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Author Topic: How not to book an escort,world championships!  (Read 2599221 times)

Coty

  • Guest
Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #3150 on: 09 August 2012, 09:26:32 pm »
I think the school boys are out in force this week:-)

Hi Miss

Im a 25 year old lad looking for some experience with a mature women (I
prefer mature women)

I want you to be my sex tutor or my mummy, I believe these lessons take a
while and the more lessons the better.

I have erections quite a lot and am always hard in the morning. I also
masturbate alot to porn. but want someone to teach me sex and be more
confident.

Hold me by the hand, take me up too your room. Teach me how to take your
clothes off, including your bra and knickers...teach me how to suck your
tits and play with them making sure I do it correctly.

You can give me oral and show me how women should give oral sex.

Teach me how to use my penis on you, show me how to have
intercourse..making sure I push it in good and correctly making you moan
and groan in pleasure.

We can try lots of positions, teach me them (my favourite is doggy, having
you bent of the table or desk and me holding you by the hips and doing you
from behind)

Please Miss, teach me how to fuck that pussy reall good just the way it
should be done! Help me I need the experience?

Looking forward to your reply.
-----------------------------------------------------------------

Bet you are! LOL You're gonna have a long wait!!

orchidperfume

  • Guest
Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #3151 on: 09 August 2012, 10:35:38 pm »
Hi Miss



I want you to be my sex tutor or my mummy, I believe these lessons take a while and the more lessons the better.

I have erections quite a lot and am always hard in the morning. I also masturbate alot to porn. but want someone to teach me sex and be more confident.

Hold me by the hand, take me up too your room. Teach me how to take your clothes off, including your bra and knickers...teach me how to suck your tits and play with them making sure I do it correctly.

You can give me oral and show me how women should give oral sex.

Teach me how to use my penis on you, show me how to have intercourse..making sure I push it in good and correctly making you moan and groan in pleasure.



Please Miss, teach me how to fuck that pussy reall good just the way it should be done! Help me I need the experience?

Looking forward to your reply.

he was blocked whilst waiting for his reply  !!!
« Last Edit: 09 August 2012, 10:52:49 pm by orchidperfume »

reneesme

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 96
Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #3152 on: 10 August 2012, 12:27:28 am »
" oh hi there, sorry to bother you but are you open?"

not the first time this has been said to me, why oh why do men ask that?

Vampera

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 80
Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #3153 on: 10 August 2012, 08:13:03 am »
I think the school boys are out in force this week:-)

Hi Miss

Im a 25 year old lad looking for some experience with a mature women (I
prefer mature women)

I want you to be my sex tutor or my mummy, I believe these lessons take a
while and the more lessons the better.

I have erections quite a lot and am always hard in the morning. I also
masturbate alot to porn. but want someone to teach me sex and be more
confident.

Hold me by the hand, take me up too your room. Teach me how to take your
clothes off, including your bra and knickers...teach me how to suck your
tits and play with them making sure I do it correctly.

You can give me oral and show me how women should give oral sex.

Teach me how to use my penis on you, show me how to have
intercourse..making sure I push it in good and correctly making you moan
and groan in pleasure.

We can try lots of positions, teach me them (my favourite is doggy, having
you bent of the table or desk and me holding you by the hips and doing you
from behind)

Please Miss, teach me how to fuck that pussy reall good just the way it
should be done! Help me I need the experience?

Looking forward to your reply.
-----------------------------------------------------------------

Bet you are! LOL You're gonna have a long wait!!

I had the exact same Email Coty!!  I've had him before.....I felt like replying "Well you clearly haven't read my Profile" and "Go and grow up"....but I didn't.....I couldn't be bothered to dignify his crappy Email with a Reply....

Swim The Warm Waters of Sins
Of The Flesh (Rocky Horror)

Vampera

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 80
Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #3154 on: 10 August 2012, 08:15:18 am »
" oh hi there, sorry to bother you but are you open?"

not the first time this has been said to me, why oh why do men ask that?

I often have Guys asking me this on the Phone....my usual response is "Well my legs are open but I'm not a brothel so I don't have opening hours!!"....they usually laugh at that, rather nervously...LoL....

But yes, it annoys me too....Why oh why dont guys read our Profiles and realise that I'm an Independent Escort and don't have "opening hours".... :FF
Swim The Warm Waters of Sins
Of The Flesh (Rocky Horror)

pandora

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 919
    • Pandora
Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #3155 on: 10 August 2012, 08:59:14 am »
Get a callfor a booking on Saturday evening and I asked him what time he wanted.

"Well me and my mate are going for a few beers then we wanna come round and HAVE A GO ON a mature woman".

I think not.

CatsEyes

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 31
Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #3156 on: 10 August 2012, 12:13:51 pm »
Get a callfor a booking on Saturday evening and I asked him what time he wanted.

"Well me and my mate are going for a few beers then we wanna come round and HAVE A GO ON a mature woman".

I think not.

 :-X

VioletteUK

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 499
    • Cassandra Deville
Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #3157 on: 10 August 2012, 01:06:41 pm »
Get a callfor a booking on Saturday evening and I asked him what time he wanted.

"Well me and my mate are going for a few beers then we wanna come round and HAVE A GO ON a mature woman".

I think not.
Definitely not breast feed!  :FF
Follow me on Twitter @JezebelSt

foreign affairs

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 210
Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #3158 on: 10 August 2012, 01:31:50 pm »
Text:   Anychance of a blowjob for twenty euro? 
         
          Send from my HTC

 Tight ass has smartphone but wants dirt cheap ::)

Text: Will you do 15 min
   
Text: Hi A.... i will visit you in L......  .can you text me a picture of your pussy ;D

         Yeah,I have nothing better to do Wanker ::)

         




amy

  • Administrator
  • Sr. Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 15,555
Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #3159 on: 10 August 2012, 02:53:40 pm »
This morning...

Text knob: hi amy wud u do bear bk?
Me: I don't understand. Are you a bear?
Text knob: no I am sterilized and clean also
Me: Fuck off

I wasn't in the mood for eloquence. What a tit.

Coty

  • Guest
Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #3160 on: 10 August 2012, 03:43:18 pm »
This morning...

Text knob: hi amy wud u do bear bk?
Me: I don't understand. Are you a bear?
Text knob: no I am sterilized and clean also
Me: Fuck off

I wasn't in the mood for eloquence. What a tit.

But at least you got another thing to post on this thread! lol

VioletteUK

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 499
    • Cassandra Deville
Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #3161 on: 11 August 2012, 10:52:51 am »
Early morning idiot calls 6 bloody 30 in the morning. Normally I am up, but today not feeling so frisky. He wants to chat! The abuse I hurled down the phone, will prevent him from doing that shit again anytime soon.  :FF
Follow me on Twitter @JezebelSt

Escort38

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 311
Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #3162 on: 11 August 2012, 11:50:34 am »
by text - "u wrkn?"

Naturally I replied with an in depth description of all my services and told him
I am hot and horny and have juicy big tits, not forgetting my availability to suit him
and telling him I was sitting waiting for his booking and could not wait to ravish him.

 ;D

Lexi

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 97
Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #3163 on: 11 August 2012, 09:05:34 pm »
Hahahah Escort38 you literally made me laugh out loud at that! I bet he was expecting that response as well ;D

natasha

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 195
Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #3164 on: 12 August 2012, 02:29:47 pm »
Does this guy think I am Hercules?

Hi, I am looking to meet someone fairly local to me, who would be willing to help me with a fantasy of mine. I wish to be treated like a bra or panty. You would wear me instead of a bra or panty. I would be underneath your outer clothing. If you would wear me while doing something else it would be even better. Im not worried what you do it can be anything you like. I would also like to suck your breasts while Im with you. If our meet goes well I would like to meet again for more of the same and maybe you can wash me with your other underwear. Maybe you could keep me in your drawer with the other bras or panties sometime too.

If you are willing to try the above please let me know and I will arrange to visit you in the next week or so.

Thanks for your time, I hope to hear from you.

I would have to go out & buy a smock! :D
Let go of my ears! I know what I'm doing!