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Author Topic: How not to book an escort,world championships!  (Read 2600389 times)

Anika Mae

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1725 on: 02 October 2011, 12:58:19 pm »
Just taken a call from someone who wanted to know how late I'd be working tonight. As always I didn't give a time and asked him when he was hoping for see me. 4pm. For an hour. o.0

Then he asked if I offered fetishes. I said sure, depending what they are of course, I don't have experience of everything. He asked what I specialised in and I said nothing, I'm just fetish-friendly. He said he liked to do a role-play where he was a doctor and he looks down my throat and then I give him oral. Right. Fine.

He asked if I still have tonsils. I said yes I do. Are they big? It's important to him that they're big. I said this wasn't something I'd taken an interest in so I had no idea. He understood of course, so could I have a look and let him know? Well no, since I don't give a crap about tonsils I have no idea what range of sizes they come in.

LouLou37

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1726 on: 02 October 2011, 01:26:40 pm »
Oh my.... a tonsil fetish  :o Never heard of that one before! I have one small tonsil and one permanently enlarged tonsil (from after an op) - do you think I would 'pass' lol?! Did you actually have a look at yours after that, or google "average tonsil size" or something?  :D
"Good things come to those who hustle" Anais Nin

MISS RUBY

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1727 on: 02 October 2011, 01:51:33 pm »
here as some classic tw telephone calls....     tw 1 rings  me and asks  "what time does the shop shut??                                                                                                                                                                                                                              tw2    ," im doing some filming for the bbc can i come and see you"?. to which i reply" no."
he then leaves a message on my voice mail  saying " enjoy youre crack habit"....( yes because i must be on drugs)
 tw3 calls up and says "can you come to my home? my parents are away overseas,". then a strange noise in the background, he then says" oh my dads just walked in do you still want to come to see me?," to which i put the phone down!!!!
 enough !!!!
Ruby

Mellow

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1728 on: 02 October 2011, 02:58:13 pm »
Gosh I'd forgotten this one....

When I was still in Portsmouth (still a wee bit green) got an outcall to Fareham......chatted on phone, no TW triggers going off except...

He said he was housesitting.....but he came accross pretty well.  I manage to get an earlier train, text to say.....ok to meet earlier.......he says fine.
Anyway reach Fareham text to say Im here.......no response......get to entrance a guy comes towards me......but wait......turns out this is the chaps pal, whose house it is, hes a sailor, just returned unexpectedly on leave.  My chap had been using his pal's phone to make all the arrangements and had confessed all on his unexpected return!

So I'm rather embarassed but I do ask him to pass on my comments ie. what a coward the guy was leaving it to him to tell me and how pissed off I am at my time being wasted! 


tastylass

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1729 on: 03 October 2011, 07:53:36 am »
Over the years i have moved flats and locations but always got phone calls from my boots   telling me what he was doing to my poor pvc boots  how he was wanking over them  into them and wearing them !!
i havnt heard from him for at least 9 months

Maybe he stopped because he finally managed to....

puts on sunglasses

fill your boots.

YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH
« Last Edit: 03 October 2011, 10:45:09 am by tastylass »

Simone

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1730 on: 03 October 2011, 08:48:03 am »
Over the years i have moved flats and locations but always got phone calls from my boots  telling me what he was doing to my poor pvc boots  how he was wanking over them  into them and wearing them !!
i havnt heard from him for at least 9 months so maybe he has fell over while wanking and wearing my boots and broke his neck  i dont know  but i dont want the  boots back 

Maybe he stopped because he finally managed to....

puts on sunglasses

fill your boots.

YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH


Ahhahahahahahahaha ;D Oh God that is brilliant!

Paris-That story HAS to win the award for oddest and most random on this thread (with a nice dollop of creepiness thrown in for good measure) Your poor, poor boots, what did they ever do to deserve such a fate?

Dexi Delite

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1731 on: 04 October 2011, 11:01:27 am »
It amazes me how thick some of these guys really are.  The jist of the story is...
I woke up on Wed morning to find I had a missed call and a text asking if I could talk at 11pm Tues night.  I replied back saying I can talk now.  Within seconds he was ringing.  He asked if he could make an appt to see me this coming Monday, which I said yes to, and could I turn up wearing a secretary style outfit with seamed stockings.  I figured that it was no great hardship so agreed.  He asked which area would be best for me to visit, and I suggested Manchester city centre.  He then asked if I could make it Monday morning.  I told him I prefer afternoons (I'm not my best in a morning), so we decided 3pm. Call ends. 
He then texted asking if I could bring my strap on (again not a problem as it's usually in my work bag).  Then another text asking if he could call.  I said yes. He calls and went on to ask if I have any fetish outfits.  I said I did, and he asked if I could bring one.  He then wanted me to go through what outfits I had (at this point I was beginning to get annoyed), he also specified the shoes he wanted me to wear (which he'd seen on my site).  Fine I said and ended the call.
Shortly after he texted again, asking if I kiss and do watersports.  Yes I do.
Then another text saying he tried to book a hotel on Deansgate, but it was full and could he call me regarding organising another hotel.  I didn't answer at this point.
Then another text saying he liked role play and like to be called big boy. He gave a little detail into how he wanted the session to pan out.
At this point I sent a text saying "Having considered our communication I am sorry, but I am going to cancel our session on Monday.  I fear that any session planned so meticulously will only end in disappointment, and I do not like to disappoint during a session.  I wish you luck in your search for another mistress."
I thought I was to the point and polite about it, and when I received a text back from him saying "Well, I was hoping it could be an introductory session so we could then tailor make future sessions."  I took this as though he'd got the message that I no longer wished to see him.  And what a good job, as by the sounds of his last text, he would be topping from the bottom everytime I saw him.
Anyhow, today I have had 3 calls from him.  I have ignored everyone.  I thought what I'd texted and the fact that I had wished him luck in searching for someone else would have been clear enough.  Obviously not.  Grrrrrr


Just wanted to get it off my chest, because I think he's a blithering idiot and wish he'd take the hint and sod off. :)


Since I posted this last week, the same guy has been ringing and texting incessantly, wanting a booking.  I've ignored all his calls and his texts pleading me to have a session with him.  I have just received another text now saying "I'm guessing I can't get a booking?"  Is he finally getting the message after a week of no replys.  Doh!  ;D
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River

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1732 on: 04 October 2011, 11:14:11 am »
I just got this message:
Hi there, I will be around your way this week, how about a meet?
I'll be staying at the Premier Inn, room 54


Bloody partner, taking the pee!
« Last Edit: 23 January 2017, 06:09:43 pm by River »

Cat_BBW

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1733 on: 04 October 2011, 08:14:49 pm »
Just received this - I doubt I'm the only one...

Hello cat. Your a stunning woman. Adore your body. Your much hotter than my girlfriend. She's 35 from uk glasgow. She caught me looking at u on line and was jealous of u.. She has agreed that if guys at my work think u are hotter than her then she will pay for me to see u on cam for 20. U want her pic to see if u can beat her? What's ur email? U on messenger? My one is wilsonsuite2@yahoo.co.uk xxx rob need urs to send pic x

Erm. Yeah. I'm really THAT desperate for ?20 (or 20 mins?) that I'll jump through fecking hoops for you...and I REALLY fell for the "if guys at my work think you are hotter" shpiel.

*deleted*

Cat_BBW

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1734 on: 04 October 2011, 08:25:39 pm »
...and from cam just now...

TWAT: can u tell where your tits end and your clungetrap begins ?
CatBBW: wtf is a clungetrap?
TWAT: a clungetrap is a fatbirds clunge, because once you fuck it you can't get out from under her
TWAT: lawl
TWAT: i just made that up im funny
TWAT: laugh for me u fuck

*kicked*

Cat_BBW

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1735 on: 04 October 2011, 08:47:29 pm »
erm....just had a strange one...can only think he's mixed me up with someone else... ???

(he had "stafford" in his ID, but it's not the whole ID, so I'm putting it here as I'm in London and not sure who he thought I was...)

stafford: hi
CatBBW: hi
stafford: ui ok ?
stafford: u moved house yet?
CatBBW: moved house?
stafford: ye
CatBBW: I'm not moving house?
stafford: k

 ???

natasha

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1736 on: 04 October 2011, 08:49:32 pm »
...and from cam just now...

TWAT: can u tell where your tits end and your clungetrap begins ?
CatBBW: wtf is a clungetrap?
TWAT: a clungetrap is a fatbirds clunge, because once you fuck it you can't get out from under her
TWAT: lawl
TWAT: i just made that up im funny
TWAT: laugh for me u fuck

*kicked*
Bloody hell, I've been sort of toying with the idea of camming...
but reading this, I don't know if my skin would be thick enough...
Reading that made me  >:(  >:( grrr!
Let go of my ears! I know what I'm doing!

sweet jane

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1737 on: 04 October 2011, 08:51:28 pm »
...and from cam just now...

TWAT: can u tell where your tits end and your clungetrap begins ?
CatBBW: wtf is a clungetrap?
TWAT: a clungetrap is a fatbirds clunge, because once you fuck it you can't get out from under her
TWAT: lawl
TWAT: i just made that up im funny
TWAT: laugh for me u fuck

*kicked*

wow, witty and charming all in one! gawd that fills me with enthusiasm for camming tonight *sigh* ok, off to put on some sort of an excuse for an outfit.

Friday

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1738 on: 04 October 2011, 09:00:34 pm »
So I have this guy saved in my phone as "creepy threesome guy"..charming eh

Well every now and then he sends me texts like "Hi there how you doing?" which naturally I dont repsond too creepy guy or otherwise.

Today I got this "Hey, how you doing? Not heard from you in a while x"

Funny that seeing as you've NEVER heard from me ever???  ??? ::)

Cat_BBW

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1739 on: 04 October 2011, 09:14:34 pm »
...and from cam just now...

TWAT: can u tell where your tits end and your clungetrap begins ?
CatBBW: wtf is a clungetrap?
TWAT: a clungetrap is a fatbirds clunge, because once you fuck it you can't get out from under her
TWAT: lawl
TWAT: i just made that up im funny
TWAT: laugh for me u fuck

*kicked*
Bloody hell, I've been sort of toying with the idea of camming...
but reading this, I don't know if my skin would be thick enough...
Reading that made me  >:(  >:( grrr!

Stings sometimes, but it's SOOOO satisfying to be able to boot them out for all eternity!! And if you don't get them the first time (ie: they leave the room before you can kick them out), note their name and boot them next time they come in...most guys are nice, and seriously, all the nice guys chase out the twats too  ;D