Not even read the tag line, never mind the profile. I can't make it any clearer I'm currently on holiday, but still keep getting asked for bookings.   

Guy books for 1230pm rings at 1235pm to get the final directions, doesn't listen to a word I'm saying and randomly just blurts words out and asks if i can just come down and get him after 15 minutes of trying give him the simplest directions. Give up and tell him we best just leave it as it's 20 minutes into his half hour and he's got my back right up. Leaves me shitty feedback calling me lazy cause I wouldn't go meet him on the street 

OMG! I feel your pain!! I had it happen to me, he was an old man and I don't think he realised that he had done that so he carried on "orgasming" (more like pissing) all over the bed. My reaction wasn't the best. It shot straight to the back of my throat making me gag. I shot off the bed to run to the bathroom heaving very very loudly in the process. Sat downstairs afterwards gargling water whilst muttering the dirty bastard. LOL!

I told my bestie who also does this job and she found it highly amusing that she would tell anyone who knew what we did whilst crying with laughter. Then one day she was working at mine and after the booking she came to me with the most serious look. I was half thinking shit what have I done she's got that look like she's going to kill a bitch lol. She told me it just happened to her and she spend the next 2 weeks non stop apologising to me for laughing when it happened to me.