Coty you were far more polite than I would have been! Seriously I get the thing about nerves and being new but for Christ?s sake it?s not rocket science is it? ? I wonder if these people are capable of catching a bus or doing the weekly shop at Sainsbury?s?

I received an email from a guy called ?James? a few weeks back asking for bareback (despite it clearly saying on my profile I don?t provide this service). I?m sure this git has texted me the same question in the past too. Anyway his email went something like this...

Hi, love your profile. I would love to meet you. The thing is I find condoms a major turn off. I would love to have sex with you bareback. I would love to shoot in your pussy. I am clean ? I have to be I have a long term girlfriend! ? I?m also very good looking so I know it wouldn?t feel like work for you. Trust me I?m no timewaster, I?m 100% genuine, if you say yes, I will call and book an appointment straightaway. James

My reply...

Granted James you don?t sound like a timewaster but you do sound like an utter c*** so I?m afraid my response is no.

Followed by a block!!!!

  Oh I dooooon't believe it...lol...he actually replied!

ooh I see

Right il shall contact you when I need fun

xx

 
A picnic short of several sandwiches me thinks! lol

What is WRONG with these people - you call them a total f**kwit, and it's water off a duck's back!!!

I need to be more like that, you know? My gran always said 'you're happy when you're mad' and I used to think it was funny. but having watched lots of x factor etc, I realised, I knew what she meant! These deluded types go thru life, unpeturbed by anything, unstressed, without anxiety.... wish I was more like that. My gran was never mad by the way. she was sane to the end of her days - but I now understand what she meant. She also said 'stop the ride, I want to get off' - well, we all know, you can't - can you! Once you're strapped into the rollercoaster, you're in for the duration.

I do in SOME ways admire these utter pillocks for the way they glide through life without ANY acknowledgement of how utterly knobbish they are lol!!! It's a feat really isn't it. Or some part of the brain is shut off where you and I would be thinking 'ooh, what did they think of that, etc' - they just don't have that. Must make life so easy.

I had one over the last weekend I was working:

Saturday daytime:
Are you working today?:
Yes, what time did you wahnt?
8pm
And for how long?
30 mins
yes, that's no problem, what did you want?
oh I want anal
I don't do anal
Well I would want anal
Sorry. I don't do anal (lesson learnt, should have just blocked right here lol!!)

3 days later from same number (when I'm showing on AW as NOT available now, no mobile showing)
Are you working today
No
Who is this?


Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!! Div.

I have a booking on a narrowboat on a canal wtf? he has positive feedback,but I can hardly ask for a landline can I? peeing myself thinking about climbing on a boat in my stockings ha ha

Nothing that unusual about this one...except I just got it through now at almost 1.40am.

Yes sure I'll come out dressed like that...won't look suss at all to the Hotel management!

Subject: Are you free?
-----------------------------------------------------------------
For a cheeky wee outcall to Hilton Kensington?

Would love you to come over in black stockings and suspenders under some
nice sexy business attire with heels. Sexy secretary ;-) let me know if
you can make it and I will call you xxx

Hold me back, ladies! My passion is about to boil over!!

sort a date out lv il cum n see ya

Pmsl

The passion...

The ardour...

The hot, steamy sex...

Your very own Heathcliffe!!!!

Is that the sound of wedding bells I hear? Should I invest in a hat?

Borrowed from a WG friend of mine, I now say in response to "R U FREE?"

 "No, I'm rather expensive."

Lmfao! Well I do 2 for a fiver mate