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Author Topic: How not to book an escort,world championships!  (Read 2594689 times)

Lola xxx

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #12735 on: 30 April 2018, 02:24:28 pm »
I had a text the other day that simply said.....how much to watch you take a shit?  I'm guessing they where taking the piss, but wtf if not.
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SimplySinful

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #12736 on: 30 April 2018, 02:28:10 pm »
Quote from: chocoholicgirl on 30 April 2018, 02:16:03 pm
By text. All possible translations welcome!

"Sex Richard"

then

"Sex I am smoking Richard"

That's it. The mind boggles!  :D :D :D

I'm having a shitty day, and that made me LOL!
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chocoholicgirl

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #12737 on: 30 April 2018, 10:09:47 pm »
Quote from: SimplySinful on 30 April 2018, 02:28:10 pm
I'm having a shitty day, and that made me LOL!

Richard was happy to oblige!  :D
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Rosesugar

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #12738 on: 30 April 2018, 10:27:05 pm »
Quote from: jo-jo on 30 April 2018, 11:39:38 am
Phonecall:

HIM: Hey baby, How much
ME: Please don't call me baby. What service are you after
HIM:Oh sorry. I want to fuck you babyyyyy.
ME: please dont call me babyyyy.
HIM:Can I see you at 2 pm babyyyyyy?
ME: No. I hang up. Save him a NO NO NO.


(extra 'yyyy' to emphasize the way he said baby. Made me want to gag)

Anyone calls me baby darling honey is always a timewaster
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katrina

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #12739 on: 30 April 2018, 10:34:43 pm »
A text just now from someone I've already told my available times to previously:

"ARE YOU FREE"

"NO I'M EXPENSIVE"

 ::)
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jo-jo

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #12740 on: 30 April 2018, 10:50:07 pm »
 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

Quote from: chocoholicgirl on 30 April 2018, 02:16:03 pm
By text. All possible translations welcome!

"Sex Richard"

then

"Sex I am smoking Richard"

That's it. The mind boggles!  :D :D :D
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Never criticize someone until you've walked a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, they won't be able to hear you from that far away. Plus, you'll have their shoes.

katrina

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #12741 on: 30 April 2018, 10:52:28 pm »
Hi, you look like you know what you want I'm a late 40's bloke from (an area) with a non interested partner where sex is. I'm a decent looking bloke in decent nick, very clean and non smoker What are your rates xx


I haven't the heart to tell him my rates are the same for all, regardless of whether he looks and smells like Rab C nesbitt or Johnny Depp  :P  ;D
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Wailing Banshee

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #12742 on: 01 May 2018, 02:14:35 pm »
Blokes that hang up the minute you say you aren't going to be available for when they want. It takes 10 seconds to say 'Never mind, another time maybe' or something like that and it is so rude just to hang up without a goodbye.

Those ones get saved as 'Do not answer' so they'll never get a booking with me. My view is if they don't have basic manners I don't want them in my flat.
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Rosesugar

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #12743 on: 02 May 2018, 02:19:10 pm »
One I turned down this afternoon  because he was totally clueless and may as well be a timewaster
Calls up says err don't  really know what I want maybe roleplay kind of thing, don't think I know .
I don't do this that often, not sure at which point I said
Ok I think it's best you decided what you really want before calling escorts bye .
He was still rambling on when I cut the call 
« Last Edit: 02 May 2018, 02:21:04 pm by Sugar xxx »
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Lucy36

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #12744 on: 03 May 2018, 08:29:52 pm »
This came through on mine and hubbies work phone

Hi I'm Peter, was wondering if you could roleplay where you put me on your kitchen worktop and cover me in olive oil and treat me like a piece of meat

We replied with are you sure you'll fit in you'd fit in our oven.

Where do they get these ideas from?? ???
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Hannaah

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #12745 on: 04 May 2018, 02:17:57 pm »
Sent at 4.16am: How much half hour shag

How charming!
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VoluptuousCurves

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #12746 on: 04 May 2018, 05:45:24 pm »
Quote from: Lucy36 on 03 May 2018, 08:29:52 pm
This came through on mine and hubbies work phone

Hi I'm Peter, was wondering if you could roleplay where you put me on your kitchen worktop and cover me in olive oil and treat me like a piece of meat

We replied with are you sure you'll fit in you'd fit in our oven.

Where do they get these ideas from?? ???

Oh I had him years ago in Brighton. Think it was sundried tomatoes he wanted to be covered in. I said only if he brought his own because I shop at Aldi and they don't do them :D
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And me, I am not a mess, I am a wilderness, yes
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amy

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #12747 on: 04 May 2018, 06:24:21 pm »
Quote from: VoluptuousCurves on 04 May 2018, 05:45:24 pm
Oh I had him years ago in Brighton. Think it was sundried tomatoes he wanted to be covered in. I said only if he brought his own because I shop at Aldi and they don't do them :D

Yeah, he's been around for ever, although I just delete them without bothering to reply. His most common one was wanting to be sold to a Chinese takeaway ::).
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BibiofLeeds

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #12748 on: 04 May 2018, 11:26:14 pm »
Quote from: amy on 04 May 2018, 06:24:21 pm
Yeah, he's been around for ever, although I just delete them without bothering to reply. His most common one was wanting to be sold to a Chinese takeaway ::).
Yep had him text me that and my mate within minutes of each other!
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SimplySinful

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #12749 on: 05 May 2018, 05:38:41 pm »
[Subject: PLEASE CONSIDER
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Hi
Looks very impressive !!
I would really enjoy giving you a lot of oral and rimming to you only,in various positions,as wellas gentle suckling
I do not require penetration so offer £X for 2 hour booking
hope you may consider tomorrow afternoon
Regards
Dx
english

No you can’t offer me £60 under my 2 hr fee to see me or even get a reply!
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