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Author Topic: How not to book an escort,world championships!  (Read 2595168 times)

Coty

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #3510 on: 10 October 2012, 01:15:10 am »
I had a guy always sending me poems by text though I've never met him. I use to reply but got bored and since ignoring they're not as frequent, but still get about one a month! lol YAWNNNN
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Little_Miss_Misanthropy

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #3511 on: 10 October 2012, 01:26:54 am »
Quote from: ChrissieDavaar on 10 October 2012, 12:39:27 am


He should try writing fan-fiction, majority of the writers can't be bothered to spell or use grammar correctly.

True; but Sirius Black always shags someone so it's better than Mills and Boon....

I got a message today 'Babe I'm hard' - sorry wtf?!

'ooh yeah do me now with your giant hard penis'...

no actually,

'?130 incalls, ?150 outcalls - message me when the blood starts circulating to your brain'.
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amy

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #3512 on: 10 October 2012, 01:50:00 am »
Quote from: Little Miss Misanthropy on 10 October 2012, 01:26:54 am
I got a message today 'Babe I'm hard' - sorry wtf?!

'ooh yeah do me now with your giant hard penis'...


I reply to dreck like that with 'Who are you, and why are you texting my husband?' ;D

I think it's one of Amanda's.
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Friday

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #3513 on: 10 October 2012, 10:56:09 am »
Quote from: ChrissieDavaar on 10 October 2012, 12:39:27 am

He should try writing fan-fiction, majority of the writers can't be bothered to spell or use grammar correctly.

When I used to do just phones years ago I used to have this guy phone me who read to me his "erotica". Very much Chistian Grey type and it was totally shit, so boring! Yes good for me nice long calls but I stuggled to keep my eyes open  ;D
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Escort38

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #3514 on: 10 October 2012, 11:20:50 am »
I am sure I missed out on the booking of a lifetime last night!

Text message:

"hey girl!"

I could hardly sleep for dreaming of how wonderful this man probably is.

 ??? ::) ???

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Caledonia

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #3515 on: 10 October 2012, 11:28:01 am »
Quote from: Little Miss Misanthropy on 10 October 2012, 01:26:54 am
Quote from: ChrissieDavaar on 10 October 2012, 12:39:27 am


He should try writing fan-fiction, majority of the writers can't be bothered to spell or use grammar correctly.

True; but Sirius Black always shags someone so it's better than Mills and Boon....

I got a message today 'Babe I'm hard' - sorry wtf?!

'ooh yeah do me now with your giant hard penis'...

no actually,

'?130 incalls, ?150 outcalls - message me when the blood starts circulating to your brain'.

Im actually addicted to fan-fiction lol, has to be slash (m/m) though.

Just had this classic "U Free?"
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Green Carnation

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #3516 on: 10 October 2012, 03:01:21 pm »
I have a regural who is a complete mess, i'm not sure if any of you would put up with things this guy does (wants to arrange an appointment, then makes up a story about a broken car, angry boss, unexpected client,an earthquake- you name it). I never take him seriously, and always assume that he will cancel, so never plan anything around him-if he turns up he turns up. But when i do finally see him, he seems really nice and apologetic.
Anyway, this time he just crossed the line- he arranged to meet me, and also suggested we should go for lunch beforehand, to my local pub, as he described 'on him'. That's fine by me, i didn't have anything better to do, and a free lunch is always good.
He then texted me 'i am 10 minutes away, but just remembered that my credit card isn't working. I don't have any cash. Should we risk it and see what happens?'
I replied 'just forget it'
I am not sure howhe was going to pay ME, apart from the lunch bill, if he didn't have any cash?
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Nora batty

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #3517 on: 10 October 2012, 04:44:11 pm »
stallionm (0) Profile Block    07/01/2012 21:30    Mark b 31/12/2011 00:00-23:30 on 44860000XX   In-Call    10 hour(s)    0 EUR          
   i order you to meet me on this date in limerick. I also order you to arrange the place to stay and to contact me when you have done so. Please be quick about it and i order you to contact me back on the 31st to confirm. Do not dissapoint me in anyway.

fake number, wants it free and orders me to not dissappoint him lol.

i just love a bossy man with a fake booking.  oh i missed out big time  ::)
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sarahyorks

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #3518 on: 10 October 2012, 11:09:08 pm »
Just seen this reverse booking:

Please read carefully before bidding. I am seeking unprotected services, if you do not offer such services please do not bid (or waste your time and mine by commenting).

Price indicated includes any travel fee and I am happy to book rail or air in advance for you if you have 10 or more positive feedback in the last 6 months for escorting.

I am seeking a slim woman, max size 12 and preferrably busty, who is prepared to offer the following services.

* all unprotected porn star experience
* anal
* you will be submissive for some mild rough play
* travel to me dressed in fetish wear (latex, leather with extreme high heels etc)
* unlimited photography for personal use (although not more than 10 or so pics, probably)

You should be a fluent English speaker and your bid should include an acceptance of all the criteria. Empty bids are likely to be ignored.

Note, date is flexible. I can do 15th, 16th, 17th or 18th.

All this can be yours for ?1000 ladies
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Little_Miss_Misanthropy

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #3519 on: 10 October 2012, 11:19:04 pm »
My message of the night is from someone who messaged me claiming he's 'only ever had sex once' - yet has been a member of AW for 4 years (no feedback).

If he turns up I'll donate any money given to the nearest homeless person I see (which come the end of the month will be me if I look in a mirror ;D)
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strawberry

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #3520 on: 11 October 2012, 08:55:12 am »
Quote from: Little Miss Misanthropy on 10 October 2012, 11:19:04 pm
My message of the night is from someone who messaged me claiming he's 'only ever had sex once' - yet has been a member of AW for 4 years (no feedback).

If he turns up I'll donate any money given to the nearest homeless person I see (which come the end of the month will be me if I look in a mirror ;D)

Some men do spend years looking at profiles before taking the plunge.
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orchidperfume

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #3521 on: 11 October 2012, 10:28:17 am »
Quote from: sarahyorks on 10 October 2012, 11:09:08 pm
Just seen this reverse booking:

Please read carefully before bidding. I am seeking unprotected services, if you do not offer such services please do not bid (or waste your time and mine by commenting).

Price indicated includes any travel fee and I am happy to book rail or air in advance for you if you have 10 or more positive feedback in the last 6 months for escorting.

I am seeking a slim woman, max size 12 and preferrably busty, who is prepared to offer the following services.

* all unprotected porn star experience
* anal
* you will be submissive for some mild rough play
* travel to me dressed in fetish wear (latex, leather with extreme high heels etc)
* unlimited photography for personal use (although not more than 10 or so pics, probably)

You should be a fluent English speaker and your bid should include an acceptance of all the criteria. Empty bids are likely to be ignored.

Note, date is flexible. I can do 15th, 16th, 17th or 18th.

All this can be yours for ?1000 ladies

Hey Sarah I bet he didnt get too many bids !!!
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Friday

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #3522 on: 11 October 2012, 12:00:59 pm »
Quote from: orchidperfume on 11 October 2012, 10:28:17 am

Hey Sarah I bet he didnt get too many bids !!!

I bet he does! some girls just dont read the details lol  ::)
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sarahyorks

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #3523 on: 11 October 2012, 05:08:01 pm »
Quote from: Friday on 11 October 2012, 12:00:59 pm
Quote from: orchidperfume on 11 October 2012, 10:28:17 am

Hey Sarah I bet he didnt get too many bids !!!

I bet he does! some girls just dont read the details lol  ::)


Just checked, he's got 3!
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Liverbird

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #3524 on: 11 October 2012, 09:10:55 pm »
Quote
Posted by: ChrissieDavaar
? on: October 10, 2012, 11:28:01 AM ? Insert Quote  Im actually addicted to fan-fiction lol, has to be slash (m/m) though.

Try 'Literotica' ;) I've had many a wild, wet fantasy reading the stories on this site :o
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