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Author Topic: How not to book an escort,world championships!  (Read 2594807 times)

Coty

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1800 on: 25 October 2011, 04:17:09 pm »
I genuinely had a call yesterday from a client:

Him: Do you do roleplay?
Me: Yes, it's right there on my AW profile.
Him: So if say I asked you to dress up like a native American, like cowboys and Indians....
Me:   ??? Um....sure (I start to wonder where the hell I'd get attire like that) anything particular of that sort?
Him: Oh the usual, head dress, feathers, facepaint.

I hope he doesn't want to do some sort of friggin' ritual.
 Just call me Pocahontas

LMAO...my ex husband use to like me dressing up like a cave woman!!! God knows how they get off on these things!

NEWGIRL

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1801 on: 25 October 2011, 04:21:39 pm »
It was the filling all your holes that made me URGH...5 and 7 men bbing you everywhere for ?200...bargain! NOT!

I know... Fucking revolting. Wish I could have thought of a witty reply - but I thought block would be less painful for me...

Coty

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1802 on: 25 October 2011, 04:36:20 pm »
[quote author=NEWGIRL link=topic=1637.msg56128#msg56128 date=1319556099

I know... Fucking revolting. Wish I could have thought of a witty reply - but I thought block would be less painful for me...
[/quote]

Best thing to do...not worth getting into a message war.
Porn has a lot to answer for! Really surprises me how men think it's 'real'.


AngelEyes

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    • luscious lorissa
Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1803 on: 25 October 2011, 05:44:39 pm »
Last night as I was about to rurn off my phone I get this text:

Your ice  needs latent heat. Wtf?????
Switch off phone and then this morning from same number

My cock is going soft.

I must see you urgently for warming up???
Yeah, in your nightmares ;D


Today I get a booking for 5pm for an hour. Okay great so I give address and go and get ready. Stupid idiot texts me five mins before start time and I am of course  putting final touches to getting ready. So I then  get out  my phone and see messages. Tell him to call; he rings and says I never answered his other messages . I tell him that it is best to phone me and five mins before appointment is unreasonable anyway. Grrrrrrrrr

He then sends five more  messages. So I send Kindly phone me to reschedule and show up or stop texting my phone.
Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh




« Last Edit: 27 October 2011, 01:55:19 am by Lorissa Charles »

JennyJazz87

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1804 on: 26 October 2011, 10:52:30 am »
LMAO...my ex husband use to like me dressing up like a cave woman!!! God knows how they get off on these things!

How strange
"The problem with the French is that they don't have a word for entrepreneur!" - George W. Bush

ladyjennaj

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1805 on: 28 October 2011, 02:33:24 pm »
Guy sent me this today -

Hi jenna
I want to see you but need to check you are clean first. do you get regular check-ups from your doctor and sti clinic?


Ummmm...fuck off... :-X

MissThang

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1806 on: 01 November 2011, 03:09:18 am »
Just read Friday's Crazy Greek Man email request and I am sat here, literally crying with laughter!
I've quoted quite a bit of the post, to illustrate that he clearly wants fairly straightforward stuff and can't spell very well.

This ones rather special......

In this point I would like to ask you some things about our time together?..

1) I love giving anal sex. Is that ok? (I have a medium size coc?)
2) I love giving and recievingg oral without condom and I love it when my woman swallows.. Is that ok?
3) 69 is ok with you?
4) I love if you shit on my face and I lick your pussy for a very long time. Is that ok?
5) I loved it when the woman stroke, lick and kiss all my body. Is that ok?
6) Is it ok if Imake the same to you?
7) It make me crazy horny when a woman stroke, lick, kiss and take gently to her mouth my balls. Is that ok with you?
8) Making shower together is ok?
9) Making sex to the shower is ok?
10) Is it ok if we are completely nacked all the time that we are the two of us private?
11) Sub games is ok?
12) I like to be the Master and my woman to be the slave. Is that ok? (No pain things at all)
13) Role playing?
14) I like to tie and tease my woman and I like it when she make the same. Is that ok?
15) Is it ok if I give light spanking? (No pain things at all)
16) Would you do me massage?
17) Would you try to make me striptease?
18) I love doggy. Is that ok?
19) I love spooning sex. Is that ok?
20) But most of the times I like my woman on top (Cowgirl) facing both ways. Is that ok with you?
21) I am smoking. Is that ok with you?
22) Can I make some photo?s of you? (You can keep them if you like or to erase them to the end? I just like making it. I would like to keep them also but if it is a problem it is ok with me?.)
23) I want my woman not to wear make up. Is that ok with you?
24) Would you bring a very sort clussy skirt with you?
25) I love sort satin nightdress. You have one to bring?
26) I also love it like crazy when my woman have hairs to her pubic area. Is that ok?

I also have some fantasies I would like to try with you?.

1) Night nacked swimming and sex in the sea. (Only if the weather is ok and there are no other people around of course?)
2) I would like to play the game of rape with you. (Not pain or forced things. Just a very light roleplaying?)
3) I would like to play the game of rape but the way that you are rapping me?
4) The most times I had sex in one night till now in my life is three. Would you try please to make the three so many times that it would be life record for me?
5) I would like to have sex in doggy style with a woman that she wear only a pair of boots with high hills. You have maybe a pair?



I'm imagining him getting the booking, and being all excited. It's the shag of a lifetime, a memory he will treasure into his dotage, and all because he was so specific about what he wanted to make it perfect.......

Now look back at his first set of questions and read number 4 again :-)

MissThang

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1807 on: 01 November 2011, 01:14:33 pm »
Ooh, and I've just got one of my own!


"hi sexy, was thinking of booking but was wondering would you let a client try to get you pregnant? its a big fantasy of mine xx"

My reply......

"Really? You'd let me carry your child for 9 months, then raise it for the next 18 years? OK. My hourly rate is ?100. By my calculation, for the full 18 years 9 months, my fee will be ?16,440,000. If the bareback sex gives me HIV and I die before the child reaches 18, unfortunately no refunds can be given.
Please note, if a booking is more than ?500, I require a deposit beforehand. Please transfer ?8,220,000 in AW credits, and use the booking facility to let me know when you would like us to meet.

PS Anal is an extra ?50, and at my discretion"

Your Tera

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1808 on: 01 November 2011, 04:06:17 pm »
Ooh, and I've just got one of my own!


"hi sexy, was thinking of booking but was wondering would you let a client try to get you pregnant? its a big fantasy of mine xx"

My reply......

"Really? You'd let me carry your child for 9 months, then raise it for the next 18 years? OK. My hourly rate is ?100. By my calculation, for the full 18 years 9 months, my fee will be ?16,440,000. If the bareback sex gives me HIV and I die before the child reaches 18, unfortunately no refunds can be given.
Please note, if a booking is more than ?500, I require a deposit beforehand. Please transfer ?8,220,000 in AW credits, and use the booking facility to let me know when you would like us to meet.

PS Anal is an extra ?50, and at my discretion"


That prompted a full-belly LOL!!! Well done!

ParisB

  • Guest
Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1809 on: 01 November 2011, 04:53:16 pm »

he wants to rap with you   i can rap im pretty good at that  in a slim shady kind of way  ;D

and i bet he wants a 30 mins appointment and wants all of the below included  and of course dont forget the swim in the sea as long as no one else is around  ;D     

\
Just read Friday's Crazy Greek Man email request and I am sat here, literally crying with laughter!
I've quoted quite a bit of the post, to illustrate that he clearly wants fairly straightforward stuff and can't spell very well.

This ones rather special......

In this point I would like to ask you some things about our time together?..

1) I love giving anal sex. Is that ok? (I have a medium size coc?)
2) I love giving and recievingg oral without condom and I love it when my woman swallows.. Is that ok?
3) 69 is ok with you?
4) I love if you shit on my face and I lick your pussy for a very long time. Is that ok?
5) I loved it when the woman stroke, lick and kiss all my body. Is that ok?
6) Is it ok if Imake the same to you?
7) It make me crazy horny when a woman stroke, lick, kiss and take gently to her mouth my balls. Is that ok with you?
8) Making shower together is ok?
9) Making sex to the shower is ok?
10) Is it ok if we are completely nacked all the time that we are the two of us private?
11) Sub games is ok?
12) I like to be the Master and my woman to be the slave. Is that ok? (No pain things at all)
13) Role playing?
14) I like to tie and tease my woman and I like it when she make the same. Is that ok?
15) Is it ok if I give light spanking? (No pain things at all)
16) Would you do me massage?
17) Would you try to make me striptease?
18) I love doggy. Is that ok?
19) I love spooning sex. Is that ok?
20) But most of the times I like my woman on top (Cowgirl) facing both ways. Is that ok with you?
21) I am smoking. Is that ok with you?
22) Can I make some photo?s of you? (You can keep them if you like or to erase them to the end? I just like making it. I would like to keep them also but if it is a problem it is ok with me?.)
23) I want my woman not to wear make up. Is that ok with you?
24) Would you bring a very sort clussy skirt with you?
25) I love sort satin nightdress. You have one to bring?
26) I also love it like crazy when my woman have hairs to her pubic area. Is that ok?

I also have some fantasies I would like to try with you?.

1) Night nacked swimming and sex in the sea. (Only if the weather is ok and there are no other people around of course?)
2) I would like to play the game of rape with you. (Not pain or forced things. Just a very light roleplaying?)
3) I would like to play the game of rape but the way that you are rapping me?
4) The most times I had sex in one night till now in my life is three. Would you try please to make the three so many times that it would be life record for me?
5) I would like to have sex in doggy style with a woman that she wear only a pair of boots with high hills. You have maybe a pair?



I'm imagining him getting the booking, and being all excited. It's the shag of a lifetime, a memory he will treasure into his dotage, and all because he was so specific about what he wanted to make it perfect.......

Now look back at his first set of questions and read number 4 again :-)

Coty

  • Guest
Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1810 on: 02 November 2011, 02:01:19 am »
Ooh, and I've just got one of my own!


"hi sexy, was thinking of booking but was wondering would you let a client try to get you pregnant? its a big fantasy of mine xx"

My reply......

"Really? You'd let me carry your child for 9 months, then raise it for the next 18 years? OK. My hourly rate is ?100. By my calculation, for the full 18 years 9 months, my fee will be ?16,440,000. If the bareback sex gives me HIV and I die before the child reaches 18, unfortunately no refunds can be given.
Please note, if a booking is more than ?500, I require a deposit beforehand. Please transfer ?8,220,000 in AW credits, and use the booking facility to let me know when you would like us to meet.

PS Anal is an extra ?50, and at my discretion"



ha ha ha ha ha...excellent reply. did you hear back from him?

MissThang

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  • Posts: 349
Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1811 on: 02 November 2011, 02:16:38 am »
Not so far! But if there's 8 million in credits waiting for me tomorrow, I promise I'll take everyone on this site on holiday. We can get pissed and think up names for the baby  ;D

improbablecats

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1812 on: 02 November 2011, 05:17:04 am »

Ooh, and I've just got one of my own!


"hi sexy, was thinking of booking but was wondering would you let a client try to get you pregnant? its a big fantasy of mine xx"

My reply......

"Really? You'd let me carry your child for 9 months, then raise it for the next 18 years? OK. My hourly rate is ?100. By my calculation, for the full 18 years 9 months, my fee will be ?16,440,000. If the bareback sex gives me HIV and I die before the child reaches 18, unfortunately no refunds can be given.
Please note, if a booking is more than ?500, I require a deposit beforehand. Please transfer ?8,220,000 in AW credits, and use the booking facility to let me know when you would like us to meet.

PS Anal is an extra ?50, and at my discretion"


Amazing. Simply amazing.

MissThang

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  • Posts: 349
Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1813 on: 02 November 2011, 01:38:13 pm »
I know, can you imagine!
"Why are we so rich, Mummy? And why haven't I got a daddy?"
"Well son, funny story. Way back in 2011......."  ::)

MissThang

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  • Posts: 349
Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1814 on: 02 November 2011, 01:40:09 pm »
Don't get me wrong BTW, for ?16million, I'd break my 'no bareback' rule. Everyone has a price, and I'm pretty sure I'd do damn near anything for that much lol!