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Author Topic: How not to book an escort,world championships!  (Read 2595108 times)

EmilyJones

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1095 on: 24 May 2011, 01:01:33 pm »
As it started I felt a bit sorry for him, by the end (using the word hun immediately had my back up!) I wanted to kick him between the legs! Why don't these guys join dating sites...plenty of women there for free!!! Grrrr

Yeah, it's tempting to go "Aww, you poor silly fool" but actually, I'm pretty sure they're 100% aware that they are looking on Adult*work* and therefore should be paying for the services they're after. Tis just a copy & paste bombardment in the hopes of finding someone unfortunate enough to fall for it and that's what makes me cross; certain people out there obviously get off on manipulating people more than they get off on actual consensual (paid for, if necessary) sex. They're not nice people! (Hence probably not having a great deal of luck on the dating sites, either...)
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Amanda

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1096 on: 25 May 2011, 03:18:20 pm »
This little charmer is now saved as "Knobhead, Caithness". I will cherish our text conversation forever...

26/03 "Is this Amanda" I didn't bother answering.
28/03 "U not gettin back. What is your prices" Ditto
28/03 "When u back to caithness" Still nothing from me
01/04 "Is this amanda. When u next in caithness" and nada from me...
18/04  "Is this amanda x" I must have been feeling mellow, maybe it was the kiss that swayed me :)
Me: "Yes, this is Amanda"
Him: "When u next in caithness x"
Me: "I'm in Caithness now"
Him: "When u available x"
Me: "I'm available for an outcall this evening. That's all I've got this week"
Him: "Where could we meet up x"
Me: "At your home or hotel"
Him: "Are u busy x" I didn't answer that
Him: "Ok so do you drive. How much is 1 hour. Do u mind am only 20 x"
Me: "Yes, ?150, no" Getting bored now...
Him: "Could we meet in the dark so we aint seen x"
Me: "Do you mean you want me to arrive at your place in the dark or do you actually think I'm going to shag you in my car?"
Him: "In the car. Do u dress up x"
Me: "In the car? Seriously? I always dress to impress"
Him: "Yeah that's fine. So what uniforms u got and do u do anal x"
Me: "I don't do car meets, I don't do uniforms, I don't do anal and I don't do YOU!"
Him: "What why not. I want a meet 2 nit x"
Me: "I am not the girl you're looking for" Why am I still replying?
Him: "Well u are. I want an older woman for sex without my girlfriend finding out"
Him: "So do u want to or not" I thought we'd covered that?
28/04 "Are u in caithness 2moro nit"
03/05 When are u in caithness"

I love this guy! I want to marry him and have his babies!
*Flushes phone down the loo"


kimba

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1097 on: 25 May 2011, 06:28:52 pm »
Fabulous Amanda! ;D - And they say this is easy money??!

Got the following call at 10.30 this morning;

Him: What you up to?( sniffs loudly )
Me:    Do I know you?
Him:  You've been before. I'm in Oldham. ( more sniffing )
Me:    Ok..
Him:  Can you be here by 11? ( ditto ..)
Me:    No, it would be 12pm ( boring explanation needed of why such a delay is required, involving time and travel duration of 1 hour plus and the fact I am still in my PJ's reading the latest about Giggsy  :) ..
Him:  Ok. We'll call it ?100 yeh?
ME:    Er, no..
Him:  That's what I paid before
Me:     No, you did not.
Him: Yeh, I paid ?120 and you stayed for 45 minutes
Me:    That's different, I could stay for 30 minutes for ?100 ?
Him:  ?80 for 30 minutes then ( heavy sniffing now, am getting concerned )
Me:    Look, you don't sound very well..?
Him:  Just got up 'ant a'? ..
Me:    Well, I won't come to be honest. I don't haggle over my rate and I don't need to make a 2 hour trip for ?80 as I am busy enough thanks.
Him: YOU F*****G OLD S**G!!! YOU'RE JUST A F*****G SCUZZY OLD TART!!! DIRTY F******G  WH*RE!!

Hmm, wonder if I made the right decision there? Missing him already! ;D
Do you think he kisses his girlfriend with that mouth?? :-\
« Last Edit: 25 May 2011, 06:34:30 pm by kimba »

EmilyJones

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1098 on: 25 May 2011, 07:45:02 pm »
Him: YOU F*****G OLD S**G!!! YOU'RE JUST A F*****G SCUZZY OLD TART!!! DIRTY F******G  WH*RE!!

Oh my god, seriously? :-X I literally cannot imagine what causes thoughts like that to even appear in someone's brain, let alone then be allowed to spew out of their stupid gob. Ugh! Perhaps he was born in a barn and never found his way out of it til today.

Anyway, if he was doing drugs (the sniffing?) at 10.30 in the morning then his brain is probably going to fall out of his nose soon and it won't help that it's obviously small and under-developed. What an absolute horror of a person.

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Simone

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1099 on: 26 May 2011, 10:40:21 am »
Got this email this morning and I couldn't resist sharing :)


Hi there, my name is (seriously deluded) and I?m a 19 year old single guy living in ( misguided hope) at the moment. I came across you on (A sight that you really shouldn't be looking up at Uni, you naughty boy) because I'm looking to book a session with an escort.

 You may find this a bit strange but let me explain my situation etc.

I have had a few sexual experiences so far. They have been with girls my own age and level of competence and to be honest they haven?t been the best.

I'm not the most outgoing guy so when I hook up with a girl I'd like to have decent skills. My skills at the moment aren't great.
I'm looking to find a woman with more experience (how to say that without sounding insulting?) to help me learn how to get the best out of what I've got. You being an escort are probably one of the more experienced people around.

Really, I just want to learn how to pleasure a woman completely. And what better way than to learn from someone as beautiful as yourself. I feel that I will enjoy sex a whole lot more if the girl enjoys, or at least acts like they are enjoying my efforts. I would like to spend some time with you for some "tuition"; lets say.  I want to be taught how to improve.

 I do however have a particularly large problem with booking escorts. I am a student at the moment and I hope you can appreciate I don't have the kind of money your rate requires to just spend on an escort. I don't work at the moment either. I was hoping my proposition would interest you enough so I might we might be able to come to some sort of arrangement regarding cost. I would rather pay for it in some other way if that?s possible. I'm sorry that sounds so cheeky.

Could you let me know either way. I've never asked anyone this before and I know the answer will be a no, but thought I'd try my luck anyway. It?s basically a plea for help.

Yours in anticipation

O x

So what do you think ladies and gents, should I take him up on his heartwarming 'plea for help'. Because he doesn't mind if I am only pretending to enjoy it as long as I am happy to teach him the ways of lovemaking for no money ;D After all he hasn't got the sort of cash to 'just' give to a woman like me!

And he's only 19! can you imagine what he is going to be like by 29 if he continues down that path of thought? :o It fair chills you to the bone it does.



LeticiaMorgan

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1100 on: 26 May 2011, 11:00:15 am »

I would rather pay for it in some other way if that?s possible. .

He would rather - makes him sound like he has an option between paying for it or something else.

Cheeky bugger. Send him packing! Tell him if he's a good boy, studies hard and gets a well-paying job, maybe one day he can aspire to book an escort and actually pay for it.

Friday

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1101 on: 26 May 2011, 12:46:09 pm »
Tell him he can work for you too earn the money (which he has to do first of course) and you know loads of guys looking for young fresh meat to play with so he can earn you money and increase his experience at the same time!! lol  ;D

Bargain if you ask me  ;)

Dionne

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1102 on: 26 May 2011, 12:58:32 pm »
Lmao Friday!!!

sammy s

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1103 on: 26 May 2011, 03:01:36 pm »
Got this email earlier:

Hello
I'm looking to offer you a complimentary full body  massage which I can guarantee will relax you very much. I am training in the art of massage at the moment and need to find people to practice on, and who better than an escort who is comfortable with being naked already?
The booking would consist of massage to the back, shoulders, neck, head, legs, buttocks and breasts. You would, of course, need to be fully nude and to make you feel more comfortable I would be nude too.
This service is strictly non sexual and is purely just a massage. I can also help with an assisted shower to give you a full body scrub afterwards to exfoliate the skin.
I will visit you in your own home and provide the massage couch, oils and scrub. The booking will take 2 hours.
Many Thanks



ERRRR HELLO?! A NON SEXUAL SERVICE? Honestly, this man must take us all for fools.
Clearly an attempt for someone to live out their fantasy and get to touch a naked woman for 2 hours. If he's going to be naked too then surely he's going to get an erection?! Why the hell would he need to be naked? Or me for that matter. Whenever I have had a professional full body massage I have always kept my pants on and been covered up with towels. He's then talking about getting into the shower with me?
I would put money on the fact that this man is a pervy, old troll hoping to come across a niave young woman to satisfy his fantasy.

EmilyJones

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1104 on: 26 May 2011, 03:52:38 pm »
I would put money on the fact that this man is a pervy, old troll hoping to come across a niave young woman to satisfy his fantasy.

He's almost sad in his transparency, isn't he? ???
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amy

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1105 on: 26 May 2011, 04:02:40 pm »
That one really is vile, though - I know most of them are just funny or stupid but that was so sleazy it actually made my skin crawl, and the thought that somebody might actually fall for it is even worse. And to think they walk among us  ;D.

scottishmilf

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1106 on: 26 May 2011, 04:12:43 pm »
I dont normally reply to these types of emails but i couldnt help it, for some reason it annoyed me
Quote
hi there,

my name is "X", i live in glasgow alone i got my own place..

you are looking amazing in ya photos,

anytime anyday you like 2 come to glasgow you can stay in my place i will treat you so good, you can stay as long you like,, just thinkin come to my place is like a holiday

i am a very looking guy, so handsome, i got a 10inc cock very hard i can fuck all night some ladies run away some cant handle it i will go easy on you with easy i will treat u like a queen

call me on 0123456789


Quote
If you are not wanting to make a booking then I am ok as I have friends who also live Glasgow, and they are kind enough to let me stay with them for free and without having to sleep with them

Thanks anyway,

Quote
u can stay with me anytime u dnt av 2 sleep over me ok


urgh men. sometimes they are just so stupid. gotta love his use of grammar and spelling LOL
BLOCKED.

Formally known as Mia-may however I have changed my name (and whole escorting persona) for personal reasons, hope you all don't mind :D

Friday

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1107 on: 26 May 2011, 08:06:02 pm »
Hi there,

we are a couple looking for new friendships. If you are interested in knowing more please send us an email.

Gabby & Ben


I have no idea?!  ???

Friday

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1108 on: 26 May 2011, 11:00:27 pm »
Must be my night!  :o

Hello
I saw your profile today and it was so good to me.u know that i am interested to be a friend first.i also believe that coming to you will be a probability of meeting that very love that has been lacking in my entire life. please i will like you to contact me direct to my e-mail address,
 i dont know the posebility of remaing in forum for long time,i will give you a full introduction of my self with my pictures ok. i will be waiting for your mail to my e-mail adsdress, as you know
there is no age,race,colour n religion bar when it comes to true love,
cares *some lonely wierdo*.

Kiko

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #1109 on: 27 May 2011, 04:10:02 pm »
Must be my night!  :o

Hello
I saw your profile today and it was so good to me.u know that i am interested to be a friend first.i also believe that coming to you will be a probability of meeting that very love that has been lacking in my entire life. please i will like you to contact me direct to my e-mail address,
 i dont know the posebility of remaing in forum for long time,i will give you a full introduction of my self with my pictures ok. i will be waiting for your mail to my e-mail adsdress, as you know
there is no age,race,colour n religion bar when it comes to true love,
cares *some lonely wierdo*.


Awesome! Sounds like my kinda guy! Haha!  :D
I am not selling sex! I'm selling condoms with free demonstration!