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Author Topic: How not to book an escort,world championships!  (Read 2594713 times)

AngelaManchester

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1425 on: 06 August 2011, 01:41:21 pm »
I'm lolling at his name... if he's legit I'm a terrible person

But Seemann

Rofl

 ;D

I know!  You couldn't make it up (well, er, actually, you could  ;D)

Sweet-Pleasure

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1426 on: 06 August 2011, 06:24:22 pm »
Quote
Hi happy to take a long booking.. Canu arrange a little coke to help relax.

I'm not a druggie or anything :-) just a professional guy in his 30,s looking to relax..

Let me know babe

And I'm not a prostitute, just a girl who exchanges sexual favours for money...

Friday

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1427 on: 06 August 2011, 11:53:55 pm »
"I am a Glasgow based photographer/videographer. I am looking for a sexy female for photoand vieo shoots, lots of work available and all PAID jobs. If your interested please get back to me with your details and email address. I hope you reply and look forward to hearing from you. Regards Andy x"

what I always find hilarious about these emails is:

1) I would be classed as a BBW, not that I believe he has lots of work available but if he did I doubt Id fit the bill (he'd have mentioned otherwise. (Also a professional would have probably been more job specific - i think you'd be right for such and such)

2) Of course when they claim this you click on there profile and suprise suprise there photos are shit!!! Seriously dont sell yourself as a photographer when my own photos are better  ::) ::) ::)

3) "PAID jobs" wow! Im so amazed cause I would have done it for free!  ::)

Look out Scottish ladies this offer will be copy and pasted to you soon  ;D

April

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1428 on: 08 August 2011, 07:14:02 pm »
Subject:    hi april

i just had to say hi after seeing your amazing photos and profile :-)

through the ages,
the conventions of beauty may change,
but certain attributes are timeless,
kindness,pretty face,gorgeous figure,
you possess them all in abundance

xx paul

That's all great, but I have no idea what he wants ???

Coty

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1429 on: 08 August 2011, 07:21:25 pm »
Subject:    hi april

i just had to say hi after seeing your amazing photos and profile :-)

through the ages,
the conventions of beauty may change,
but certain attributes are timeless,
kindness,pretty face,gorgeous figure,
you possess them all in abundance

xx paul

That's all great, but I have no idea what he wants ???

OMG.......this guy is a dick! I had that same 'poem' a few weeks back and he's done nothing but text me since. Tries to act like a poet but just wants a freebie by being charming! Beware!



Tiny Edit by Emily: Fixed quotes.
« Last Edit: 08 August 2011, 07:26:03 pm by EmilyJones »

Kitty_of_Herts

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1430 on: 09 August 2011, 12:44:31 am »
through the ages,
the conventions of beauty may change,
but certain attributes are timeless,
kindness,pretty face,gorgeous figure,
you possess them all in abundance
I had that same 'poem' a few weeks back and he's done nothing but text me since.

Me too. Sent a reply of "ummm, thanks" and got this not at all weird reply:
Quote
      
thank you for taking the time to reply to my email..it was most appreciated..it put a big smile on my face as you can imagine....your photos in your gallery are so sexxxy...mmmmm...have a good day and stay well..

Your beauty and charm is comparable to the stars,
its pure and clear,and it will shine on forever,
not to be dimmed or thwarted by time,
just like a pristine,flawless,diamond....x paul

I'm scared that one day I'll be reading my AW mail and the wind'll change mid eye-roll  ::)


April

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1431 on: 09 August 2011, 02:55:50 am »

I'm scared that one day I'll be reading my AW mail and the wind'll change mid eye-roll  ::)


Haha  ;D I just deleted it without responding so sadly no more poetry for me :(

Friday

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1432 on: 09 August 2011, 03:29:57 pm »
I'm sure I've seen someone else post a similar conversation.

Me: Hello this is Friday
Him: Is this Friday?
Me Yes
Him: Sorry wrong number

 ???

April

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1433 on: 09 August 2011, 10:21:33 pm »
Just got this email

Quote
hey baby how u doing , I'm bored y not send me pictures of your gorgeous self to entertain me.

Oh okay, let me just get my camera  ::)

Friday

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1434 on: 09 August 2011, 10:55:29 pm »
Just got this email

Quote
hey baby how u doing , I'm bored y not send me pictures of your gorgeous self to entertain me.

Oh okay, let me just get my camera  ::)


to be fair that soooo deserves an offensive email back like.. "im bored to send me a pic of your tiny cock so I can laugh at it"  :o

Your Tera

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1435 on: 09 August 2011, 10:57:22 pm »

to be fair that soooo deserves an offensive email back like.. "im bored to send me a pic of your tiny cock so I can laugh at it"  :o
[/quote]

As my friend Martin used to say, "Harsh. But fair."

Coty

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1436 on: 09 August 2011, 11:52:00 pm »
through the ages,
the conventions of beauty may change,
but certain attributes are timeless,
kindness,pretty face,gorgeous figure,
you possess them all in abundance
I had that same 'poem' a few weeks back and he's done nothing but text me since.

Me too. Sent a reply of "ummm, thanks" and got this not at all weird reply:
Quote
      
thank you for taking the time to reply to my email..it was most appreciated..it put a big smile on my face as you can imagine....your photos in your gallery are so sexxxy...mmmmm...have a good day and stay well..

Your beauty and charm is comparable to the stars,
its pure and clear,and it will shine on forever,
not to be dimmed or thwarted by time,
just like a pristine,flawless,diamond....x paul

I'm scared that one day I'll be reading my AW mail and the wind'll change mid eye-roll  ::)



Got that one too. And several others.
He text today and I replied...thanks for giving myself a a few other escorts a good laugh with your cheesy poems.
He replied and said he was flattered we were talking about him!
So I said....Thanks, that's just proved what we all thought about you being a total twat......delete/block! lol

sweet jane

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1437 on: 10 August 2011, 12:47:36 am »
just got this:

'Any chance you would feel sorry for a jobless loser with no credits and let me see you on cam. I also have cam if you want to see. Even if you're clothed. :( please'

I mean tempting as this is, why can't he just use the free preview ?

Amber Sweetpetite

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1438 on: 10 August 2011, 07:52:45 am »

Please let me be the only one he has contacted!!

HI, Im Trevor Seemann and i am on vacation..When i looked you up on site,i loved your profile so i  decided to contact you..I am on 2 weeks vacation and would like to know if you  can spend  2 days with me..Please let me know how much it will cost me and what are the terms...Im looking forward to read back from you asap..You can also check me up on facebook Tblahblah...  Cheers

Regards
Trevor

Hi Trevor

When exactly were you thinking of?

Sara xxx (Awaiting with baited breath!)

Hey babe,thanks for writing back..I looked you up on adultfinder web , Like i said previously, i will handle your flight and trip expense so you got nothing to worry about,all i need is your good company and services..Im willing to pay you ?2000 for 2 days, hope we are cool with that ? My Details are below:

Name: Trevor Seemann
Nick Name: Trev
Status: Divorced
Occupation: Gynecologist/Self employed/Little Saint Orphanage
Age: 43
Hair Color: Black
Height: 6.2ft
Phone: 9798718498
Ethnicity: Italian/American Mixed
Residential:San Diego,California
Location of Vacation/Visiting: Amsterdam, Netherlands
Date of appointment:Aug 25  to Aug 28
Nearest Airport: The Hague Airport Rotterdam Amsterdam, Netherlands
Hotel: Golden Tulip Rotterdam Airport Hotel
Best Way to get in touch: Email,Phone,Fax

N:B I will use condoms because i cant have unprotected sex more so if you don't like  kissing cumming in the mouth or face, i'm okay with that just be ready to make me feel good..

I will pay you half by check and the rest By cash upon arrival so Get back to me with your location,full name,phone number,address and zip code for payment issuance.....Write me back asap and let me know what you feel...I will call  you asap...Cheers

Regards
Trevor

I feel so lucky lol!

Had that one lol!

natasha

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1439 on: 12 August 2011, 08:33:33 pm »
A while back, a young (I think he said he was Lithuanian) man offered me a camcorder instead of cash for my services (he didn't mention when booking that he wanted to barter).
When I declined, he proceeded to 'sweeten the deal' by pulling a bottle of cheap plonk out of his rucksack, and offered to throw that in as well.
When I failed to be tempted by his generous offer, he requested credit, he assured me he would definitely bring the money to me the next day...

Today a client ringing for 'details' was a real charmer.
Him: "Is the place clean?"
Me: "Pardon???"
Him " Well is it in Good Order? Are you a Drug Addict"
Me "If you phoned a mechanic to service your car, would you ask them if they were on drugs?"
Him " Er no, but You People"......
Me  click
Grrrrrr!!
Let go of my ears! I know what I'm doing!