The Board of Trolls

[Miss Jameson]

I read today on the Board of Trolls that when the English punter rings your door, that respect or disrespect is not something that's given automatically, but until it is given, you're treated like a normal person who's selling sex. 

Shouldn't that be RESPECTFUL? Or am I an idiot by respecting every punter I meet, until he deserves a foot in his ass?

I wanted to get you ladies' opinions on the punters you meet. It's a given you all put forth your best efforts with your dates. Are some really that bland when walking through the door despite your best efforts? Or are some really happy to meet you, full of kisses and smiles?

Or is it a matter of 'who cares as long as he gets in and gets out'? Speaking of in and out, what about you ladies who have dates longer than one hour?  How often does it happen? I was reading on the Board of Trolls that a punter is considered sad if he spends longer than an hour with a WG. It was a consensus that most guys wouldn't know what to do with more than an hour (duh, like, do it again?).

Some of the most intelligent women participate on this forum. There is also a consensus that opinionated smart women are ball busters. My question to them, why are your balls so squishy? How often you ladies really get to flex your biggest muscle on your dates?

I have never regretted volunteering participation on a review board as much as I regretted stumbling across this particular board.  I wish every woman IN EX-FREAKIN'-SISTENCE could raise their rates to ?1000 an hour or more, and see how many of those trolls get laid then. Sorry for the rant, ladies. I have never been on a board where intelligence is frowned upon just so he can look at me and honestly think to himself, 'dumb whore.'

[amy]

I agree completely that respect has to be earned and is most certainly not a given. I do not automatically respect anyone; that does not mean I don't like them or cannot be polite, friendly or professional - treating them like a normal human being, in other words. I can respect their feelings, property, anonymity for example, without respecting them as people and I do not see how I could when I do not know them.

Why do you object to others having and expressing opinions which differ from your own? If a punter prefers 15 mintue quickies or long weekend/overnight bookings, what has that got to do with anybody else? There is indeed a 'consensus' about women among some members of that board which is exactly as you describe - there are also plenty of others who do not share their view, but since that will not reinforce your post I suppose it isn't very helpful to point it out, and there's far more mileage in shrieking about the more disagreeable sentiments which are posted. Intelligence is most certainly not frowned upon on the board, only by certain members of it and making sweeping generalisations about the people who post on there reduces you to exactly the same level as those you are slagging off.

I may as well remind everyone that we already have several tediously predictable threads on this topic, two of which have had to be locked, if memory serves. If you want to slag the posters on Punternet, please do it there.

[Miss Jameson]

I agree completely that respect has to be earned and is most certainly not a given. I do not automatically respect anyone; that does not mean I don't like them or cannot be polite, friendly or professional - treating them like a normal human being, in other words. I can respect their feelings, property, anonymity for example, without respecting them as people and I do not see how I could when I do not know them.

Okay, then. I'm the idiot. To me, respecting feelings, property, anonymity etc. is respecting them as a person. You don't have to know the particulars of a person to be respectful. It's not like as if I found out something totally awful about him, like he cheats on his wife or taxes, I'm going to treat him any differently. I'm still going to be all smiles and giggles.

Why do you object to others having and expressing opinions which differ from your own?

I don't object to others having opinions. I don't come down on anyone for the way they work, or the way they punt. There are no two WG's and no two punters alike. I just asked a question if it happens normally. I didn't think it was a big deal. If you asked the same of me, I would give you an honest answer. When ladies have questions on this board, I do the same all the time. Even when I don't have the issues that a lady's having I try my best to be objective in my answers to help her avoid the way that I do, and not make her feel stupid for asking a question.

If a punter prefers 15 mintue quickies or long weekend/overnight bookings, what has that got to do with anybody else?

Nothing really, again I just asked a question. I know there are some ladies and punters who don't do them, or don't have the time. And I know that extended bookings are generally at the punter's discretion due to the way he feels about the girl. 

There is indeed a 'consensus' about women among some members of that board which is exactly as you describe - there are also plenty of others who do not share their view, but since that will not reinforce your post I suppose it isn't very helpful to point it out, and there's far more mileage in shrieking about the more disagreeable sentiments which are posted. Intelligence is most certainly not frowned upon on the board, only by certain members of it and making sweeping generalisations about the people who post on there reduces you to exactly the same level as those you are slagging off.

I may as well remind everyone that we already have several tediously predictable threads on this topic, two of which have had to be locked, if memory serves. If you want to slag the posters on Punternet, please do it there.

I think it's very important to point it out, especially after reading the posts about intelligent women. And I wasn't looking for a big rally for my post, I was actually looking for the latter. I need to feel like there's hope. This was a moment-a rare moment of disgust. But thanks for the pep talk.
MAYBE I'm trying to change my business model for myself while working in the UK. And in that sense, I feel like I'm being chased off to find out things on my own. I got emails from a few punters. I was told that as an American that I would do good not to mention so, because Americans are hated. I was told not to take advice from smart women because they would disagree about the advice that I'd been given, because they don't get bookings anyway. I didn't want to listen to them. I came HERE for support, Amy. I would just like to know that I'm not being chased away.

[amy]

Nobody is calling you an idiot - part of the problem we seem to constantly be having is that you often seem to put words in people's mouths and then have a go at them not for what they actually said, but for what you decided they meant. You are entitled to your opinion, and if you can have respect for someone who you have never met and know nothing about that's up to you. But I will NOT have scraps from other forums on here.

Not all posters over there are the same any more than they are here - you cannot blithely attribute views to large groups of people you don't know and not expect to be challenged about it. Some of the nicest clients I have met have come from PN, as well as a good number of fabulous ladies. Like any other place where disparate groups of people gather, it pays to lurk about and get the feel of the place and the people rather than storming in all guns blazing and getting people's backs up.

If somebody posts something you don't like, either respond or ignore it and move on. If you find the board that objectionable, don't read it. Its only an internet forum, and doesn't reflect the whole UK industry any more than Billie Piper in that stupid Secret Diary thing does.

[Miss Jameson]

As far as the idiot comment, I never said you thought that. That's just the way I talk. You have no reason, to think I'm an idiot, and I don't think I'm an idiot. I see that I've got to stop typing how I talk because not everyone sees through to the real meaning. I constantly self-assess. I have no issues with criticism, as it only makes you better. I appreciate your thoughts.

Yeah maybe I showed a bit of weakness, and let the posts get to me, so thanks for the reality check.

[amy]

I am well aware that some random prat posted a link to your site in the ongoing thread about the US reference system, and was going to PM you about when I got home - I'm guessing somebody beat me to it. No-one would blame you for feeling defensive (although as the site said you were in London, you can't really blame people for being a little incredulous) but there is really no point in kicking up a fuss, it only lets them think they're getting to you.

Rise above the tossers and if you want to join in there are other interesting threads and plenty of nicer people; contributors whose experience is hugely different to the majority always have something to offer a board and you can easily dismiss the numpties. Just try to calm down  .

(if I posted how I talk, the air would be blue and everyone would have to go Northern to understand me  ).

[UrbaneAspects]

I stopped fooling with those punter forums. And Miss J, I would probably steer away from them as I used to read and VERY BRIEFLY posted on there. Especially being new to that area, being on the forum may discourage you quicker than normal.

And don't like Americans? Fuck please! They probably just hating, possibly even racist. And I notice that internet punter forums seem to be prime examples of discrimination in subtle ways. I even mentioned on the male punter forum about how I felt they were beginning to borderline a 'White Supremist' site for a variety of reasons that I wont discuss (as to not have scraps from other forums inserted here). After lots of heated posts, many which I could hardly read, look what happened.

If you feel strongly against what they are saying, I wouldn't hesitate to hop in and tell them off. However, I would probably not waste your breath because those guys are hard-headed and stubborn, and I cant even see how some women sit around and post there when there are men petitioning to make women charge less than $198 (or 130 pounds).

Consider those forums to be like talk shows. Like, Ricky Lake and Jerry Springer. There's some truth, but most of it is just entertainment (a very degrading form of it at that). Even clients I've met that have either read or given me reviews on 1 such popular review site, never witness the drama boiling in the forums, so therefore it makes up a very small percent of actual people.

[Miss Jameson]

Amy, I understood the reason it was posted, and I can even get why they badgered my ass LOL, and I'm over it. What really got me down is when I was reading some of the previous posts. I can understand a lot of it, as it's normal guy stuff about pricing and a lady's description of herself. But I guess since they're so bold as to not have a man's only section, a lot of their opinions are in the light. It really seemed like punting was their 'spit on women' time.  Especially on some of the topics when, after reading them,  a woman is supposed to get up in the morning, look herself in the mirror, and be happy with who she is, what she does and who she's doing it with. All I saw was "Don't be smart, don't be human. I'm paying you. Just be sexy and bend over. Pink and fluffy while I'm pissing on you, now." And for a moment I saw RED. But I'm over it.  *sigh*

Anyways, still working on my "UK" style and website. Trying to figure out how not to think so much about this. I'm trying to take some cues from the ladies I admire. Guess it'll happen when I'm ready.

Joey, I don't even know what I was thinking. I don't do the message boards in the US. The 'hobbyists' are ridiculous here too!LOL They post more on the boards than they punt. But I am trying to be more social, as I'm not normally.  Sometimes I feel like going into my quiet little corner like before, but I'm retiring in 2 years so I'm going hard before I take it home....

I appreciate you both

[EmilyJones]

I got emails from a few punters. I was told that as an American that I would do good not to mention so, because Americans are hated. I was told not to take advice from smart women because they would disagree about the advice that I'd been given, because they don't get bookings anyway. I didn't want to listen to them. I came HERE for support, Amy. I would just like to know that I'm not being chased away.

To be honest, if anyone exhibits blatant xenophobia and misogyny in their emails, you're quite right to disregard anything else they try to tell you. A lot of Grunters read the Daily Mail - but not all of them. (Have you read HookerAddicts's blog? It sounds dreadful but he's actually intelligent, insightful and able to discuss his own and others' icky emotions in a really fascinating way.) The thing is, sure, as a smart girl, I don't get many clients... from Grunterland. It's awful really, I just get a whole bunch of intelligent, generous, kind and respectful clients who tell me I'm awesome. It's almost impossible to bear! I think most women here, all being of the 'smart' variety, would tell you the same. As would any non-skinny, non-white, non-English women - maybe the worst of the Grunters don't like you, but that hardly puts you out of business. FFS! There's a zillion decent guys to bone for cash out there instead.

I have literally had to remove all punter sites from my life. They are banned from my house! There's nothing like watching one or two (or a handful at most) absolute grimy scummy wankers talk about how prostitutes should all be 18, blond, thin, dim, offer every orifice for no additional fee, and should only charge ~?80 for an hour's brutal reaming anyway. Those are the guys who should really have a nice, plastic doll to have sex with and should probably kindly remove themselves from general society. But as Amy pointed out, their attitudes make me so angry that I turn as grumpy and blinkered as they are. Hence - not reading the boards at all anymore. That way, I can stay positive, focus on my clients and my work and just try to push away the idea of those guys gleefully 'breaking in' the young, new escorts that they hunt down regularly. And write endless reviews of, suggesting that other punters "see her before she gets jaded" at the grand old age of 19, but mostly talking about their own prowess in the bedroom.

Blargh! Even a thread mentioning a forum with a few bad threads is sending me off on a right awful rant. All I'm trying to say is that I'm a living example of how ignoring these guys and, if you want to be safe, all punter forums, is quite essential. Remember that your good clients are the ones who would recoil in horror at the idea that they're paying you so you can't have any thoughts in your head. Great clients know how to enjoy a woman's brain as much as her body and they're the ones that make me feel great about the job! I could go on and on. This job is, for me, a bit of a mindf*ck but you can make it a lot easier by not upsetting yourself by going to look for bad threads on certain forums. They'll always be out there. But so will the great clients, albeit in different places.

Are you actually in London now? I'm sorry, I always forget where everyone is. I remember you posted a while back amazed at how little security we all have? (Not snarking, honest.) Well, compared to the US, where you can combine the need to avoid the law with the plus-point of being able to investigate your clients' lives and backgrounds, yeah, we don't really have a leg to stand on, here. In fact - it's maybe a Great British Prossie thing that we're proud to say we'll see anyone, regardless of your background or appearance or earnings etc. But under the surface, I think many of us actually screen quite heavily. Those of us who are indie and work alone with only a security buddy probably all do, anyway. If you're in a flat/brothel/parlour it's really not such an issue, except that flats do get burgled at gun/knife-point occasionally. Anyway, to get more details on security, it might be best to ask in private messages as none of us here are going to go into details publically - sometimes Punternet links right to SAAFE posts!

Oh, and re. socialising with punters, I think a blog can 'do' for that - most of my clients say they've loved reading my blog (sometimes they quote from my oldest posts ) and felt that they got to know a bit about me from it. So that could well save you from having to hang about punter forums if they provoke a similar reaction in you as they do in me? I also talk on Twitter with a whole bunch of people (not clients) who are awesome and it's like a weird little safe place to talk openly but semi-anonymously - you still have that link to your website in your profile, if you want it there, and Twitter drives a lot of traffic to my site (again, not a lot of clients, probably!). So it's not really for advertising or touting, just a bit of semi-rational conversation now and then.

[Lucy Chambers]

Yeah maybe I showed a bit of weakness, and let the posts get to me, so thanks for the reality check.

I saw the comments on Punternet. If you take that kind of thing to heart, you will hate working in England. Unfortunately, your site wasn't quite ready, but look on the bright side, you must have done something right or they would not have found it! Good luck with your trip, and good on you for sticking up for yourself, but please bear in mind that the boards represent a very small cross section of the client community. And the warnings board is a useful resource!

[Miss Jameson]

To be honest, if anyone exhibits blatant xenophobia and misogyny in their emails, you're quite right to disregard anything else they try to tell you. A lot of Grunters read the Daily Mail - but not all of them. (Have you read HookerAddicts's blog? It sounds dreadful but he's actually intelligent, insightful and able to discuss his own and others' icky emotions in a really fascinating way.) The thing is, sure, as a smart girl, I don't get many clients... from Grunterland. It's awful really, I just get a whole bunch of intelligent, generous, kind and respectful clients who tell me I'm awesome. It's almost impossible to bear! I think most women here, all being of the 'smart' variety, would tell you the same. As would any non-skinny, non-white, non-English women - maybe the worst of the Grunters don't like you, but that hardly puts you out of business. FFS! There's a zillion decent guys to bone for cash out there instead.

You know, I have read his blog, and her really is insightful. And you are right! Plenty of fish!

I have literally had to remove all punter sites from my life. They are banned from my house! There's nothing like watching one or two (or a handful at most) absolute grimy scummy wankers talk about how prostitutes should all be 18, blond, thin, dim, offer every orifice for no additional fee, and should only charge ~?80 for an hour's brutal reaming anyway. Those are the guys who should really have a nice, plastic doll to have sex with and should probably kindly remove themselves from general society. But as Amy pointed out, their attitudes make me so angry that I turn as grumpy and blinkered as they are. Hence - not reading the boards at all anymore. That way, I can stay positive, focus on my clients and my work and just try to push away the idea of those guys gleefully 'breaking in' the young, new escorts that they hunt down regularly. And write endless reviews of, suggesting that other punters "see her before she gets jaded" at the grand old age of 19, but mostly talking about their own prowess in the bedroom.

Wow, you're worse than me, ranting on!LOL And the funny thing is, I normally just introduce myself, keep an eye on the warnings, and try not to post on the more opinionated stuff. But what I do try to do is help guys look better on escorts and the time they spend with us. And what you're describing happens everywhere. The guys on the board feel like they can make or break your career. Here, they go so far as asking for free sessions for positive reviews.

Blargh! Even a thread mentioning a forum with a few bad threads is sending me off on a right awful rant. All I'm trying to say is that I'm a living example of how ignoring these guys and, if you want to be safe, all punter forums, is quite essential. Remember that your good clients are the ones who would recoil in horror at the idea that they're paying you so you can't have any thoughts in your head. Great clients know how to enjoy a woman's brain as much as her body and they're the ones that make me feel great about the job! I could go on and on. This job is, for me, a bit of a mindf*ck but you can make it a lot easier by not upsetting yourself by going to look for bad threads on certain forums. They'll always be out there. But so will the great clients, albeit in different places.

You know, reading this made me wonder why I did let them bother me. Maybe because I got some of the most ballsy, 'I'm not even trying to be nice to you' emails a lady could get. But then I also got four honestly nice emails, and a couple actually filled out my stupid form! LOL All to let me know that they were interested when I come to town...talk about rainbows after storms!

Are you actually in London now? I'm sorry, I always forget where everyone is. I remember you posted a while back amazed at how little security we all have? (Not snarking, honest.) Well, compared to the US, where you can combine the need to avoid the law with the plus-point of being able to investigate your clients' lives and backgrounds, yeah, we don't really have a leg to stand on, here. In fact - it's maybe a Great British Prossie thing that we're proud to say we'll see anyone, regardless of your background or appearance or earnings etc. But under the surface, I think many of us actually screen quite heavily. Those of us who are indie and work alone with only a security buddy probably all do, anyway. If you're in a flat/brothel/parlour it's really not such an issue, except that flats do get burgled at gun/knife-point occasionally. Anyway, to get more details on security, it might be best to ask in private messages as none of us here are going to go into details publically - sometimes Punternet links right to SAAFE posts!

I was supposed to be there on the 16th,  but I had to postpone. Things happen for a reason I think. This gives me a bit of time to learn a bit more. No, it wasn't that I thought you guys were just unconcerned, I just needed to know HOW it was being done. With things being legal, I knew the screening process went out of the window, because the only purpose for it is to make sure he's not a cop. And partly to make sure that if things did go bad, he could be reported on the bad date sites. When I get there, I just don't want to run into any psychos, or get beat up or robbed, and not be helped by the police.  I think that's every woman's concern. As I have said, if any of you were coming to the US, I will write you a screening Bible, and make sure you're connected in every way you need to be. I thought I would get that in return from someone who could see how culturally stupid I am.LOL I admittedly am trying to find my way in the dark. I don't have any prejudices against anyone of any financial status or background. But I just need to find the ways to work without running into any crazies. Yeah, Harlow said that the parlours were kind of wacky. I'm going to avoid them. I really want to be independent. I've got the funds to rent a flat, and I would either need a driver (I am NO good at the opposite side driving!) or do incalls only. But I know successful incall only working all depends on my location. *sigh*  Too much to think about.

Thank you all for your kind words. I swear this degree of spastic 'slagging' ( I like that word!) off is not me normally. I must be slightly hormonal . I'm going to take the next three days, get to somebody's spa, see my daughter's ballet recital, and relax. Thanks guys!

[UrbaneAspects]

If you take that kind of thing to heart, you will hate working in England.

I also find that many of the guys who post on the punter forums in my local area are usually unemployed or dont even have the money to hire. I've only met 1 guy off the punter forums here, many have messaged me inquring about booking, or telling me to "call them when Im in town" but wont come up with money to fly me over.

Cheap ass mother fuckers!

[UrbaneAspects]

I swear this degree of spastic 'slagging' ( I like that word!)

Don't you just love the 'true' English slang? My favorite words are slag, bum (sounds funny), tube (as in the american subway), lift (as in the american elevator), bloody (fuck!). There's a few more that I like but cant recall at the moment.

[Lucy Chambers]

Anyways, still working on my "UK" style and website. Trying to figure out how not to think so much about this. I'm trying to take some cues from the ladies I admire. Guess it'll happen when I'm ready.

How about getting some help? A web designer could put a slick looking site in a matter of days and their input into directories and link exchange would be invaluable. Have a look at the SAAFE main page.

[EmilyJones]

Also, as always with anyone coming to London, I'm always available to talk about safety and security stuff as well as discuss potential good areas to live/work in and share the numbers of timewasters and weirdos and so on. I definitely *don't* know everything - I never work from hotels and since quitting my agencies, I barely even remember where all the lifts etc are in all the main hotels, like I used to know for outcalls. So I can only offer a few bits of information here and there but if you feel like chatting to someone here might help you at all, you're 100% more than welcome to PM or email etc. There are also far more experienced ladies who probably have far better ideas than me about how to be super-successful in London (another warning is that my idea of 'busy' is 6 clients a week followed by a week off for stress-relief ) - the best thing to do, which you've probably already done, is lurk here and on the Guild of Harlots til you find the right women and send a strategic PM or two. Of course, not til you're ready to move, anyway. I hope you have a lovely, relaxing time at the spa and recital!