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Author Topic: How not to book an escort,world championships!  (Read 2594869 times)

Cat_BBW

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1500 on: 21 August 2011, 07:50:46 pm »
Sundays seem to be the day that I draw in the loonies!


I'm convinced the whole male population goes bonkers on a Sunday!! I won't complain cos it's one of my busiest days, but it's like a plague of cock-wielding zombies on Sundays!!

Sweet-Pleasure

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1501 on: 21 August 2011, 08:03:25 pm »


Confused...what about your FAQs would make him above the law of MissArcaBunny?



I dunno, but I really want to buy one of those huge inflatable hammers and bash the stupid ones who actually make it through my screening process. Apparently hitting stupid clients with huge real hammers is not allowed  ???

Friday

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1502 on: 21 August 2011, 08:22:20 pm »
I'm convinced the whole male population goes bonkers on a Sunday!! I won't complain cos it's one of my busiest days, but it's like a plague of cock-wielding zombies on Sundays!!

I'd say its a weekend think in general, like you attract more of the "trying it cause they're bored" types.

You can always tell when it's a public holiday! Especially at Christmas time  you can tell when people start breaking up for there Christmas break, 500% increase in idiots! lol

tastylass

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1503 on: 22 August 2011, 10:55:08 am »
I have a game to play with girls. I hand you some money and some
envelopes and you put the money into the envelopes (you can count the
money). Envelopes chosen at random. You get to keep the contents. But,
you can't open the envelope until after we've had some fun together!
Either:
- six envelopes, one empty, five each contain ?200
- two envelopes, one empty, one contains ?1,000

We would play each time we meet. From my point of view, it will
average out over time. Of course, we will do whatever you can suggest
to ensure that the game is 100% fair. We discuss the game in detail
before we meet and only play if you are 100% happy.

Being a bit geeky, I rather like that idea, particularly since his proposed options suggest that he's mathematically illiterate. His first option has an average payoff over time of ?166 per booking and his second ?500 per booking. It sounds like the higher the chance of getting 'something for nothing', the more he's prepared to risk. I wonder how he'd react to three envelopes, two empty and one containing ?5,000.

Of course, there would need to be some sort of way to ensure that he doesn't cheat. I'd make sure I provided the envelopes, to avoid hidden pockets and insist that he put the money in before sex, then hide them in my usual place. I'd make sure I was the one to shuffle the envelopes behind my back (could do this nude so no chance of cheating) and then ask him to pick one. Or flip a coin.

The main problem I'd see is the risk that if he 'won' the first time, he wouldn't come back again. Or that he's only interested in discussing the game, rather than playing it. I'd probably suggest a half-hour booking at social rates to finalise the details. That would scare off a TW.

tastylass

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1504 on: 22 August 2011, 11:17:18 am »
I have just seen your advert and wanted to drop you a note. I am 44 and stay near Glasgow. Not married - I stay with my eldery Aunt. I grew up with her and I had a very strict childhood. To cut a long story short I used to get corporal punishmnet as a child and every now and again I still have to take it. Mty Aunt is sending me to get the school Tawse for a firend of hers soon. This lady used to run a borstal before she retired and she belts very hard.

I am going to get 12 strokes across my bottom and after I I would like to come for a massage. Is that possible? I feel I will deserve some please after the pain.

I am being belted for having erections - no guy can go without one for long but my Aunt does not allow it. I have not masturbated for nearly a year so really keen to do that as well, if you allow it.

Sorry, I don't see what the problem is with this one. Seems like a fairly standard request for a domme, with his little Aunt fantasy explained. So long as a booking comes soon after, he's just explaining what he wants.

Is the problem that your website says that you don't offer CP?

xw5

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1505 on: 22 August 2011, 02:11:23 pm »
The main problem I'd see is the risk that if he 'won' the first time, he wouldn't come back again.

I am not in any way a 'good' magician, but if you played this with me, then amazingly enough the empty envelope would be picked every time. This sort of thing is basic magic, so I would say your main problem is that you end up shagging a magician for free...
'The Ian formerly known as SW5'. What they said: "Indispensable", "You are our best resource", and (hours later!) "I'm afraid that you're being made redundant..."

Winding down YourEscortSite.com

Coty

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1506 on: 22 August 2011, 02:27:43 pm »
I am not in any way a 'good' magician, but if you played this with me, then amazingly enough the empty envelope would be picked every time. This sort of thing is basic magic, so I would say your main problem is that you end up shagging a magician for free...

If it were Derren Brown I wouldn't mind at all!
But he's gay so not likely to be him:-(


AngelaManchester

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1507 on: 22 August 2011, 03:29:51 pm »
Via AW, from somebody calling himself WellEndowedChris:

Hi. You have a nice profile.
I was wondering if you would like to for a partnership to provide a wider customer base for both of us?
If you are interested reply and we can discuss further.

Regards

Chris


Of course accompanied by the obligatory knob pic, to which I immediately creamed my knickers  :D

River

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1508 on: 22 August 2011, 05:12:44 pm »
A text

Tony, the eternal optimist: I offer massage, wondered if you fancied a reciprocal time. Tony

Me: OK, I could do with a good lower back massage as I strained it yesterday, lifting some heavy boxes. How much an hour do you charge?

Tony, the eternal optimist: I won't charge anything and look forward now to give you a massage.

Me: OK. I only charge ?9000 / hour to let strangers touch my body. When you have coin, book me. xxx

Tony, the eternal optimist:  *



*No reply, still waiting..... :P
« Last Edit: 23 January 2017, 05:25:10 pm by River »

River

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1509 on: 22 August 2011, 05:23:07 pm »
Another text
A couple of text messages from Richie, enquiring about site URL and multi-hour bookings, followed by this:

Richie the Text haggler Would u not be able to do a better deal?

Me:  Would you not be able to find a cheaper Transsexual Escort?

Richie the Text haggler Unless u know any prob not x

Me: No reply sent*



*but thinks, "Ain't life a bitch!"    ;D
« Last Edit: 23 January 2017, 05:23:51 pm by River »

Your Tera

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1510 on: 22 August 2011, 06:04:40 pm »
"Hello Tera, i have asked you this before,but i hope you dont mind me asking again just in case you change your mind, because you are the most stunning woman ive seen, for good money, would you be in a catfighting contest, ( hairpulling only ). Im sorry to ask again,but i just think you would be a total winner, and certainly a crowd puller. I will not trouble you again if the answer is no. Thanx babe. xxx"


Right. I TOTALLY changed my mind and decided to opt in for violence. Duh.

Friday

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1511 on: 24 August 2011, 01:17:20 am »
Have any ladies had this email?

Yes he even confesses he's email (the exact same) email before. I declined last time as he's asking for services I don't offer (and i am not interested in bookings where they are so specific of what they want reeks of TW).

I didn't respond this time but it's interesting after 2 emails he only has feedback for phone chat. Such an obvious timewaster I'm wondering how many else have had the same email?

"You look fantastic babe!

I Would love to meet up with you...

I think I may have sent this to you before but I've been away for a couple of months but now I'm back.

I'm going to be honest with you, I have a girl friend who I love very much... But I am obsessed with big juicy firm breasts - and she isn't busty at all, I'd never cheat on her but I just want to satisfy my needs. And you are so gorgeous and I'd love to see you.

I have a very particular sense of what I would like, so I'm just going to write down what I would desire... here goes

The minute we walk in the room you smother/suffocate me with your Breasts and don't let me go...

Then, you just sit me down in a chair and give me the most oiliest, filthiest, Titwank ever while you talk dirty to me!

You to talk to me really dirty, almost humiliating me. Treating me like a little boy & telling me how much you want to milk me between your amazing breasts (But not S&M though)

Finally, I might like (depending how it goes) to try rimming... I've never had it done to me before & my girlfriend won't do it - just thought if you were really good at it I might want to see if it gets me off?

If everything's cool, great. If there's anything you might not want to do, just let me know.

Jesus I can't wait, if you could give me a call or email back & let me know if everything's cool that would be fantastic.
"

Ace

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1512 on: 24 August 2011, 01:08:59 pm »
text received yesterday

"orite m8 tried to get ur website but nt workin"

"hello, have you tried typing it into the bar rather than clicking the link"

"oh no wht's the addi?" (so you haven't even looked at the link then...headesk)

A bit later he texts back.

"So will you blow me for ?20 or wht?"


I'm yet to reply.

Your Tera

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1513 on: 24 August 2011, 01:22:30 pm »
text received yesterday

"orite m8 tried to get ur website but nt workin"

"hello, have you tried typing it into the bar rather than clicking the link"

"oh no wht's the addi?" (so you haven't even looked at the link then...headesk)

A bit later he texts back.

"So will you blow me for ?20 or wht?"


I'm yet to reply.

Reply, reply!!! Don't let this gem get away!!

Kiko

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1514 on: 24 August 2011, 01:31:52 pm »
Seriously! That is brilliant!  I'd like to blow him away with a double barrel shotgun! ;D
I am not selling sex! I'm selling condoms with free demonstration!