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Author Topic: How not to book an escort,world championships!  (Read 2594758 times)

River

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1680 on: 26 September 2011, 09:15:03 pm »
I havent actually had my first booking yet but i have had a few emails, thought this one was best of the bunch,

"hmmm will you be fine seeing me and specifically giving me an oral WITHOUT, as I've semenal leakage in which during the course of ecertion, my penis keeps twitching and also keeps ejecting some seminal watery drops.
regards and hope to hear from you."

Solitaire, sorry to break it to you,
but you're not his first choice
http://www.saafe.info/main/index.php?topic=1637.msg46909#msg46909
Quote
June 24, 2011, 14:51:35 ?
Hi! I?m 25. I have a condition known as ?semen leakage? in which I involuntarily and continuously eject drops of watery cum. It  will you give oral without a condom, as it continuously drips cum? I think it won?t be a problem if you keep a glass and keep spitting in it?

*heaves*
Double heaves.

natasha

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1681 on: 26 September 2011, 09:38:59 pm »
Ah, well such is life. I will now go and think of a lovely name to save him under  in my phone incase he tries again. Any suggestions? ;D
Sham '69?
Let go of my ears! I know what I'm doing!

Friday

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1682 on: 27 September 2011, 01:45:07 am »
Some of my delights from today...

email: so obviously a copied and paste job as he sent it at 7:15pm.. ::) ::) ::)

Hi my names Chris I wondered if you could possibly organise a webcam humiliation chat with me today at around 6 or 7pm. I wondered if you could get as many girls on cam with you as possible and basicly make fun off me make me do things for everyones enjoyment basically humiliate me I don't mind if everyones dressed or undressed I just won't to be watched by lots of girls and humiliated.

Text:

"Hi, I saw ur profile on the internet..."  well thanks for that always good to know im getting search results lol  ???

Also had some delightful wierdo texting me about an overnight offering more than twice my rate if I would wear something skimpy out to dinner...uh huh I soooo believe you are genuine sir  ::) ::) ::) ::)

tastylass

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1683 on: 27 September 2011, 08:48:23 am »

Cat_BBW

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1684 on: 27 September 2011, 12:20:28 pm »

"hmmm will you be fine seeing me and specifically giving me an oral WITHOUT, as I've semenal leakage in which during the course of ecertion, my penis keeps twitching and also keeps ejecting some seminal watery drops.
regards and hope to hear from you."



Thing is, this is normal. It's just the way he puts it makes it sound so vile!

AngelEyes

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1685 on: 27 September 2011, 01:18:20 pm »
Yup, i agree . I t really is a true condition,  but there are much less gross ways of putting it. And anyway,  what puzzles me is why he thinks that this would entitle him to OWO?

Sorry, but that is even less likely . In fact a def no no. Leakage plus owo? Er yeahhhhhhhhh in your dreams matey.


I have stretch marks can you imagine if I said  my body  has stretch marks because I had two kids. I hope you don't mind but some of my skin is  a bit spidery in places. I hope you won't mind; I mean this really won't be a problem will it . ? blah blah blah ;D.

I'm not saying I don't make clients aware and neither do I lie; in some of my photos you can see my marks . But dwelling on it like that is not the best advert ????????

natasha

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1686 on: 27 September 2011, 08:38:56 pm »
A phone call from a client who has sent me sexually explicit text messages and made unsuccessful attempts at booking me in the past. (due to his rudeness/abruptness)

He, 'When you wanna see me then?'
I , 'Who is this please'
He, '*Hopeful*'
I, 'Aah, I didn't appreciate the obscene text messages and your rudeness on the phone.'
He, 'I wasn't sure what you did' ( ???)
I, 'Please don't call me again'

*Then a text*
'U need to send me over your webside to me then'

I LOVE rude people telling me what I 'need' to do. A winner every time... >:(
Let go of my ears! I know what I'm doing!

AngelEyes

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1687 on: 27 September 2011, 08:54:44 pm »
 I know it is great in't it? Obviously some guys just don't realise that we are actually running a business therefore ultimately we are in charge to an extent.

Would  it be okay to  go into Macdonalds and tell them how to make your burger? or go to Starbucks and tell them how to make your coffee ? No, it would not. It would be okay to ask politely though if you do not take milk or don't like onions.

Stating the obvious, it would seem, but this etiquette seems to be sadly missing/lacking with some clients.

I had a guy who I have seen before text me : Are you working tonight?
me No sorry not til tomorrow now.

Him'Oh but I am so horny'
Me' ' Can't help you out there tonight sorry'

Him'Oh so I gotta go and wank then? But I am a sex addict'
Me; 'Yes if that's what you need to do to alleviate yourself


Silence for ten minutes.
Then' If I book a hotel would you consider  coming and .****ing me for a couple of  hours?'


I did not answer and this guy is quickly on his way to becoming blacklisted!  Regular clients are great but  regular is not an automatic entitlement to push boundaries.

Mellow

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1688 on: 29 September 2011, 09:14:39 am »
Ugh got this email today:


"hi my name is dan, iam very interested in having a meeting with you asap, but before we meet can i just ask you if you would let me cum on to your bare bum. I just wanted to ask first....

thanks for your time....xx"



Cat_BBW

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1689 on: 29 September 2011, 12:37:43 pm »
Ugh got this email today:


"hi my name is dan, iam very interested in having a meeting with you asap, but before we meet can i just ask you if you would let me cum on to your bare bum. I just wanted to ask first....

thanks for your time....xx"




I don't see anything wrong with that? Send him my way :D

tastylass

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1690 on: 29 September 2011, 12:47:03 pm »
post deleted - not really interested in playing games on this forum
« Last Edit: 29 September 2011, 02:16:46 pm by tastylass »

Rooby

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1691 on: 29 September 2011, 01:16:42 pm »
Biggest nutter I've seen for a while.

Seconded. I'm astonished he's divorced though, how on earth did his wife ever let him go  ???

R xx


JennyJazz87

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1692 on: 29 September 2011, 01:24:06 pm »
I think he's a few sandwhiches short of a picnic.
"The problem with the French is that they don't have a word for entrepreneur!" - George W. Bush

LouLou37

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1693 on: 29 September 2011, 01:29:41 pm »
"Resurrecting the innocence of prostitutes"  ;D

There is soooo much wrong with that guy it's unreal! He even looks crazy!!!

It's true that crazy people do not know how crazy they actually are....
"Good things come to those who hustle" Anais Nin

Friday

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1694 on: 29 September 2011, 04:17:37 pm »
This ones rather special......

I like you a lot as a woman. Your age is perfect for my taste. I find your body and face absolutely sexy and if you make sex the same way you are looking then I will like a lot to make that as often as possible for both of us?.

In this point I would like to ask you some things about our time together?..

1) I love giving anal sex. Is that ok? (I have a medium size coc?)
2) I love giving and recievingg oral without condom and I love it when my woman swallows.. Is that ok?
3) 69 is ok with you?
4) I love if you shit on my face and I lick your pussy for a very long time. Is that ok?
5) I loved it when the woman stroke, lick and kiss all my body. Is that ok?
6) Is it ok if Imake the same to you?
7) It make me crazy horny when a woman stroke, lick, kiss and take gently to her mouth my balls. Is that ok with you?
8) Making shower together is ok?
9) Making sex to the shower is ok?
10) Is it ok if we are completely nacked all the time that we are the two of us private?
11) Sub games is ok?
12) I like to be the Master and my woman to be the slave. Is that ok? (No pain things at all)
13) Role playing?
14) I like to tie and tease my woman and I like it when she make the same. Is that ok?
15) Is it ok if I give light spanking? (No pain things at all)
16) Would you do me massage?
17) Would you try to make me striptease?
18) I love doggy. Is that ok?
19) I love spooning sex. Is that ok?
20) But most of the times I like my woman on top (Cowgirl) facing both ways. Is that ok with you?
21) I am smoking. Is that ok with you?
22) Can I make some photo?s of you? (You can keep them if you like or to erase them to the end? I just like making it. I would like to keep them also but if it is a problem it is ok with me?.)
23) I want my woman not to wear make up. Is that ok with you?
24) Would you bring a very sort clussy skirt with you?
25) I love sort satin nightdress. You have one to bring?
26) I also love it like crazy when my woman have hairs to her pubic area. Is that ok?

I also have some fantasies I would like to try with you?.

1) Night nacked swimming and sex in the sea. (Only if the weather is ok and there are no other people around of course?)
2) I would like to play the game of rape with you. (Not pain or forced things. Just a very light roleplaying?)
3) I would like to play the game of rape but the way that you are rapping me?
4) The most times I had sex in one night till now in my life is three. Would you try please to make the three so many times that it would be life record for me?
5) I would like to have sex in doggy style with a woman that she wear only a pair of boots with high hills. You have maybe a pair?

Sorry for the very long message but I feel that we know what each of us like and enjoy so our time together to be as better as possible. In this spirit please tell me also what you enjoy more or what fantasy you maybe have and I am promising that I will try my best to make it with you?.
I understand that they will be a couple of things you will say that you don?t make and you don?t have to worry about it. I really love the way you look and I feel that we will have a perfect time together. Sorry again for the very long message?.

Kisses

Crazy Greek Man


Obviously my profile would have answered the majority... but I have to wonder which Sea he thinks we'd be swimming in???  ???

I also love in his AW interview he lists this as his nearest Railway: Eleutherios Venizelos Athens Airport

and he's only prepared to travel: 2? Hours

As you can see there isn't actually any mention of an actual booking, no doubt he was looking for say oh 30 minutes lol  ;D
 ::) ::) ::)