See also the main SAAFE.info site for more Support And Advice For Escorts

Author Topic: How not to book an escort,world championships!  (Read 2595153 times)

Cat_BBW

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 3,819
  • Meow.
    • AdultWork Profile
Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1485 on: 20 August 2011, 08:25:54 pm »
please make sure i cum , i seem to take ages to cum :( ...... anyway try without telling me that we have 5 mins left...:)


thanks and im sorry about the long email

LOL Rooby - I read all the email and was nodding, shrugging etc until the last sentance and was like  :o You could have given him almost half hour of insulting, slapping him about a bit, jump on him, smother him etc...but then he could take another hour to cum!!! Especially as he knows that when you're trying to make him cum, he only has 5 short minutes!!!

And the email prolly took him longer to write than the session would last! :D :D

Coty

  • Guest
Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1486 on: 20 August 2011, 09:23:42 pm »

And the email prolly took him longer to write than the session would last! :D :D

LMAO! Especially as it was probably typed one handed!


tastylass

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 61
    • 30-Something Escort
Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1487 on: 21 August 2011, 02:32:50 pm »
Hey everyone! Congratulations on 100 pages of really terrible attempts at booking! Is this the longest thread ever on Saafe?

Cat_BBW

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 3,819
  • Meow.
    • AdultWork Profile
Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1488 on: 21 August 2011, 06:04:45 pm »
Oooh the twats are camming today  ::)

Twat1 : wow
CatBBW: hi
Twat1: great big tits u oryyt luv
CatBBW: fine ty, hru?
Twat1: im hard
Twat1: can u shw ur face plz hun
CatBBW: see all face in pvt
Twat1: mmmm i wana cum on ur face
Twat1: ur belly is big
CatBBW: it is
Twat1: wat about ur ass
CatBBW: massive. see all in group or pvt
Twat1: fuk sake
Twat1: ur massive
Twat1: noo
Twat1: too fat
Twat1 leaves room

Sooo...he wants to cum on my face (that he hasn't seen!), but I'm too fat for him. ::) Still, at least he didn't ask for poo :-X




Luvmylips

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 256
Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1489 on: 21 August 2011, 06:56:29 pm »
Sundays seem to be the day that I draw in the loonies! Got this email from Novelist london who claims to have played this game with loads of escorts.  ::)
_________________________________________________________________
FROM:NOVELIST LONDON
I should tell you, I never pay for sex directly, but I do throw my
money around, and everyone knows the rules before they play?

When I was a teenager I would watch game shows on television, and
fantasise  that if you opened the correct envelope, you would win sex
with the beautiful woman in the posh dress, the gamehost's beautiful
assistant.

I have a game to play with girls. I hand you some money and some
envelopes and you put the money into the envelopes (you can count the
money). Envelopes chosen at random. You get to keep the contents. But,
you can't open the envelope until after we've had some fun together!
Either:
- six envelopes, one empty, five each contain ?200
- two envelopes, one empty, one contains ?1,000

We would play each time we meet. From my point of view, it will
average out over time. Of course, we will do whatever you can suggest
to ensure that the game is 100% fair. We discuss the game in detail
before we meet and only play if you are 100% happy.

We'll, I'm sure you'll get back to me if you'd like to play.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

BOZO!

Luvmylips

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 256
Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1490 on: 21 August 2011, 07:00:58 pm »
Claims to have found my details on AW and did not want to pay a deposit but wanted to meet for a coffee first. If I had a tenner for every chancer that wants to meet for coffee first, then I wouldn't have to actually do any work!  :P

Cat_BBW

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 3,819
  • Meow.
    • AdultWork Profile
Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1491 on: 21 August 2011, 07:05:42 pm »
Twat2: do u do doggin
CatBBW: no sorry
Twat2: no worries wud luv 2 bum som1 ur size outsd
Twat2 leaves room

It's not the fact he asked for dogging, it was his second sentence that sealed the deal for me  :D
« Last Edit: 21 August 2011, 07:07:22 pm by Cat_BBW »

Sweet-Pleasure

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 247
  • NIL VOLVPTI, SINE LVCRE
Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1492 on: 21 August 2011, 07:19:02 pm »
Got these last night from B1G0NE on AW, I'm guessing that's Big One, not Bi Gone lol:

Quote
Hi I'm gaz fit muscular young hung horny guy 29 from Washington near newcastle. Are you free tonight? would love to meet you can accom, come to you or meet outdoors for car fun?


077379504**

Gaz
x
Market research time:
Quote
Hi Gaz!

Can I just ask did you read my profile at all?

I've put a lot of effort into making it as easy as possible to read, but I find I still get emails like yours, asking if I'm free on short notice on a Saturday night despite my profile saying

"Working hours: Out Calls - 9am to 7pm Mon to Fri - Late Evenings and Weekends with Advanced Booking Only.

In Calls - 10am to 4pm Monday to Friday- See In Call Tab for Details."

In bold and underlined and on the first page, as well as on 2 other pages.

So I would value your insight, please don't think I am being rude, but I would love to know what made you email me tonight?

Thanks

XxX

Quote
yeah sorry was just really keen to see u tonight so i thought i would try my luck. sorry for bothering you x
Oh wow! So maybe I'm making a break through training them one by one!  :D
Quote
No problem hun, was just looking for a guys POV to improve my profile

Thanks

XxX

Quote
no problem. so u not free at all tonight? x
Or maybe not  :-[
Quote
   
Nope, I am never available on a weekend or evening unless we arrange it before hand

XxX

Quote
awwww gutted so wanted to see u, im fit young hung horny guy 29, only after sampling your bj skills :) would be quick meet? x

Yes because I'm going to get out of my nice warm bed at 11pm, say taraa to my boyfriend, hoping he doesn't ask where I'm going and meet this young stud for a quick shag in the bushes, or travel all the way to his place for the privilege of what will probably he a rather crumpled ?20...
« Last Edit: 21 August 2011, 07:22:16 pm by MissArcaBunny »

Friday

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 989
Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1493 on: 21 August 2011, 07:27:28 pm »
hi there , i was looking through your profile and noticed that you have an amazing body and that you are very pretty but lack in videos to show this off,i would be interested in a night shoot of videos with you to boost our profiles and profit. if you are interested in this please write back so we can organise something ,as we can sort out ownership rights and possibly cash i look forward to hearing from you x

I have 120 videos.... ::)

Sweet-Pleasure

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 247
  • NIL VOLVPTI, SINE LVCRE
Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1494 on: 21 August 2011, 07:33:55 pm »
I have 120 videos.... ::)

That cracked me up!

XxX

xw5

  • Administrator
  • Sr. Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 5,850
    • I should be updating this instead...
Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1495 on: 21 August 2011, 07:40:55 pm »
I have 120 videos.... ::)

Ah yes, but none with him!
'The Ian formerly known as SW5'. What they said: "Indispensable", "You are our best resource", and (hours later!) "I'm afraid that you're being made redundant..."

Winding down YourEscortSite.com

LouLou37

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 807
Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1496 on: 21 August 2011, 07:41:48 pm »
-
« Last Edit: 13 May 2015, 04:21:51 pm by LouLou37 »
"Good things come to those who hustle" Anais Nin

Your Tera

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 263
Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1497 on: 21 August 2011, 07:46:28 pm »
Nobody reads, Friday is right... my profile says I stop working at 10:00 pm and currently shows me unavailable until the end of the week. Missed a call after midnight and I wasn't asleep, so...on a whim, I rang back. He gave me his whole spiel and I explained that had he read further he would have realized the above. He was very nice about it all and seemed very keen. Said he'd hotlist me and be in touch. Whether he will or not, I have no way of knowing but I was so friendly--even suggesting he do a search specific to Available Today and check the ladies' booking hours. He sounded as if he hadn't thought that far in advance but was glad of the advice.
I have a feeling he'll ring back, someday. And, I thought I'd prove to all of you that I'm not always a cold bitch!
x
« Last Edit: 21 August 2011, 07:48:17 pm by Your Tera »

Sweet-Pleasure

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 247
  • NIL VOLVPTI, SINE LVCRE
Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1498 on: 21 August 2011, 07:47:39 pm »
MissArcaBunny, I am definitely going to try your "market research" techniques!  ;D That was hilarious!

Well your "John" sounds like oodles of fun...

I should warn you my market research doesn't always work so I've also added my FAQs -

Quote
Q. I have read your Frequently Asked Questions, do they apply to me?   

A. Yes, they do.

Q. I'm confused, I have a very large penis, do they really apply to me?

A. Yes, they do.

Q. Seriously, I have a very large penis AND I'm very wealthy, do they really apply to me?   

A. Seriously, YES, they really do.

Your Tera

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 263
Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1499 on: 21 August 2011, 07:50:01 pm »

I should warn you my market research doesn't always work so I've also added my FAQs -

Quote
Q. I have read your Frequently Asked Questions, do they apply to me?   

A. Yes, they do.

Q. I'm confused, I have a very large penis, do they really apply to me?

A. Yes, they do.

Confused...what about your FAQs would make him above the law of MissArcaBunny?

Q. Seriously, I have a very large penis AND I'm very wealthy, do they really apply to me?   

A. Seriously, YES, they really do.
[/quote]