HIM: Can I see you at 11.30 for a quicky?
ME: Sure.  It's £40 and I am at Premier Inn EX1 1**
HIM: What sort of property is it?
ME: A cowshed, naturally.  Why?
HIM: Look: I'm not from the area, so I don't know.  And it's your job to explain where you are.
ME: Let's just leave it, then.  Take care.
HIM: Ok, I am sure I can find you.  Can I still come?
ME: Sure.  Call when you are here.
HIM: Nah, there is too much friction.  I'll leave it.
ME: Well, at least you can separate fact from friction...

What a Div lol You clearly said name of hotel and still wants to know where you are.

Exactly, DD!
Haha!

...Nah I'll pass mate, plenty of other normal blokes out there who just want to book me, turn up, drain their balls and bugger off.

+100!
Haha!

Hi you!

Wow! What an incredible person you sound like. I thoroughly loved reading your profile. You seem like such a smart, worldly woman.
I would love to spend some time with you. Although I do not pay for this kind of thing- how degrading to you! I will spend time with you because I WANT to, not because I view you as just a hole to stick myself in.
Trust me, you’ll realize that this is how you should be treated.

Why do you sell yourself like you do?

Can’t wait to make some gorgeous memories together,

Love Jim

Begins planning Beth & Jim’s wedding 👰🏼. I’ll need everyone’s email for the Evite invitations, thanks!!!

Beth dear, what are your colors going to be? Do you need someone to help you cake🍰test? Volunteers. 🙋🏼‍♀️

Hi you!

Wow! What an incredible person you sound like. I thoroughly loved reading your profile. You seem like such a smart, worldly woman.
I would love to spend some time with you. Although I do not pay for this kind of thing- how degrading to you! I will spend time with you because I WANT to, not because I view you as just a hole to stick myself in.
Trust me, you’ll realize that this is how you should be treated.

Why do you sell yourself like you do?

Can’t wait to make some gorgeous memories together,

Love Jim

I've now heard it all. 

Beth he sounds lovely, what's wrong with you? Haha what a chancer. I cannot imagine this has worked with any escort so why he still sends this cut and paste I've no idea. 🤔.

I'm pretty sure I've had that one too, and I can confirm it doesn't work .

Him: do you mind me asking how many clients you have seen today as want to be cautious in the current climate? Please don't take offence and if you don't want to answer I understand.

Me: yes I do mind, it is my job and none of your business and if you're that concerned you shouldn't be booking an escort in the first place.


Had another one a couple of weeks ago

Him: I want to make a booking but I'm really nervous about coronavirus, do you do any social distancing in bookings?

Me: well I can get my tits out and wank on one side of the bed and you wank on the other


Whoever said there is no such thing as a stupid question??

Beth he sounds lovely, what's wrong with you?...

That's more or less what I was going to say, haha!