Hey all

Sorry..little bit of a rant 

Had a heck of a sucky day today!

I live in the centre of a small city. The street I live on is notoriously "dodgy" ( I like its proximatey to everything) and although I have never been attacked, I put up with sexual harrassment and verbal abuse on a daily basis. For example, taking my dog for a walk  will mean several groups of grown men will either follow me, shout sexual abuse at me (fucky fucky with me baaabee), grab my arse or on a particularly bad occassion, throw a bottle of piss at me from a moving car when I ignored the charmers advances..oh yes. These men can range from 8 to around 60, and if it's late and dark at night or first thing in the morning. I can be wearing a bikini or a suit..it makes no difference. Sometimes it doesn't bother me and sometimes the frustration makes me cry.
Today was a particularly bad day. I was visiting a friend about a 20 min walk away and had to pass a taxi station. As my friend is ill and needed me to pop to the shops for them I needed to pass this rank at 4 times in total. Every time I passed, the 20 or so guys in the unit or cabs would start banging on the windows, "howling" and shouting the usual (suck my dick baybee etc) and various other pearls of wisdom from their silver tongues. People were staring and I was mortified, a little scared and felt about 2 inches tall. Worst of all, I realised these pricks were the cabbies I usually use..they get about 40 quid a week or more out of me!! Also, they were in the local paper recently being awarded a special gold status for "terrific customer service". The final time I walked past, to get home, It was only a couple of drivers shouting, next to a chap in a suit. I was furious, and got the nerve up to walk up to them and ask if thats the way they believe they should treat prospective customer...shouting abuse at a lone female. I mean, the guys are supposed to be trusted to get lone, drunked females home late at night..it beggars belief!!! Should have known better, they laughed in my face and just made jokes about how they would "relax" me. I ask who the manager was..guess what? I was talking to him.
 I walked home hating myself. For being so impotent and for being so weak. And for having given the b@stards 's in fares over the years. I don't consider myself weak usually and like to feel I can take care of myself but how can a change the behaviour of the hundreds of men around me. The old proverb goes  "accept the things you can't change and change the things you can't accept" (or someting like that) but where does that leave me? I can't accept it so I could either a) Move b) become a hermit. But why should I be driven out??

I posted this so I could get it off my chest, it's really bothering me. But also to find out how many other women suffer from this sort of thing, and how they deal with it? I'm sure i'm not alone in this..

xhugsx
Melody xx

Oh my Gosh Lucy, thats so random..the only and only time I was in Sussex Gardens I was flashed at!! You poor, poor thing! Yeah great location but sooo many mentalists round there 

Yes, I think moving is the best idea..there's places equally close to town but without all the randoms hanging around looking for women to pester. Also I reckon the letter to the council idea is a good one, particularly as they allowed this cab firm to have this "advanced status" licence thingy. Would love to call on the press at times such as this but with our local paper "family pet rabbit stolen" is as gritty as it likes to get lol.
Ooh you have me thinking now you know..I'd like to try a new city, and as long as I can commute into London at least a couple of times a week, I can go anywhere I like..hmmm 

Sweet dreams my fellow night owl xx

The next time you have to walk past the taxi rank take a mini cam corder with you. record all the verbal abuse  (camera in your bag)and then get their faces on camera so they can see you doing this and state you are recording it to report them for their actions.(you cannot film anyone without their knowledge).  Take this straight to your local council office, the part that deals with licensing. The licensing rules are very strict for cabbies now and they will take this matter seriously and will be able to match the faces to the licenses they hold for them. Sexual abuse is not tolerated in that line of business anymore and the council if pushed to act will do so, by either fining the drivers or suspending their licenses if they continue.

Also if someone grabs your arse etc it is assault and I would report it as such. Too many men think it is acceptable as most women just let it pass. Whenever I am in London or Birmingham I always make sure I carry a little mini cam with me so I can record people who do this, soon as they see the cam they tend to back off and disappear really quickly.

Oh my Gosh Lucy, thats so random..the only and only time I was in Sussex Gardens I was flashed at!! You poor, poor thing! Yeah great location but sooo many mentalists round there  

Yes, I think moving is the best idea..there's places equally close to town but without all the randoms hanging around looking for women to pester. Also I reckon the letter to the council idea is a good one, particularly as they allowed this cab firm to have this "advanced status" licence thingy. Would love to call on the press at times such as this but with our local paper "family pet rabbit stolen" is as gritty as it likes to get lol.
Ooh you have me thinking now you know..I'd like to try a new city, and as long as I can commute into London at least a couple of times a week, I can go anywhere I like..hmmm  

Sweet dreams my fellow night owl xx

Thats exactly what I do..I now live three hours from London, and as I have the menagerie at home I have to commute to work, but in a lot of ways it has worked out better as I get to do my favourite thing, travel.

As to the camcorder idea it is a good one, but I wouldn't walk around carrying one, you may find that it makes you something of a different kind of target. You could always start carrying a rape alarm though, the new ones hook onto your bag strap and you literally just pull it..and they are LOUD...

Nil bastardum carborandum..

Hi

Move on to a better life, you deserve better!

H xx

Some posts above have been edited to remove racist, xenophobic and otherwise offensive content. SAAFE is not a place for prejudice and to air ignorant, bigoted views here is inappropriate and unacceptable.

Further posts expressing similar sentiments will be deleted.

Erm, I referred to a area that is well known for street robberies. There are areas like that all over britain, and while I fully accept that in retrospect that could be offensive to some, I do not accept that it  was in anyway racist, ignorant, bigoted or xenophobic. Nor was it a comment calculated to cause offence.

As you say, there are plenty of areas known for street robberies all over the UK, but to stereotype and dismiss them for this reason (and it would have been the same whichever area it had been) is offensive to some people, and the reason I removed the specific reference was following a complaint from someone who was irritated by it and not unreasonably.

The comment which was racist and xenophobic was removed from a different post, and another post was removed altogether. I doubt any of them were intended to cause offence, but they did, and whilst I'm all for letting people show themselves to some extent when it comes to things like this, it reflects badly on SAAFE. These sort of simplistic generalisations are not helpful to the discussion and do not belong on the forum.