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Author Topic: How not to book an escort,world championships!  (Read 2594800 times)

Mellow

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1845 on: 09 November 2011, 10:30:35 am »
Yes I wondered how many zillions he had sent that one too!!

Cat_BBW

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1846 on: 09 November 2011, 05:24:45 pm »
Message received just now:

"Book me in ASAP babe"


Wonder if he'd try booking a hotel like that? ???

ladyjennaj

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1847 on: 10 November 2011, 01:46:01 am »
I got this treasure today -

'Hi Jen
I am a male escort looking to treat myself today, are you interested?'

I replied that he was more than welcome to book me, and he replied -

'I thought we'd just hook up. No business, just pleasure. I'm a really good-looking guy and you won't be disappointed...'

 ::)

Coty

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1848 on: 10 November 2011, 10:01:11 am »
I got this treasure today -

'Hi Jen
I am a male escort looking to treat myself today, are you interested?'

I replied that he was more than welcome to book me, and he replied -

'I thought we'd just hook up. No business, just pleasure. I'm a really good-looking guy and you won't be disappointed...'

 ::)

Urgh. I find the so called male escorts are sooo much worse than the worst kind of punter as they are sooooo up themselves. Yuck!

kimba

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1849 on: 10 November 2011, 10:24:17 am »
..and what does he mean by "Treat myself" then? Surely that implies a financial outlay of some kind on his part?

What he should have said was, " I'm looking for an Escort to treat me to a freebie, for no other reason than I will be desirable to her.. "
They think we are all sex-crazed nymphos who yank in the postman by his mailbag when we aren't getting it elsewhere..
Now there's a thought!  ;D

River

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1850 on: 10 November 2011, 01:40:52 pm »
Get sexually turned on by a random stranger without them handing over a pile of ?20's?
Seriously, is that possible? (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-confused002.gif)

Na, impossible. (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-basic/happyno.gif)

ladyjennaj

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1851 on: 10 November 2011, 03:12:43 pm »
Oh and this one today -

Hi, I am a boxer, 27, fit and sexy, with a huge cock. You will fall in luv with me babe. When can I see you?

....right.... :-\

Ellie_e

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1852 on: 10 November 2011, 09:57:19 pm »
with a huge cock. You will fall in luv with me babe.


why do they think our panties will just fall of for a huge cock?!  Don't they think we have enough willies in our lives and that little ones are actually far easier to deal with?!?

sweet jane

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1853 on: 10 November 2011, 10:06:40 pm »
Oh and this one today -

Hi, I am a boxer, 27, fit and sexy, with a huge cock. You will fall in luv with me babe. When can I see you?

....right.... :-\

mwhahaha...oh thank fuck for this thread!


Holly T

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1854 on: 10 November 2011, 10:52:27 pm »
You do seem to get some crazies out there... and Cat, your milk seeking guy make me laugh I'm so glad I wasn't drinking my tea at the time.

Just got this one on AW... I'm just thinking how the hell do I reply to this...

I came in to some money over a year ago and I have been partying rather hard I must admit, heh you only live once...

I like to book the overnight experience and enjoy the Dakota Hotels which are located at South Queensferry Edinburgh and Eurocentral Glasgow, they're very lush.

My plan would be to invite you to join me for a "party" style evening in my room... I would like to make you aware that I really do enjoy the "highs" of the party experience. My preference would be for us both to indulge with my " little white Colombian friend " if you follow my drift? I have been organising such private one on one parties for over a year now so I know what I'm doing. I enjoy meeting new girls and I have partied so far with student types to pornstars all I must confirm very entertaining evenings...

Please confirm to me if you are comfortable with us both enjoying and " indulging " in such a situation?

I really must say I do like your profile, you look so lovely in your pictures...

Look very much forward to hearing from you...


So I got as far as, "Sorry I don't take drugs, I don't drink either. Nor would I consider an overnight booking in a party atmosphere as my safety is of utmost importance to me"  Then I deleted it thinking that I don't think I should bother to reply....

Kitty_of_Herts

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1855 on: 11 November 2011, 10:30:01 am »
Dear "party guy",

As "incredible" as your offer sounds, I can think of much "better" ways to spend my time, such as "washing my hair", "doing the dishes" or "banging my head multiple times against a hard surface".

I am very "sorry" but shall have to "decline". "Apologies".
 
::)

You do seem to get some crazies out there... and Cat, your milk seeking guy make me laugh I'm so glad I wasn't drinking my tea at the time.

Just got this one on AW... I'm just thinking how the hell do I reply to this...

I came in to some money over a year ago and I have been partying rather hard I must admit, heh you only live once...

I like to book the overnight experience and enjoy the Dakota Hotels which are located at South Queensferry Edinburgh and Eurocentral Glasgow, they're very lush.

My plan would be to invite you to join me for a "party" style evening in my room... I would like to make you aware that I really do enjoy the "highs" of the party experience. My preference would be for us both to indulge with my " little white Colombian friend " if you follow my drift? I have been organising such private one on one parties for over a year now so I know what I'm doing. I enjoy meeting new girls and I have partied so far with student types to pornstars all I must confirm very entertaining evenings...

Please confirm to me if you are comfortable with us both enjoying and " indulging " in such a situation?

I really must say I do like your profile, you look so lovely in your pictures...

Look very much forward to hearing from you...


So I got as far as, "Sorry I don't take drugs, I don't drink either. Nor would I consider an overnight booking in a party atmosphere as my safety is of utmost importance to me"  Then I deleted it thinking that I don't think I should bother to reply....

Holly T

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1856 on: 11 November 2011, 04:27:42 pm »
*heavily edited*
HIM: can i get u prgnant
Holy Christ!  :o

My sentiments too... although you could have tried to get a multi-million credit transfer and join the "rich escort mummy group".

In all seriousness... I thought most men are afraid of anything to do with pregnancy, even if it just means being a 'donor'.  *shudders at the thought of conception fetishes*

EmilyJones

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1857 on: 11 November 2011, 07:37:22 pm »
In all seriousness... I thought most men are afraid of anything to do with pregnancy, even if it just means being a 'donor'.  *shudders at the thought of conception fetishes*

It's been theorised that this sort of thing has a basis in a desire to be dominant and controlling. Pregnant women are all fat and vulnerable, particularly with their clingy/emotional hormones zooming around all over the place (bear in mind I'm 25, never been pregnant and, as you might be able to tell, not looking forward to ever experiencing it!) making them basically waddling tear-factories with alarming aversion to certain smells, according to common stereotypes, so to a man who likes his women controllable, the pregnancy thing might appeal. Plus there's the pre-feminism thing where, yanno, women had NO CHOICE AT ALL about when/how to get pregnant and when/if to have children... so someone into that retro male dominance might find pregnant women extra appealing cos of links to that? Who knows? It's interesting, vaguely, but I don't think we'll ever really know. :P
Disclosure: The other person behind yourescortsite.com

chantelheywood

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1858 on: 12 November 2011, 10:34:17 pm »
I had one yesterday on AW:

Subject: I LIKE SEX WITH YOU

i want sex in with you

HUH!?!?

and another today:

subject: quicky car shag

I know u said u dont do in car, im wonderin if ud do it for me?

err no? if i specified i don't do that, don't even ask!  ::)

NorthernIrishNatalie

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1859 on: 13 November 2011, 10:52:53 am »
This forum makes me laugh each post I read. There are some absolute eejits out there.
 I am very prone to receiving texts at stupid o'clock in the morning from young lads high on drugs and clearly from undesirable areas. I really don't know why I attract them. My profile is well written and states I am not into drugs or men who text speak and think they're gangstaa. My duo partner who's profile is badly written and spelt attracts none of this crap. Hhhhmmm.
 Anyway, three weeks at 6.45am.
 Idiot: Sup bbz ne chance iz get a fuck of ye
 Idiot: Mon ova mi huz sxy gat loadsa coke n pills annol
 Idiot then rings and this is the jist of the conversation: FFS luv wize up n stap bein lik dis n we can hav fun mon ova me n seamus r sittin ere on it luvin it
 Me: Sorry but I do not visit anyone who takes drugs and is blatantly advertising that they are on them and offering them.
 Idiot: Awww FFS wee girl mon ni
 ME: Please do not call me untill you have sobered up, washed, found a job and learnt how to speak and spell properly. Goodbye.
 Idiot: Al ring ye tha marra sweetcheeks n ye cum ova n parrttyy wiv us lat
 
Last night on hearing I am going to be back in Belfast for a few days I get the same guy who has been trying to book me for weeks calling me about an appointment tonight.
 Potential client/chancer: Hiya hunni I'm glad to hear you're home for a few days. My Gf is off work at the moment and is available to meet with us tomorrow night. Seeing as we have been meaning to meet for weeks and you haven't been able to you'll see us both for ?100 for the hour won't ya?
 Me: We haven't been able to meet as you last minute canceled the three bookings you'd made with me then on attempting to book again for the another night were informed I had moved to England. So it was not my fault. And besides I charge ?150 per hour for you alone, you're Gf ontop would be ?220.
 
I have had guys offering me xbox's, signed football shirts, pure breed puppies and all sorts instead of a cash payment for my services. The worst I think are guys who book for a half hour and ask if it's ok if they stay over the time. A few minutes I am not going to overally grumble about but when they say how about I stay an extra 20 minutes plus. Oh pleasseeeee. How about I cut your booking short by 20 minutes. Nope thought not.
    Natalie Xx
More people have been slaughtered in the name of religion than for any other single reason. That, my friends, that is true perversion.