That's why I'll just ask what it is they are after rather than rattle a list off besides that it tells them clear enough that I don't offer anal etc so you just know they are asking because they are jerking off or edging for something they know full well you won't do.

Big long winded email asking if I'd consider an outcall for four hours , possible overnight.
Fee 220 ( that's less than 1.5 hours outcall)
Obviously he'd be filming ( no faces) it would include domination and if I wanted it to be quick as he'll probably be booked !!!!
Ha ha ha ha wanted to answer with 50 reasons why not but didn't ....I don't offer or entertain anything he asked , what a Pratt !

Avail ? 
Open ? 

Hello, a quick question, can you arrange for a dog to lick you out while I masterbate.

naughty boy' !! Perhaps I deserve a long hard spanking? Or maybe we shall switch?
Shall I come and see you? if so, perhaps I should give you a call this afternoon after 4pm to discuss some regular weekly appointments? if so, what number can I call you upon? I am in your area on 6th October 2016 from 7.30am - 8am owards if you would like to see me?
I can also bring along a Bottle of Bollinger Champagne and also my Aromatherapy massage oils to give you a nice long massage from top to toes?

Prick.

Guy phones...
Him...Hi Helen (good start thinks I) What services do you offer and how much is it?
Me..I offer a GFE and its ?xx per half hour.
Him..Do you do domintation?
Me..Nooooo I do a GFE, it does include OWO but besides that its a very vanilla service.
Him..Whats vanilla?
Me..Its the usual things kissing, cuddling, oral and sex with protection basically.
Him..Do you do rimming?
Me...Have you ever had a GFE?
Him..No
Me...I suggest you look it up
I hang up the phone.

Hi Sexy, I'm looking to make a booking for Saturday about 3pm and you look so sexy and hope you are available. I want to fuck and get all sweaty in every possible position. Do you have any outfits? I'd love to see you in a naughty school girl outfit or maybe if you have some tight gym trousers and tight top with no underwear or bra. Hope you are available and we can have some hot sexy fun. Sco*** x

Do you take this booking?
Me: nope..

Has anyone else noticed that guys who say "I'm in town on business from London" are twats?

"oooh-er... hellooo... yas, I'm just up for a day on business from London..."

Nobody ever says they're in town from fucking Birmingham or Newcastle...

One yesterday rung me 3 times in total telling me he was 'travelling up on business from Leeds' Then he did a no show   


And another today he's apparently 'travelling up on business for a few days from Manchester'...He's rung 3 times so far *yawns* on the last occasion I said could he just confirm by text in the morning as I don't have time to talk he said he needed to ask my size in lingerie as he's going to buy me a sexy bra and a G string...When I humoured him by asking where he's buying it from he said Marks and Spencers...


I don't think I've ever seen G strings for sale in there