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Author Topic: How not to book an escort,world championships!  (Read 2594862 times)

ladyjennaj

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1875 on: 16 November 2011, 08:12:58 pm »
Great question today -

'Is your service any good?'

Um....
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NorthernIrishNatalie

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1876 on: 16 November 2011, 10:00:07 pm »
"I don't wanna be forking out ?200 for you both so who's the better looking between you and your mate?"
    "Erm well I am 5.7ft size 12 34B long blonde hair. She's 5.10ft, size 12, 36DD long black hair. So pick what ever you prefer hair colour wise and boob wise."
"Awk don't be giving me that for fucksake, who's the better looking never mind the tits, they all look the same when you're lying down and sure your hairs are all fake these days anyway."
 "Ok well seeing as you rang my phone from my ad you can have me."
"Right a half hour including anal and OWO for ?100?"
 "Eh no. I don't do either as it says all over my profile."
"I'll take your mate then."
     Christ give me strength! Lol.

Another guy following along the same lines asks, "so who's the better ride? who's the skinniest as the skinnier girls can ride better?". Actually mate, not true! Go do your research, grow up and then go and book someone who could listen to your egotistical shite.

Natalie Xx
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More people have been slaughtered in the name of religion than for any other single reason. That, my friends, that is true perversion.

Friday

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1877 on: 17 November 2011, 10:52:46 pm »
Text conversation:

Him : Hi there, are you available for a meet tomorrow?
ME: When and where?
Him: This town
Me: How long for?
Him: how much is 2 hours?
Me: ?200
Him: I'll give you ?140 and drop you off home

eh no thanks?!?!?   :o

your ?60 drop off which naturally wont be at my house so I'll have to walk! is not as appealing as the ?5 taxi?!  ::)
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ladyjennaj

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1878 on: 18 November 2011, 03:36:23 pm »
Quote from: Friday on 17 November 2011, 10:52:46 pm
Text conversation:

Him : Hi there, are you available for a meet tomorrow?
ME: When and where?
Him: This town
Me: How long for?
Him: how much is 2 hours?
Me: ?200
Him: I'll give you ?140 and drop you off home

eh no thanks?!?!?   :o

your ?60 drop off which naturally wont be at my house so I'll have to walk! is not as appealing as the ?5 taxi?!  ::)

OMG! What a cheeky bugger!  :o
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Cat_BBW

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1879 on: 18 November 2011, 08:07:35 pm »
do u like semen? I want u 2 hav all mine xxx


 ::)
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Your Tera

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1880 on: 18 November 2011, 11:43:42 pm »
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 18 November 2011, 08:07:35 pm
do u like semen? I want u 2 hav all mine xxx


 ::)

I think I just threw up a little bit...
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ladyjennaj

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1881 on: 19 November 2011, 12:02:08 am »
Quote from: Cat_BBW on 18 November 2011, 08:07:35 pm
do u like semen? I want u 2 hav all mine xxx


 ::)

Seriously, and they say romance is dead... ::)
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Sarita

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1882 on: 19 November 2011, 01:10:01 am »
Someone left me a voicemail today saying 'I want to shoot my hot spunk all over your big tits. Call me back'. Strangely I didn't bother!
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strawberry

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1883 on: 19 November 2011, 08:41:54 pm »
Couldn't sleep the other night, woke up at something am and turned phone on for some odd reason. Went back to sleep, awoken by phone call at 5am which I let go to VM twice. My VM message advised I don't take calls at this time of night, please call back after 9am in the morning.

Phone beeps again, text message arrives from said caller. Out of curiosity I look.

"What you doin?"
"Sleeping, I don't take calls at this time of night please call back between 9am and 9pm"
"Can you not come to xxxxxx road?"
"Go away, am turning phone off like I say I don't take calls at this time"

Turned phone off.

Turned phone on as usual around 0830, text arrives ten minutes later

"So that's a no?"
"Sorry I don't work in the middle of the night, and it's too short notice I have things lined up for today"
"Bad crack"

Suspect he was on some sort of crack, or at least drunk or perhaps he suffers from insomnia. Reinforced my belief that it isn't a good idea to engage with small hour callers.
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Mellow

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1884 on: 20 November 2011, 11:17:02 am »
Phone call this morning...

Him:  I'm ringing for massage
Me:   Well I'm not a massage specialist
Him:  Do you do deep throat
Me:   If its not on my profile I don't do it

Plenty of guys want me specifically but I get so sick of guys ringing up who havent even read the intro,  (god forbid they read my likes list). 
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NorthernIrishNatalie

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1885 on: 20 November 2011, 12:30:37 pm »
"How much to punch your pussy for an hour" so I reply ?100 a half hour and I punch you in the face for free. Haha.
 Natalie Xx
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More people have been slaughtered in the name of religion than for any other single reason. That, my friends, that is true perversion.

Your Tera

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1886 on: 20 November 2011, 12:39:05 pm »
Quote from: NorthernIrishNatalie on 20 November 2011, 12:30:37 pm
"How much to punch your pussy for an hour" so I reply ?100 a half hour and I punch you in the face for free. Haha.
 Natalie Xx


Perhaps he would have booked if you'd offered to punch him in the family jewels for an hour, as a bonus!!!
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sweet jane

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1887 on: 20 November 2011, 02:00:07 pm »
Quote from: Your Tera on 20 November 2011, 12:39:05 pm
Quote from: NorthernIrishNatalie on 20 November 2011, 12:30:37 pm
"How much to punch your pussy for an hour" so I reply ?100 a half hour and I punch you in the face for free. Haha.
 Natalie Xx


Perhaps he would have booked if you'd offered to punch him in the family jewels for an hour, as a bonus!!!

hell yes! @Your Tera
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sweet jane

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1888 on: 20 November 2011, 02:03:04 pm »
and....WHUT??

email today:Subject: hi (me)
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Hi I require your remarks/opinion on a matter. As you are a mature woman,
an escort and also well experienced which makes you perfect for providing
a remark/opinion. Hunny if you are okay helping with it, can I put my
matter? It wont take you more than 4mins:) :) :)but I?m sorry that I would
not be able to pay or place any booking for it, and your opinion is to be
free, but PLEASE, I would really appreciate it as it would help me loads.
btw u r damn sexy (my name) ;) haha and is that reaaly you? or a fake profile
with a model pics? :/ and (me) by no means u look 47

gawd give me strength, how do people find the time to write such bollox?

pondering the free remarks/opinion I might offer.  ::)
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NorthernIrishNatalie

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1889 on: 20 November 2011, 02:47:47 pm »
Haha I should have said that!! :D
 Natalie Xx
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More people have been slaughtered in the name of religion than for any other single reason. That, my friends, that is true perversion.
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