phone call from someone I'd seen but didn't remember..

Him..Hi Helen
Me....Hi
Him...Errrr (followed by an awkward 5 seconds of silence)
Him....Errrr (again followed by an awkward silence)
Me..Can I help you with something?
Him....Are you married?
Me....Whats that got to do with anything?
Him...I was going to take you out for a drink.
(Were you?)
I don't socialise with clients my hours are 10am-4pm and that's it.
Him...(deflated) Oh okay I will call you soon.

Text from previous suspected TW:

Banging blue ched call if need 07******* or if voicemail call this one 248 about all day 😗💨💨

What does it even mean?!

Drug pusher i would guess

Yep, 'blue ched' will be a strain of skunk.

I just googled "skunk" You're not talking about the "cat-sized American mammal", are you? That ain't blue   

2 email from this Funk loving, under the sheets wriggling oddball; {careful you don't wretch up your lunch} Is he doing the rounds?

"Hi there lovely you

Thank you for replying to my Aphrodite Lounge email. You'll see from the attached photo that their frustrating site will only let me see part of your message. But happily I found your website.

I'm so pleased you said my rambling daydream sounds amazing! It does to me too! I will overcome my inhibition and ring you to chat about the delightful possibility of meeting you.

I get that my daydream about pampering you with a sensuous massage isn't a common one. I'm starry-eyed and smiley and I get so much delight from massaging. I'm an INFP personality so you'll see why if you look at the other photo .

My hands are magic apparently and it's a shame to hear that sex workers rarely if ever get the type of massage they want and earn. I'm told that it's especially rare for the bum to get the attention that's wanted. I've yet to start my professional training but my natural technique seems to make up for that. I'm a lucky guy. I get so much erotic pleasure through my fingertips. And I've got ten! Hooray!

I'm seriously considering following the advice I've been given i.e. to develop my passion into a service. And being lovely to you would be a step on that journey that I'd never forget. And that I'd willingly repeat free of charge as a way of saying thank you. As for you being lovely to me.....the holding me and being held by me as we gently wiggle under the sheet post-massage would make me feel loved and understood. Like good friends. With benefits

I hope that this still sounds amazing to you and that you think you might be able to enjoy being lovingly and tenderly adored. What you give to men is truly wonderful and to put a blissful smile on your face would make me feel like a sexy prince.

I'm a sensitive, respectful and considerate lover with a huge heart and a free spirit. And I'm rambling!

Like I said, I will ring and see if you want to play with me and turn erotic messaging into erotic massaging. And laughs!

Sent with a big hug and a kiss"

"Hello I'm a gentle playful and tactile soul. I hope that you're well and that you might be kind enough to let me visit you soon. You are beautiful and, if you'd enjoy it, I'd adore the chance to seduce you by embracing you, kissing your neck while we wiggle our hips to your favourite slow funk, undressing you and laying you down so that I can lovingly massage you all over and pleasure you with my hands and tongue. Before wrapping ourselves around each other UNDER the covers for some sensual lovemaking. I've a dreamy smiley imagination and it would make me grin from head to toe to imagine that you have booked me to deliver the BFE experience that you want. That I'm paying for, like the chivalrous gent that I am. My treat. What do you think? Would you choose one and a half hours or two? And what time of day would you be most in the mood for this kind of escapism. I'm all yours if you want me X"

Offering to pay me through AW but then asking for friends with benefits though my personal email. Cheeky twit, needless to say, I've ignored him.

2 email from this Funk loving, under the sheets wriggling oddball; {careful you don't wretch up your lunch} Is he doing the rounds?

"Hi there lovely you

Thank you for replying to my Aphrodite Lounge email. You'll see from the attached photo that their frustrating site will only let me see part of your message. But happily I found your website.

I'm so pleased you said my rambling daydream sounds amazing! It does to me too! I will overcome my inhibition and ring you to chat about the delightful possibility of meeting you.

I get that my daydream about pampering you with a sensuous massage isn't a common one. I'm starry-eyed and smiley and I get so much delight from massaging. I'm an INFP personality so you'll see why if you look at the other photo .

My hands are magic apparently and it's a shame to hear that sex workers rarely if ever get the type of massage they want and earn. I'm told that it's especially rare for the bum to get the attention that's wanted. I've yet to start my professional training but my natural technique seems to make up for that. I'm a lucky guy. I get so much erotic pleasure through my fingertips. And I've got ten! Hooray!

I'm seriously considering following the advice I've been given i.e. to develop my passion into a service. And being lovely to you would be a step on that journey that I'd never forget. And that I'd willingly repeat free of charge as a way of saying thank you. As for you being lovely to me.....the holding me and being held by me as we gently wiggle under the sheet post-massage would make me feel loved and understood. Like good friends. With benefits

I hope that this still sounds amazing to you and that you think you might be able to enjoy being lovingly and tenderly adored. What you give to men is truly wonderful and to put a blissful smile on your face would make me feel like a sexy prince.

I'm a sensitive, respectful and considerate lover with a huge heart and a free spirit. And I'm rambling!

Like I said, I will ring and see if you want to play with me and turn erotic messaging into erotic massaging. And laughs!

Sent with a big hug and a kiss"

"Hello I'm a gentle playful and tactile soul. I hope that you're well and that you might be kind enough to let me visit you soon. You are beautiful and, if you'd enjoy it, I'd adore the chance to seduce you by embracing you, kissing your neck while we wiggle our hips to your favourite slow funk, undressing you and laying you down so that I can lovingly massage you all over and pleasure you with my hands and tongue. Before wrapping ourselves around each other UNDER the covers for some sensual lovemaking. I've a dreamy smiley imagination and it would make me grin from head to toe to imagine that you have booked me to deliver the BFE experience that you want. That I'm paying for, like the chivalrous gent that I am. My treat. What do you think? Would you choose one and a half hours or two? And what time of day would you be most in the mood for this kind of escapism. I'm all yours if you want me X"

Offering to pay me through AW but then asking for friends with benefits though my personal email. Cheeky twit, needless to say, I've ignored him.

I persevered and kept reading! Oh my days, nearly lost the will to live! I dodged a similar one today, where do they find the time? 'My treat' condescending delusional idiot.

Odd message via email today. Not sure if he's a fantasist getting a kick from typing it or serious.

"Hi. I'd like to book you tomorrow for 1pm. Can we do that? "
"Hi. You  need to call me to book please".
Ignores me and keeps messaging "you look so young. I'd like you to wear your hair lose and I'll bring a babies dummy for you to put in your mouth. Have you got a teddy?"

  weirdest  thing I've read via AW email since I started back.

2 email from this Funk loving, under the sheets wriggling oddball; {careful you don't wretch up your lunch} Is he doing the rounds?

"Hi there lovely you

Thank you for replying to my Aphrodite Lounge email. You'll see from the attached photo that their frustrating site will only let me see part of your message. But happily I found your website.

I'm so pleased you said my rambling daydream sounds amazing! It does to me too! I will overcome my inhibition and ring you to chat about the delightful possibility of meeting you.

I get that my daydream about pampering you with a sensuous massage isn't a common one. I'm starry-eyed and smiley and I get so much delight from massaging. I'm an INFP personality so you'll see why if you look at the other photo .

My hands are magic apparently and it's a shame to hear that sex workers rarely if ever get the type of massage they want and earn. I'm told that it's especially rare for the bum to get the attention that's wanted. I've yet to start my professional training but my natural technique seems to make up for that. I'm a lucky guy. I get so much erotic pleasure through my fingertips. And I've got ten! Hooray!

I'm seriously considering following the advice I've been given i.e. to develop my passion into a service. And being lovely to you would be a step on that journey that I'd never forget. And that I'd willingly repeat free of charge as a way of saying thank you. As for you being lovely to me.....the holding me and being held by me as we gently wiggle under the sheet post-massage would make me feel loved and understood. Like good friends. With benefits

I hope that this still sounds amazing to you and that you think you might be able to enjoy being lovingly and tenderly adored. What you give to men is truly wonderful and to put a blissful smile on your face would make me feel like a sexy prince.

I'm a sensitive, respectful and considerate lover with a huge heart and a free spirit. And I'm rambling!

Like I said, I will ring and see if you want to play with me and turn erotic messaging into erotic massaging. And laughs!

Sent with a big hug and a kiss"

"Hello I'm a gentle playful and tactile soul. I hope that you're well and that you might be kind enough to let me visit you soon. You are beautiful and, if you'd enjoy it, I'd adore the chance to seduce you by embracing you, kissing your neck while we wiggle our hips to your favourite slow funk, undressing you and laying you down so that I can lovingly massage you all over and pleasure you with my hands and tongue. Before wrapping ourselves around each other UNDER the covers for some sensual lovemaking. I've a dreamy smiley imagination and it would make me grin from head to toe to imagine that you have booked me to deliver the BFE experience that you want. That I'm paying for, like the chivalrous gent that I am. My treat. What do you think? Would you choose one and a half hours or two? And what time of day would you be most in the mood for this kind of escapism. I'm all yours if you want me X"

Offering to pay me through AW but then asking for friends with benefits though my personal email. Cheeky twit, needless to say, I've ignored him.

I'm so disappointed here, Chatterly! I got back home from a huge and delicious Italian lunch so I thought I would read just to wretch on purpose... read and read and read and bloody nothing
Looks like I'm wanker-proof by now