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Author Topic: How not to book an escort,world championships!  (Read 2594754 times)

Alison381

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #11835 on: 06 October 2017, 12:25:07 pm »
Him: Hello is that Alison?
Me: Yes it is
Him: Can I ask what you look like?
Me: If you have this number you will know what I look like as all my adverts have up to date photos
Him: I was given your number by a friend so ive not seen any pictures
Me (while thinking ffs): Ok what did your friend say about me?
Him: He said you are an escort and you are cheap
Me: How cheap did he say I was?
Him: *quotes 1/4 of my rate*
Me: right your so called mate has lied to you as I charge *tells him my full rates*
Him: Im just looking at your photos and theres no way you are worth that amount
Me: goodbye!

What a little shit!!
?Some say that a woman that trades her body for money is a whore, if that is the case, then a woman that trades her body for flattery and kind words is just a whore that is not paid as well.?
― Carl R White

Lucie268

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #11836 on: 06 October 2017, 02:56:54 pm »
'Subject:   An admirer


Her style in words and pictures show,
With curves and dress leave feelings so,
With sun and travel she gives you taunt,
Her emotions deep her longing want,
What sweet voice have this beauty must,
To take control your inner lust,
And bring you chance her way so keen,
To find out more this Sri Lankan Queen...



To you madam I bid hello, don't worry, you have not a strange one nor a stalker lol, your profile has had much attention, and to give anything less than appreciation for such efforts would be an insult.

I wonder how late you see people, i'm a late riser and wonder when is the last booking you take at night if I was to be wanton in your company for an hour?

Not tonight but in general that I may plan a visit if you would have me to your palace.

I live in the South Side too, I await for your return.....

xxx'

Okay first of all SIR, I am not a whore of yore from times gone past???? Did he think he could woo me with those rhyming couplets? Nay you insult me. I bite my thumb at you, sir.

Gypsy

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #11837 on: 06 October 2017, 03:37:43 pm »
It makes me laugh just how stupid some men think we are  ;D

Phone rings from a guy who asks my location. Then he says he wants to buy my used knickers. How much do I charge. I said two pairs will cost ?10.

Okay. Am I wearing any now? Yes  ::)

How about he comes round to watch me take them off and he'll give me a 20 and go.

Yeeeeah right, mate. I'm that desperate! Don't think so somehow!

Sounded a right pretentious prat too  :D
These days there are no Prince Charmings. A girl just has to be her own hero

Treetop

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #11838 on: 06 October 2017, 04:39:47 pm »
Omg... 😂   this has to be the best worst one I've seen!

BibiofLeeds

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    • www.bibibustyescort.co.uk
Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #11839 on: 06 October 2017, 05:02:55 pm »
Yet another freebie hunter!!!First of all he answers a shout from downstairs and then says it's his mum!Then he asks if it's a non rush service because he wants 90 mins and then ummed and aahed because I told him if he pays for 90 mins he gets 90 mins (obviously thought because he claimed to be visually impaired I'd give him extra time!)Then when I told him the price for 90 mins he ummed and aahed and decided on an hour (he reckoned he couldn't read the rates due to his impairment yet he could read where I was based and the fact I offer 90 mins in the first place!).
I asked him to confirm on the day and told him my rough location,he told me he would be getting off at the bus station which is a landmark of mine anyway so I explained it was a 3 min walk and I could direct him from there but he wanted me to be more specific with my address..er nope!The cherry on the timewaster cake though was him asking if I could call him and 'tease' him as he was on his way over cos honest he would def be showing up!I bluntly told him that teasing and anything else happened in his paid for time and as he couldn't seem to grasp that we would be leaving it!

dalish

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #11840 on: 06 October 2017, 06:10:37 pm »
So most of my stupids have jut been the standard morons that don't read my profile, but I finally got a chap that takes the cake!

"what of these things are you okay with if any.

face spitting,
face slapping
face fucking
spanking
smoking a joint while you deepthroat/facefuck
flicking ash over you while verbally degrading( cold ash)"

If anyone wants him, he's all yours ladies! I mean, I'd take this charmer up myself but I need to wash my hair.  For the next six months.   ;D

English natural beauty

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #11841 on: 07 October 2017, 12:02:44 am »
Today I had

Do you smoke weed babes?

I replied why on earth would I want to smoke drugs with a stranger and why on earth would I want to smoke dugs when I am pregnant?

He replied sorry I didn't think about that part.


DONT SUPPOSE YOU DID YOU FUCKING RETARD
Sometimes I think that I could die from an overdose of satisfaction. -Salvador Dali

Schwiftysquancher91

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #11842 on: 07 October 2017, 07:47:39 am »
Today I had

Do you smoke weed babes?

I replied why on earth would I want to smoke drugs with a stranger and why on earth would I want to smoke dugs when I am pregnant?

He replied sorry I didn't think about that part.


DONT SUPPOSE YOU DID YOU FUCKING RETARD

What a piggin' numpty.

Me:- hello (me) speaking?
Him:- yeawhereyou (literally said just like that)
Me:- pardon?
Him:- whereyou
Me:- Come again? (I know what he has said I'm trying to make him realise this!)
Him:- whereyou
Me:- that's not going to get you a booking is it?
Him:- yea 'iight bye...
Me:-  ::)
'I don't know, its like there's a light at the end of the tunnel'
'That's hellfire, Dean'

Rosesugar

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #11843 on: 07 October 2017, 07:49:38 pm »
Just had some guy send me the most ridiculous email with a poem he had clearly wttiirn himself  I cringe  at it .
He is not getting any booking .

jo-jo

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #11844 on: 07 October 2017, 11:07:52 pm »
 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

'Subject:   An admirer


Her style in words and pictures show,
With curves and dress leave feelings so,
With sun and travel she gives you taunt,
Her emotions deep her longing want,
What sweet voice have this beauty must,
To take control your inner lust,
And bring you chance her way so keen,
To find out more this Sri Lankan Queen...



To you madam I bid hello, don't worry, you have not a strange one nor a stalker lol, your profile has had much attention, and to give anything less than appreciation for such efforts would be an insult.

I wonder how late you see people, i'm a late riser and wonder when is the last booking you take at night if I was to be wanton in your company for an hour?

Not tonight but in general that I may plan a visit if you would have me to your palace.

I live in the South Side too, I await for your return.....

xxx'

Okay first of all SIR, I am not a whore of yore from times gone past???? Did he think he could woo me with those rhyming couplets? Nay you insult me. I bite my thumb at you, sir.
Never criticize someone until you've walked a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, they won't be able to hear you from that far away. Plus, you'll have their shoes.

Rosesugar

  • Guest
Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #11845 on: 08 October 2017, 08:21:15 am »
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

Jojo  yours was as tacky as mine lol !!

Erotic Masseuse

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #11846 on: 08 October 2017, 09:16:43 am »
I hAd a guy who turned up at my apartment MAIN door (I didnt tell him which block I was in) asked him to go to the meter (where I have a clear view) and he said hold on I just need to park up then BAFFLED MUCH ? 5 seconds later he says yep I am ready, I asked is he not going to buy a ticket he saiid no I dont need one Im a trader..........he was dumb founded that I terminated the booking  ???

Funkymonkey

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #11847 on: 08 October 2017, 09:38:09 am »
Previously someone made a same day booking for 30 mins wanting anal then 10 minutes before the booking he asks 'are pictures/videos included?' Certainly not for a first timer for 30 minutes!! Then instead of being up front and saying 'oh I better cancel' he's like, well I don't want to create an atmosphere, don't want to haggle. Saved him as time wasting c**t. I think he did this before but I didn't save his number that time.

He text on Friday asking for a booking. I said 'well since you're saved in my phone as time wasting c**t then I doubt it.'

Him: 'I think you've got the wrong person but I understand if you're not free xx'

Kind of wish I'd taken his booking to see if he did it again. (But sent him somewhere else whoops)

SimplySinful

  • Guest
Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #11848 on: 08 October 2017, 01:26:43 pm »
My work phone has been off a couple of days due to illness. I switch it back it to find this:

?if fuck you good 😈?

Feels a bit puzzled then sees the next text

I?d

Form an orderly queue ladies, how can you resist such overwhelming charm?

GothGirl

  • Guest
Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #11849 on: 09 October 2017, 11:52:51 am »
Are you about pal?


Wtf