I had a lovely brief moment of oneupmanship today.

I've just passed my second anniversary of whoring, and about every six months I've had a call from a well-spoken Scotsman on a withheld number. Really gorgeous accent, sounds 30s-40s. The first two times I didn't really twig, but I did on the third though I just played along. On the first call we arranged a booking on the next day and he was going to bring me a retro suspender belt, the other two times he just said he would call back (with his number showing) to arrange a booking.

He's lived in different places near me - Watford, Hemel, Amersham and today Hemel again. Different names. But his wife died 3-6 months ago from cancer or a car crash. Sometimes he has children, sometimes he doesn't.

So today I gave him a minute to do his opening spiel, then said, "Just to say - we have spoken three times before". He was adamant we hadn't. "We have - you've lived in Watford and Hemel and your wives have died of..." Click!

They really do think we're stupid, don't they?

That's great! I have a guy like this he is saved under Lee repeat in my phone.

Ho hum I have a feeling I've had this text before, so bear in mind my profile/website say I only consider overnight's after an initial shorter booking and how he  claims to have specifically browsed my profile...TW central....

Hi,called to no avail,however,not to worry,have been browsing your amazing profile to find what a lovely,stunning lady you are,hence,just to enquire if you may be interested in a overnight (date given),with every intention to extend over the weekend,venue,ibis hotel (address details) very genuine,honest @ above all reliable,i get on with most people in life @ very approachable,please let me know your thoughts @ look forward to hearing from you soon,kind regards C xxx

the most annoying part of this is how he thinks @ is an abbreviation for 'and'.

I don't fucking think so.
WTF I mean seriously is it wanker Saturday or something?

Pretty sure it is judging by this clown.

Sent me an email on AW last night saying would I be interested in a gangbang. I replied "No sorry don't do group bookings xx"
I then get a phone call this afternoon saying "I'm [XX], I sent you a mail on AW asking about gangbangs."
Me: Yes, I -
Him: [interrupting] I just find it incredibly horny, it's really my thing [blathers on for 20 seconds about group sex]
Me: Well I did repl-
Him: [interrupting] What I really love is a woman who is greedy for lots of men [another 40 seconds of wank]
Me: [sighs loudly]
Him: So what do you say?
Me: No.
Him: ...What?
Me: If you'd read my reply on AW you could have saved yourself a phone call. I don't do group bookings.
Him: Oh I did see your reply but I just really want a group booking with you.
Me: No.
Him: ...What? Well what about if I see you alone?
Me: No.
Him: ...What?
Me: I will not be accepting any booking with you [XX]. You need to find a service provider who offers what you're looking for.
Him: [blessed silence]

Idiot is now saved in my phone as Gangbang Couldn't Get A Word In Edgeways 

Love it!

Me too LOL 

I just don't get why guys deliberately waste our time. I sometimes play along knowing the booking is unlikely.

Take today a guy emails, asks to see me, I do the usual ask for a date/time which he provides. Then I say please call by X time today (for a booking tomorrow)....oh yes he says he'll call in the next couple of hours. Ho hum...on the dot of 2 hours he emails saying he has to have his daughter tomorrow and vaguely says he'll try to book this week...

He was a tad over enthusiastic from the word go, slightly vague so its not like I thought he was likely to be genuine. God I just KNEW he wouldn't call!

Why the fuck do they do it....that's rhetorical really I know there's all sorts of dickish guys out there but still I think why, why why?! Sad sad lives they must have.

Had a guy phone this morning. He phoned the other week asking for 15 minutes but never called back. He wanted the same again today for ?30. I told him it was 40. He said - oh - like it was up to him to decide my prices for me. Never have I done 15 minutes for ?30. It was ?35 once but that was ages ago.  Oh, and he wanted to see me in 20 minutes. Er, a bit of notice would be nice 

You make them a massive favour by seeing them for 15min for ?40 anyway... I guess some of them will try to push whatever they think they can. Seriously , 15min for ?40 you can't argue...they should be happy or f*** off

You make them a massive favour by seeing them for 15min for ?40 anyway... I guess some of them will try to push whatever they think they can. Seriously , 15min for ?40 you can't argue...they should be happy or f*** off

And he says what does that include. I said everything and he still wanted to pay 30