the lines of "why do you need so long to get ready?" Arrrgh! Mate, just do as every other client has done - arrange an arrival time with me, then turn up at that time. I am not in a constant state of readiness.

I know the term "specialise" is perfectly reasonable, but I am not an escort who has a list of services like a menu and I don't "specialise" in anything (other than tolerating twats when I feel like giving them a back-hander in the ball bags). I've been in the biz a long time and he's the only one who has asked me what I specialise in (and this was during the booking, not an enquiry, so he had read my website etc), to which I replied "fucking strangers for money", followed by "well, as you would've read on my website I offer GFE..."

Then he did the classic "I'm really good at oral, many escorts have told me" when in fact he was shite. He just wasn't doing it for me, then stopped after about 30 seconds to get appraised. As if I can come in under a minute, especially with a naff technique. I could feel the drool run down the crack of my arse and he was flicking my clit rather than sucking it as I suggested.

Then he left the worst skid marks in my whoring history on my sheets. Arse!

When giving out the floor and room number opposite me, and asking guys not to repeat, them doing just that! This makes me what to scream. 

When giving out the floor and room number opposite me, and asking guys not to repeat, them doing just that! This makes me what to scream. 

Something simaler happened to me before..
and im absolutly fuming,a guy has just rang me from LOBBY! said "where do i go "and my name
i slammed phone down,sent him a text saying im trying to be discreet..
and no responce at all..im livid..waited all morning for him..