"You'll have to be quiet when you arrive" - translates to "I've got family/friends/kids in the house/nosey neighbours who are going to cause a fuss".
"Do you ever offer discounts?"
"What's the furthest you will travel for a booking?" - translates to I live 'out in the sticks' or I just want you to drive miles for nothing while I giggle from across the street of where I sent you.
"Will you have a driver or do you drive yourself?" - could be an over-paranoid nervous guy but who knows so I don't chance it.
"I found your number on the internet", "did you read anything other than the number and the pictures?", "of course I did", "so what's my name and where am I located?"... "*not my name and miles from where I'm located*"..."*in the style of an automated voice* sorry you've failed to secure a booking on this occasion, better luck next time!" Hang up. I do like to play with their heads a little sometimes.
"What's the shortest booking time you offer" - AKA "I am a cheapskate and want to fuck you for the longest time I can get for the cheapest price". Losers.