SAAFE forum
General Category => Blather and Babble => Topic started by: mia1993 on 30 September 2018, 09:54:21 pm
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As stated in my previous posts, I just started escorting last week, went live on AW last thursday, and got a lot of messages from men for booking on friday.
My initial 24 hours from the moment I was on AW until my first booking was already stressy.
-I had so many men contacting me, and 95% of these were total time wasters, which was really frustrating.
-Then on Friday morning my AW account gets deactivated for not verifying.
-Then the hotels messed up my booking and whilst I was parading around my room in lingerie and laying out condoms, lube, etc., someone puts a key card in my hotel room - a couple comes walking in and I am startled (the hotel assigned the same room to them)
-Then my first client when I disclose the name of hotel (initially telling him it will be around Birmingham City Centre) which he was absolutely fine with, when I told him the name of the hotel he starts getting anxious telling me he cannot come to Broad Street because he experienced a traumatic incident there with his previous wife
-My client finally plucks the courage to come -as he begins to get comfortable there is a knock on the door - rushing to make sure no one is going to barge in again I open the door. Its the duty manager apologising and asking me to confirm my name for the booking and confirm the name on my debit card (which would be my real name, which I would not want the client to hear!).
After all of that palaver, the first appointment was fine as it could be.
Then my second client came two hours later. He again was super nice and sweet, he actually reminded me exactly of the guy I used to date. One moment I was fine, next moment I started crying. I am SUPER embarrassed looking back at this now, and even reliving it right now whilst typing this out.
I feel it was perhaps an overwhelming day - but has anyone else ever got emotional in front of a client ? :/ - yes its unprofessional I know
Luckily, the guy was so nice and we ended up actually just talking for ages and he didn't even ask for his money back, but I just felt so bad as he was coming to deflower a newbie escort and here he ends up with a crying young woman. :'(
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In the nicest possible way. Are you sure escorting is for you?
The issues you have had are run of the mill issues many of us have, but we say fuck it and move on.
The TW's never go away.
The idiots never go away.
The insults never go away.
Issues with hotels happen. A lot. Including WG's been told to leave.
Punters not wanting to show up to hotels. Happens.
Those are just some of the nicer side of things involved with escorting.
If that's stressing you out, how are you going to deal with the inevitable of the phone doesn't ring for days or hardly rings? I remember when I joined AW the contact was never-ending. But it quickly died down when the novelty wore off about being a newbie. Then there was a 10-day drought before things picked back up to a manageable level. But I still get called a Cunt because I won't give some fucking idiot some free phone sex. Are you really sure you can handle that?
And that's before the depraved fuckers start. The ones you hope are just fantasist and contact you through AW with some sick stuff. I'd rather deal with the phone pests any day of the week than these.
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You need to be very thick skinned to work in the business. You might not be ready for it x
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In the nicest possible way. Are you sure escorting is for you?
The issues you have had are run of the mill issues many of us have, but we say fuck it and move on.
The TW's never go away.
The idiots never go away.
The insults never go away.
Issues with hotels happen. A lot. Including WG's been told to leave.
Punters not wanting to show up to hotels. Happens.
Those are just some of the nicer side of things involved with escorting.
If that's stressing you out, how are you going to deal with the inevitable of the phone doesn't ring for days or hardly rings? I remember when I joined AW the contact was never-ending. But it quickly died down when the novelty wore off about being a newbie. Then there was a 10-day drought before things picked back up to a manageable level. But I still get called a Cunt because I won't give some fucking idiot some free phone sex. Are you really sure you can handle that?
And that's before the depraved fuckers start. The ones you hope are just fantasist and contact you through AW with some sick stuff. I'd rather deal with the phone pests any day of the week than these.
This.
Also, this is a HARD game! Yes, the money's good but we need to put up with all of the above and more.
How are you going to deal with aggressive clients during a booking, for example?
I threw a client out last month, without a refund. Could you do that at the moment?
Breaking down in front of clients is not acceptable.
I'm not trying to sound harsh. I'm a full time touring escort and have seen every type of client under the sun. I've also had everything happen in hotels you could possibly imagine from people walking in to being thrown out.
Timewasters and twats are a major part of this job. I block several every day.
I would consider if this type of work is for you.
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Full Escort may be too much for you.
Have you considered doing massage with HE.
There are always going to be idiots and some send texts only to freak us out with disgusting suggestions about hardsports etc.
You were lucky he was nice to you the next one could get angry and shout at you.
Hotels can be tricky I have heard many times of others walking in or staff walking in.
Get a door stop under your door or put the chain on if there is one.
I used to be a cheeky B when I first started I used to chase men out of my room all the time I never thought about the hotel staff I think I was a little loopy tbh.
Better days now lol I play much nicer and am careful of the staff.
A thick skin is essential.
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Think some of you are being harsh on the OP. With comments like these she really will end up giving up. How about some positive advice?
I did something myself I regret yesterday. I shouted and swore at a client who could not find my place. This would likely not have happened had I not already had a bad couple of days.
I have also broken down in front of a client a few years ago and I wasn’t new. I did insist on him taking his money back though.
What happened to you would have really unsettled me too.
Tomorrow could be a better day for you.
Had you been a few months in to escorting perhaps these events would not have affected you as much.
Have a nice hot bath. Turn your phone off. And try again another day. You know what they say about falling off a horse. Climb back on it.
Were you possibly suffering from PMT by any chance? Rather than it being escorting that’s a problem.
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Full Escort may be too much for you.
Have you considered doing massage with HE.
I don’t think the services she offered would have made a difference to what happened in the hotel. X
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Agree with LOTM here.
We all get days where we question what the hell we are doing?
But for me, that happened far more often in my civvy work ( many and varied ) It's just life.
I sometimes have experiences in which I think, had they occured during my first day, there would never have been a second. You were just unlucky and with experience ( should you decide to continue ) comes an instinct that helps you avoid or sail through such a catalogue of chaos.
Best of luck whatever you decide :)
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On Saturday I planned to roll in to my work flat at 12. 40 min drive. Fancied chilling with son. Local cafe. Nice latte.
Then somebody booked at 11 and I decided I would go at 11.
Then another guy called and I told him 12. He begged for 10. I dropped my plans and rushed in.
He didn’t show. Then the 11am texted at 1050 to say called in to work.
Quiet for hours And constant no shows then when I double booked they both showed. I then felt guilty. Wanted to cry.
Then yesterday was just as bad.
I ended up losing temper with a stupid man who was not listening to my instructions for directions.
Had that been my first day no way would I have returned.
On my first day as an escort I was lucky. Four lovely clients.
Let’s try and help the OP out here without negative comments. X
This reminds me of when I was a taxi driver. Lots of bad days. On my first day they made a point of giving me all the good jobs. I didn’t have a bad first day so I stayed.
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Well that was a baptism of fire alright!
I agree with the comment about civvy jobs getting us in a flap. My civvy jobs had me rushing off to the bog for a right good bawl more than once.
Also crying dosent mean you aren't coping because crying is a coping mechanism, albeit best done in private. You can't change what happened. But you can continue in spite of it.
So be kind to yourself... knock that phone off, chalk it up to experience and consider the possibility that many shit things occurred together so your wiser now and can prepare for round two.
The reasons motivating you towards this line of work will still be there, no doubt, so It's too soon to give up!
Good luck x
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I do think I would have insisted he took half the money back if it happened to me.
But I really feel for you as this job can be incredibly stressful and mentally draining at times. I sometimes have fantastic weeks where all the clients are lovely and respectful and I hit my target easily. But I have just as many weeks where the phone barely rings, clients are all horrible and rude, and I just hate everything about the business. It’s swings and roundabouts and it’s important to make time for self care every day to avoid burn out x
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I'm sorry but some of these comments are unbelievably harsh and not exactly supportive, to say the least!!
Just because your first day didn't go to plan, it is absolute rubbish that this suddenly means it's not for you. Everyone has bad points in any job and that doesn't mean that it isn't for them.
I've been doing this 3 years this month, I did my first tour last month and barely slept for 2 days before cause I was so nervous and I was whittling all day on the day too whilst travelling to the hotel. But guess what? It all turned out fine, it was really successful.
Bad days happen.
If my first day had gone like yours had, I would have also been panicking and on edge. It sounds like a lot of things don't go to plan, it didn't go anywhere nearly as smoothly as it could have done and it set you off to a bad start.
Every now and again I get stressed about this job too. It's life. Pick yourself up, keep riding the wave and things will get easier as you go along.
If after a couple of weeks or so, you can't get into it and you're really struggling still, maybe then you should consider whether it is or isn't for you. I think the fact that you came on here to speak about what happened just goes to show that you're fully capable of giving it another go. Don't let people discourage you xxx
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Just because your first day didn't go to plan, it is absolute rubbish that this suddenly means it's not for you. Everyone has bad points in any job and that doesn't mean that it isn't for them.
Bad days happen.
I think the fact that you came on here to speak about what happened just goes to show that you're fully capable of giving it another go.
Exactly all of that. :)
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I agree with some that say you should not give up on just the 1 day as this job is not exactly normal and takes guts to do what we do and takes time to adjust to what you are actually doing being a prostitute it took me ages to accept i was doing this type of thing but what i would say give yourself a week and then see how you feel? It might not be for you but giving it a few attempts will give it a fair ran.
But do be prepared for a up and down ride some coulds go well and earn well others will eventually be days where tossers are on the phone and fake deliberate bookings.
Even now i have days when i feel good and then have a bad lot of pisstakers or a look n go especially one talking pervy even trying to grope then i want to lose it either punch them or quit.
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Wholeheartedly agree with the positive comments on here and numerous examples of bad days. This job is like any other; good days and bad days. Sometimes it rolls into good weeks and bad weeks.
You cried because you dealt with an overwhelming amount of unfortunate things happen on your first day. I was lucky, my first day was brilliant. But I did deal with a lot of what you dealt with in regards to TWs, I still do now but I don't even notice it anymore and it certainly doesn't affect me in the way that it did.
You will get used to these aspects, or you'd better had if you want to stick with this job because they will never go away. Things happen in hotels all the time; I once had my room assigned to 3 other sets of guests during a stay; I nearly caused the old dear a heart attack when she walked in to see me pegging a guy!
Pick yourself back up, become fairly strict in who you will and won't see and you will find things to a little smoother.
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About a week before I went to Belfast I put an ad up. By the time I arrived I had sussed out most of the time wasters and already blocked them. Think this would be a good tactic for newbies when they start off.
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Only been doing this three months and I haven't blocked anyone just because I want to see them so I know who to avoid, if that makes sense? I just blank their calls instead.
Not sure if I'm doing the right thing or not but that's my current position on blocking.
Anyone else feel the same?
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Only been doing this three months and I haven't blocked anyone just because I want to see them so I know who to avoid, if that makes sense? I just blank their calls instead.
Not sure if I'm doing the right thing or not but that's my current position on blocking.
Anyone else feel the same?
Yes I did this when I started. However there have been a few guys who have repeatedly called me over and over so I block them as otherwise they'll be preventing genuine callers getting through.
I go through periods where I block texts from idiots "u workin" "postcode" and the like and then others where I just ignore those texts.
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NO NEVER! Im just a hard faced bitch haha but OP days like that happen somtimes even worse... like u book the wrong dates for the hotel..argue with staff and then like a tw*t realise its your fault! But u have to chin up and carry on.. once you get into the flow of things you will realise these things are just minor..and u will have days where you have easy nice clients and you make so much money that you will think WOW i love this job.
P.s i would have rang the hotel manager and given him an ear full for allowing someone with a card to enter the room. That is bang out of order.. i once stayed in a hotel where staff routinely knocked on the doors every couple of hours to see if my stay was 'okay' and if there was anything i needed. I rang the manager and word for word said 'can your fucking staff stop disturbing me as ive come here to relax, not to be constantlyl harrased by hotel staff and if i bloody need anything i will ask for it'!!! They stopped knocking after that ;D
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. like u book the wrong dates for the hotel..
I did this once, booked for the week previous by mistake, paid for an additional 3 days when I arrived and the staff told meif my mistake, then took extremely unwell and couldn't work at all. One of the largest losses I have made in the space of one week :(
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FIRSTLY... I want to say thank you for all your replies!
Honestly I thought I would receive a large handful of negative replies, but I really appreciate both the positive and negative.
I knew a major thing people would say is .. 'Are you sure this is for you'.
I feel a lot better after reading everyones comments. I will not give up just yet and I will see how the next client goes! And if that goes 'tits up' I know that escorting is not for me just yet!
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FIRSTLY... I want to say thank you for all your replies!
Bless. I think some people here have forgotten what it was like being new (and have never worked in Birmingham).
If I'd just arrived at a hotel in one of the places on the Timewaster Central circuit to have some random walk into my room when I was barely dressed, and then had the bloody manager at the door interrogating me about my personal details in front of a punter I think I would have packed up and gone home, or at the very least sacked it for the rest of the day. And I'm far from new ;D
I'm late to the party but it sounds like a baptism of fire to say the least, and I very much doubt it'll be that bad again. As for crying in front of a punter we have threads here where people have bled, vomited and pooped on them at one time or another - yours ought to think himself lucky :D.
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Bless. I think some people here have forgotten what it was like being new (and have never worked in Birmingham).
If I'd just arrived at a hotel in one of the places on the Timewaster Central circuit to have some random walk into my room when I was barely dressed, and then had the bloody manager at the door interrogating me about my personal details in front of a punter I think I would have packed up and gone home, or at the very least sacked it for the rest of the day. And I'm far from new ;D
I'm late to the party but it sounds like a baptism of fire to say the least, and I very much doubt it'll be that bad again. As for crying in front of a punter we have threads here where people have bled, vomited and pooped on them at one time or another - yours ought to think himself lucky :D.
this x23883447847!
and also, it would be worth some of the other posters here bearing in mind that not everybody who goes into sex work has much of a choice. many of us 'chose' it because it was the last option. and without knowing the OP's situation, it's very unhelpful to say 'this job isn't for you' when it could be her only option right now. We all have to keep the roof over our heads and whilst in a perfect world we'd all enjoy our jobs, that just isn't the case. i often find it difficult, frustrating, gross, frightening and i chose it because it was this, or destitution/homelessness. There are things i like about it - the money, being my own boss, a VERY small handful of my clients - But it's my only option right now, so I make the best of it. Imagine if the OP was in a situation like that and she came here to be told that she shouldn't be doing it at all?
OP, well done for getting through what sounds like a nightmare first day!
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this x23883447847!
and also, it would be worth some of the other posters here bearing in mind that not everybody who goes into sex work has much of a choice. many of us 'chose' it because it was the last option. and without knowing the OP's situation, it's very unhelpful to say 'this job isn't for you' when it could be her only option right now. We all have to keep the roof over our heads and whilst in a perfect world we'd all enjoy our jobs, that just isn't the case. i often find it difficult, frustrating, gross, frightening and i chose it because it was this, or destitution/homelessness. There are things i like about it - the money, being my own boss, a VERY small handful of my clients - But it's my only option right now, so I make the best of it. Imagine if the OP was in a situation like that and she came here to be told that she shouldn't be doing it at all?
OP, well done for getting through what sounds like a nightmare first day!
This!
I agree was in similar situation. It was this or be homeless.. when i first started i used to feel physically sick after each booking thinking wtfff am i doing but had no oprion.
Over time i learned to switch off this part of my life when im at home. Op its tough for most of us in the beggining but you will adjust to it.
Now i go on holiday every few months about to purchase my second home, have nice clothes and lots more, so dont let it put u off x
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Yes all those things can happen from time to time and we may or may not deal with them, but for all that to happen in the beginning is a nightmare. It’s a wonder you didn’t just pack it in then and there. It shows what strength you have and that perhaps you are perfect for the job.
I had a bad client earlier this year, it was horrendous. But after I got through it and had a little cry I thought, great my next client fun filled Bob he’ll cheer me up. But as soon as he walked through the door I burst out crying again, mortifying. He was very understanding and yes he did cheer me up after that. I couldn’t apologise enough though.
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I remember doing this infront of a few clients towards the end of escorting. It was a gradual build up process. Some reminded me what I was missing. Because escorting in my opinion is far from the truth.
Escorting I think is full of much disrespect, look at timewasters and rude ones over the phone. Not forgetting about the ones who slip through the net.
Some escorting suits, others not. Escorting can make us feel forfilled then eat away at our soul bit by bit. The strong ones seem to be immune.
There are other options if not happy.
I was there.
Now I am thriving with my love who knew about escorting. He wasn't a client though. I kept to my wishes.
Two concepts ''Living in Sain''or 'Insanity''.
A large proportion of clients will not all of a sudden be kind unfortunetly. Never in the escort world.
To me it is like looking to buy a loaf of bread in a hardware store.
I do wish other escorts well.
Xx.
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Hi Hun,
Tbh it does sound like you has a stressyday ...and actually that would have stressed me out !
I cried on my first booking ...it’s a new experience...the build up to it alone can be overwhelming and your first day didn’t go as smoothly as you would have liked lol. Some days are like this but others are great days ... rough with the smooth :) but that was 17 years and I love my love my life style and I’m glad I stayed in the game . Don’t get me wrong I have had and do get burn out but Iv learned to read my self and run my bookings the way tht I can mentally cope with.
Warm wishes Hun. X
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This is a tough job.
I have a very emotional home and personal life and I’ve broken down on a client however it happens to be a long term regular I’ve been away with and I’m still in the 1st year.
Tips:
Always always always check to see if a hotels workable
Time wasters all happen, deposits help.
Don’t set up straight away, put things in draws until work (I’ve had house keeping let themselves in)
Make friends in the industry it’s a long ass job, draining and highly isolating.
Message me if you need anything! Xxx
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Bless your heart. I cried a lot as a newbie too. Not infront of clients but privately.
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I have yet to have my first booking, really hope I don't cry. Read a few old threads from here about first bookings so hoping mine will be ok.
Sending hugs xx
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If it makes you feel any better I have been drunk in front of clients on more than one occasion (one of these I broke the tv doing a backflip in the clients bedroom...) I have also handcuffed a client and been unable to get him out
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Don't beat yourself up about it. The first few weeks your emotions will be running wild. I remember my first day at it. My first client treated me like I was a piece of shit on the bottom of his shoe. The second had me in a head lock. 2 years down the line I'm loving it. If your still feeling really emotional a month or so down the line you may want to rethink your occupation but it'll take a while for it to become the norm in your head. As you become more experienced as an escourt you'll think of other ways to make things less stressful but theost important thing is to learn from your mistake and don't make the same mistake again. All those issues you've had are surly going to reappear regularly but you will soon get used to it. Chin up chick! Xx
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If it makes you feel any better I have been drunk in front of clients on more than one occasion (one of these I broke the tv doing a backflip in the clients bedroom...) I have also handcuffed a client and been unable to get him out
This reply should probably go into the funniest booking section but one sub client who let me handcuff him (I have heavy duty ones) started being a pain so I pretended for a short while that the key was broken in the lock.
He was starting to panic and had no idea there is a quick release mechanism on the cuffs which don't require the key. His face was a picture though.
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Give it another go, tomorrow is always another day I say! You'll quickly realise if you can deal putting yourself through this xx
Best of luck to you also make sure you vet the guys and use your gut instinct with each guy that rings you :-*
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Really glad that some of you decided to input some positivity into this thread. When I first started I had a few girls say the same thing to me - "Are you sure escorting is for you?" I find that rather condensing and patronising for anyone to say that, moreso when its to a newb! 3 years on and Im still in the biz ;D
Ive cried in front of a client. It was within the first couple of months and I cried because he flipped his switch when the alarm went off lol - prior to that we were having a really nice time but I was upset that I upset him (which makes me human, right?). He also had the cheek to tell me that he didnt think I was strong enough to last in the biz!
“Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place and I don't care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard ya hit. It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done!”
― Sylvester Stallone, Rocky Balboa