Text received - I'd like to book an hour for gfe. Im really good with my tongue and fingers and will make you cum loads.

Me - yep, thats fine but i never cum with clients. I can put on a good act though if you want?

Silence

I wasnt in a very good mood that day lol

Text received-Can I come and see you. I have a really huge dick that all the ladies love.

My response-Recent survey shows that 8 out 10 prozzies prefer small ones.

Text received-Is that you in the picture?

I reply-No. I used someone else's picture because I look like Anne Widdecombe.

Text received-Can I come and see you. I have a really huge dick that all the ladies love.

My response-Recent survey shows that 8 out 10 prozzies prefer small ones.

 

Text received-Are you good at what you do?

My response-No, I'm shite!

Lol!I've had similar on the phone.
'Will you give me a good bj?'
'Sorry fresh out of good ones,just doing crap ones today'.

'Do you do watersports?'
'Yes on Watersports Wednesdays.Today it's Forced feminisation Friday does that interest you?'

'What can I get for 30?'
'A weeks shop at Aldi'

I loved all the replies to far, but this one made me LOL properly!

Any chance of a discount?

Just buy a porn DVD.

Him..(Very blunt with no introduction) Where are you?

Me...Me? I'm in the kitchen on the phone talking to you.

(long silence and then a click)