Got this gem on AW message last night:

Hi,

I am a angler who goes night fishing.

I have a fantasy where I am joined on one of these trips by a beautiful stranger.

Do you think you can help with this?

Please get in touch.

It still really annoys me when the guy has clearly not read my profile or website, but still somehow manages to get my mobile number correct 

To whom it may concern,

I?m Corporal Robert ******  and I am currently serving in the British armed forces. I have recently returned from a 9 month overseas deployment. I have returned to the UK early to arrange a Christmas/ welcome home function for the rest of my platoon, who return home just in time for Christmas.

I am emailing you today to ask if your company would care to donate a prize to the raffle that will take place during the function. Any donation, no matter how big or small, would be greatly appreciated and I am certain it would help to boost morale within the platoon after a difficult time away from loved ones.

Also, if you would like to send me leaflets, business cards or catalogues then I would happily distribute them around the accommodation and dining facility to promote your company.

Thank you for taking the time to read this email and I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Kind regards


Rob ******

Phone call, all the usual blurb, how far are you from X, what time are you free....establish a time...then

Me: How long would you like?

Him: Half an hour for X

Me: I don?t do half hours (due to current touring location only doing 1 hr plus which is clear on my profile 

Him: Half hour for X Half hour for X (more money)

Me: No darling I hour, it?s clear on my profile.

Him. So the minimum is X? Can you tell me what services you provide for it?

Me: No you can read all that on my profile.

Clearly the numptie had not read ANYTHING, was just a cheapskate and hadn?t read what I provided 

Yeh  told him he was clearly on the wrong website if he?s looking for donations.

And leaflets & catalogues 

Got this gem on AW message last night:

Hi,

I am a angler who goes night fishing.

I have a fantasy where I am joined on one of these trips by a beautiful stranger.

Do you think you can help with this?

Please get in touch.

Had exactly the same message!

A tedious long winded email from an obviously insincere fantasist with 0 feedback.


Hi, you have a great profile and look and sound amazing. I have a friend who has a stag coming up and I've been asked on behalf of the group to seek out a unique experience for the groom to be.

If this is not for you I am sorry to have wasted your time. However, if it's something you would or could consider (feel free to make suggestions if you want things to work differently) then please read on as a few of the guys are definitely interested in your services.

We had in mind a group sex session with you. This would involve up to 10 to 12 guys (including the groom to be).

The fantasy and thus theme for the event is group sex with a pregnant lady.

The guys are keen on French Kissing and OWO. That's the only specific requests. Apart from that we are happy to work with what you offer.

Given you are pregnant, I thought it best for you to have one on one sex with each one at a time (say 15 to 30 mins per guy). It's a GFE they each want but they seek that with a pregnant lady as that's what would make it special and memorable.

So my question is could you handle up to12 guys for the event?

Position wise I presume missionary and doggie is all that would be required, and all they expect as extras is French Kissing and OWO as I mentioned.

All guys would be respectful and gentle with you as we respect you are pregnant and want you to remain comfortable and safe so please be assured no issue there. What would be great though is if you could make each sex session with each guy more intimate and special though by making it feel passionate and more akin to love making. So let each guy caress your body and pregnant belly etc.

How far pregnant are you now and are you able to engage in sexual penetration?

Feel free to ask any questions you may have and please let me know asapif this is something you could accommodate or at least consider and we can work with you to arrange an experience you would feel comfortable to provide.

I look forward to hearing back from you asap. Thanks xxx
 

 

Ok... that's as close as I've ever been to actually vomiting from one of these...

Also, just what?  "Make love" to TWELVE MEN IN A ROW?  A pregnant woman.  What?!
I don't want to be presumptuous about your pregnancy, but I would think it makes everything a touch more tiring at the least!  The whole thing is just gross, but I guess maybe that's what he was going for... Although there are an awful lot of pleasantries if he were going for shock value, which makes it even more nauseating.

Bless.  Hope you get plenty nice ones too.

Got a text from someone this morning asking if I cater to stag parties, could be the same guy doing the rounds not been asked that in about eight or nine months.

A stag party? why not go for it.
You could charge them all your usual rate per hour each, (with a small discount)  and end up with 10x your usual rate.