The fact that punters literally NEVER read your profile. I was getting 100's of messages on AW with punters asking the same question - so I decided to make an FAQ with all my most popular questions - and posted on the top of my profile ' Please read my FAQ before messaging me'.... Yet behold.... I am still... getting.... the same questions.... that could be answered... by my fucking FAQ!!!!

While were here, here are some of the questions I keep repeatedly getting (DESPITE MY FAQ ) that really piss me off!!!!

- something along the lines of im a photographer blah blah blah I can take some professional pictures of you for your profile blah blah blah
- Hi do you want a content creator partner!!! we can make *insert bullshit amount of money* every day!!!!
- Hi I really want to see you will you accept *insert lowball offer* im clean and respectful!!!
- Hi do you do anal/bareback? how much extra?
- 'can you send me a face picture'

also at the top of my profile it states:

UNTILL WE ARE OUT OF LOCKDOWN I AM ONLY OFFERING WEBCAM, DIRECTIM AND PHONE CHAT - so I have taken my escorting rates off my profile, and even 5 mins before I wrote this I have several messages

'hi babe can I book you for one hour today'
'Hi how much for 30mins incall'
'Hi, I would love to meet you today. Please text or WhatsApp me on 07......'
'hi what's your rates for incalls'
'Whats your booking number so I can book you?'

 ignorant bastards!!!

I had one ask me to wear crotchless panties. I only have one pair and they were drying on radiator so I told him I couldn't. He's a regular and usually fine, I went to bathroom and came back and he was rooting through the top drawer in my dresser. I said what the hell do you think you're doing? He said oh I was just looking what knickers you've got so I can pick a pair. He honestly couldn't understand what the issue might be?! The sense of entitlement regulars seem to pick up after a while really gets to me sometimes.

I had one fiddling with my luggage🧳tags once!!! I’d gone into the bathroom🚽, came out & he’s *clearly* trying to get a gander at my real name😡😡. I said, “Any luck with that information you’re looking for?” with my patented Celeste Death Glare. He had the good grace to be embarrassed & say, “Oh you caught me. I just wanted to know your name.” (He’d asked earlier; of course I’d refused)

Fortunately, FORTUNATELY I have the kind of tags that are hidden, not the type that you just turn over & can see everything written. That was purely by accident, but it’s all I ever use now.

Fucker. Blocked him & IIRC he texted from another # asking to see me again. I said absolutely not & told him why.😡

I had one fiddling with my luggage🧳tags once!!! I’d gone into the bathroom🚽, came out & he’s *clearly* trying to get a gander at my real name😡😡. I said, “Any luck with that information you’re looking for?” with my patented Celeste Death Glare. He had the good grace to be embarrassed & say, “Oh you caught me. I just wanted to know your name.” (He’d asked earlier; of course I’d refused)

Fortunately, FORTUNATELY I have the kind of tags that are hidden, not the type that you just turn over & can see everything written. That was purely by accident, but it’s all I ever use now.

Fucker. Blocked him & IIRC he texted from another # asking to see me again. I said absolutely not & told him why.😡

At least yours was embarrassed! A long time ago I was coming downstairs with a then regular, who went down first and then grabbed the post from the letterbox that had been posted while we were upstairs and took a nice long look and got my full name before slowly passing it to me. I was FUMING!

The fact that punters literally NEVER read your profile....


UNTILL WE ARE OUT OF LOCKDOWN I AM ONLY OFFERING WEBCAM, DIRECTIM AND PHONE CHAT .....
 ignorant bastards!!!

It's amazing how big and arrogant your capital letters, those idiots will NOT read it.  I also have big ostentatious capitals  right before the profile starts and still get messages as if they didn't see them, don't they friggin read at all?? Grrrr   

Probably been mentioned before but I had a tiff with a client this morning who rang me and asked “who’s this?!”  I reluctantly told him and he replied “ow much for 15!”  I don’t even do 15 minutes.

Prices and names are easier to find than my phone number.  . Why are you calling before you know if you don’t know my name or how much I charge. Grrrr

Yeah, I hang up if they say that. Also when they ask how much for 15 mins, I hang up cos I don't want them to even hear my voice apart from "hello". The best ones for me are the guys with deep educated voices who just say they saw my profile and want to know what my availability is. I have lots of time for them and will happily chat for five minutes.

My completely rational and not at all unreasonable contribution today is when they lie on my side of the bed 

Mine is when I pick up the phone & say, “Good afternoon, this is Celeste.”

“Hello, who’s this?”

😡”Good *afternoon*. This is CELESTE.”

“Is this Celeste?”

“I’ve told you my name twice now. You’re not listening🙉.”

“Uhhhh...”

Erghhhhhh....