Hello MEQR!
This is SUCH a difficult one. Just a background on my own situ, and then I will tell you why what you have described above made me a bit "hmmmmmm".
I have been seeing an ex-client for nearly 18 months now
and I want to marry the bugger. We met in 2008, he was my client for about 2 months, then he went away for a month for work, and we kept in touch through my initiation. When he came back he started only wanting to go for coffee and football matches and stuff. I was a bit bewildered, but also kind of pleased because I fancied the pants off of him and didn't like having sex with him for money. I also like football and coffee, so bonus really.
I was INCREDIBLY wary about the whole thing. I was certain he was after hot sexy sex with an escort, and I was really torn in two about what to do. I came on here for advice too!
My mind was made up when he bought me a simple understated valentines card and just stood there with an embarrassed grin on his face. It felt completely different to the times on valentines day that I had had big lavish bunches of roses or cases of wine arrive from clients when were a bit unstable (these instances had scared me a bit to be honest). With him, this little card with one line written in it and a blushing, sweating man an standing at my door looking like he was about to leg it through embarrassment left me as embarrassed as he was, but chuffed. I invited him in for a snog and a cuppa, and he left.
I then made him wait about 2 months before jumping in the sack
and bless him he never pushed it! We had a proper old fashioned dating period (which was bizarre when we both knew how much we enjoyed shagging one another, ha!) but it worked this way. It was TOTALLY different to how it had been as client-escort when we did eventually.
All the while, he knew I was working, and would say "text me when you get in so I know you're safe" and nothing more, which he still does now.
It hasn't all been a bed of roses, we argue about so many normal mundane things we are like an old married bickering couple. I do know however that ALL of these bickerings the normal sorts of arguments that couples have, and not in the slightest related to escorting. I know his faults, he knows mine- being in the kind of relationship where he knows I have sex for money and he has paid for sex (and god, paid me for sex, awkward!), means that very quickly you kind of have nothing to hide and can be honest to the most brutal degree, which as we all know having dealt with client after client saying "we don't talk anymore" about their wife, it is VERY important to be able to keep the communication flowing!
*Sappy bit alert* (ladies of a rolling eye nature, please look away now): We have taught each other how to compromise. We have learned that despite difficulties, when you've got it good it is worth working at. *Soppy bit over*
And to those of you who have said "he is using you" to me on many an occasion - 18 months on, when I have my cushion throwing, dinner on the floor dropping and storming off to broody PMT episodes, he reminds me "I hope this proves to you that I am not in it for the escort reason. I could have a LOT less hassle going and paying for someone, but I don't I stick around for this because I bloody love you!!" and although I am fuming about something insignificant at the time, I kinda like hearing this. He knows how to find sex quickly, and can afford it, and so me being Grump Queen and him still sticking around is the best proof I have that he isn't just in it for sex with a Sexay Lay-dee.
And the difference betweeen him and clients I am fond of? I am fond of them. I like them, I enjoy spending time with them. The two BIGGEST differences- 1)the sex with them is not me. It is me in a role, serving them and their wants and desires. It can be sexy, but it is never, ever intimate. 2)I would miss their money if they ever stopped being a client. With my man, I didn't think about losing the money I made from him as a client for a second.
RIGHT
After that ramble. Your situation!
At the end of the day, I don't believe that it is NEVER the case that you can meet someone on this job and like each other (obviously!) BUT I do believe that you are likely to be The Perfect Woman in about 500 men's eyes, becuase they fall for the escort you, which is of course one hour of brilliant, sexy, cute actress. They don't know the real you.
Having tried to get to meet you without paying from the very first phonecall made me think "hmmmmmm" about your guy here. Maybe it means that he doesn't want to taint what could be a relationship with paid for sex. Maybe. Or maybe it means that he does this a lot with escorts on the first phone call because he thinks if he does it enough, he will meet someone who he thinks is Sexay Lay-dee because she is an escort.
The fact that you have spent some time together without sex is a good sign. But a week isn't long!!! A week is not enough time to get to know someone, it is enough time for our hormones to have a good confusing swim in our heads, and nothing more really. We are talking a good month to make someone we really like wait so we know he likes us, and at least 2 for this man who has approached you in the way he has! At least.
I know I am here on my ivory tower after what I have just described above, but if I have only one piece of advice, it is TAKE THINGS SLOWLY. Test him gently. Say you can't see him when you have already arranged a date together because you have a booking. See how he reacts. Arrange to meet him after a day of bookings and then don't do anything in the slightest bit sexual with him. See if he is fine with it or gets huffy. If he gets huffy, ask him why. You have nothing to lose being totally up front and honest, but you have a lot to lose by ignoring the "how you met bit of this situation.
He needs to prove two things: 1) that he hasn't cherry picked himself an escort so he can get free sex with her, and 2) that he understands you are a Real Person who acts a role at work, and that he sure as hell ain't getting an escort as a potential partner. He is getting a woman who is an escort for other men. Not him.
The first thing I would suggest. Go for a cuppa, sit down, and tell him all of the reasons this rings alarm bells with you. He wants a free shag with an escort being the biggest alarm bell I hope! See how he responds. Is he happy to talk about this very awkward set of issues? What does he say in response to it? If he can have a proper, grown up and level conversation about this, then you are onto a good start. And then take it so slowly that he gets bored if all he is after is free sex. If he is after the real you, he will wait til flippin' christmas.
Sorry about The Longest Post In History, but this is a tricky one and I wanted to give both sides.
Topic: Is is possible to meet someone special from escorting??? This is soo strange.. (Read 4818 times)