Even the thought totally turns the stomach!

I suspect it was some idiot messing about.  Surely no one can be that vile

You will find that it is a thing, not that common but it is definitely a thing. Not a thing I could do. I mean, how do you do it on demand anyway? 

 

Well what can I say; look at how he signs his name, yup seriously. Also all the bold text he highlighted in RED....

Hi *****

WOW! I see from your Twitter page that you are amazing.  You are beautiful, gorgeous for a ** year old!

I will be in England on the weekend of ******. Would it be possible to arrange an appointment?

I am the shy type!! I'm ** and my problem is that I lack serious confidence with women, hence I have yet to sleep with a lady!

At this hour of my life, you would think that I would have lost my virginity by now. I know it's embarrassing to admit!!!!!

 #Horny*****

Please tell me someone else got the farting BJ email on AW...?

Sadly not! I'd go for that, as long as it was ME farting, otherwise Nooooooooooooooooo....

In How Not To Book An Escort News - just had a call from a very friendly, polite, old sounding guy wanting to book for an hour's time. No problem, text me in 15 mins when you leave. Ok. Five minutes later, same guy calls me "hello, are you available today?" as if we've never spoken! I told him he just called me. He hung up.

What the fuck?! 

Please tell me someone else got the farting BJ email on AW...?

Bit gutted about missing out on this... I can produce some right rippers.

Anyway... 'how are you precious diamond' appeared which I'm sure I've read on here.

Well, guess at least I'm special!

Hi,

I'd like to enquire about a service you probably haven't done before, tbh neither have I.  I have only ever done "vanilla" bookings over the years.
Basically I'd like to have a blowjob were you fart repeatedly throughout whilst sucking. Now I know the only way to achieve this would be by going to the toilet for a you know what. So if possible I'd like to find a lady willing to eat or drink whatever makes her really gassy or need a raging shite, and then force it all out on the toilet whilst giving me a blowjob.

I cum quick from bjs so it wouldn't take long. And I'm a polite clean, well off and handsome man.  All I ask is that you push and fart whilst sucking me off.  I'm willing to pay £250 for a 5-10 minute blowjob due to the nature of this task.  If this is something you can do I'd like to hear back from you. Thanks x

 

Send him my way! And he can pay for the massive Domino's I'd need in advance of the booking...

In How Not To Book An Escort News - just had a call from a very friendly, polite, old sounding guy wanting to book for an hour's time. No problem, text me in 15 mins when you leave. Ok. Five minutes later, same guy calls me "hello, are you available today?" as if we've never spoken! I told him he just called me. He hung up.

What the fuck?! 

Classic example of those men who are ringing any number who will answer but don't have the sense to write down and tick off those they have already called.  I doubt they ever book anyone at all.

I like catching them out on this and imagining their squirming on the other end of the phone.

.