Just received a text...

Hi I know this is a strange question but do you have  a hair dryer to play with while giving me a hand job as I like the warm air over my testicals

thank you.

I got asked this morning if I'd go swimming (by a man I have never heard from before). It was terribly polite but...

I asked if he had a private swimming pool, he said no so I asked him where he was thinking of doing this. He replied 'Anywhere if you could find a pool I would gladly cum inside you'

I think not! I declined and he asked me if I knew anyone who would, so girls, I'm offering this one out!

What the actual fuck??? Total weirdo. I'm guessing also that you've made it very clear you don't do bb. What a knob head. What's next, asking if you have a private jet so he can join the mile high club?

"Great profile xxxxx

I'm looking for a strict, confident, young girl to see the pathetic wimp, whose pretty little wife I've been fucking for a couple of years. The wimp rarely complains about sleeping in the spare room when I'm round his or him not being allowed sex with her any more and he always does as he's told, including driving me home at 4.00 Sunday morning after I'd finished with his wife, so as I'm such a nice man, I like to reward the runt occasionally by arranging for a girl to make him cum.

On the occasions I've arranged for him to see an escort before, nerves got the better of him and he made a bit of a fool of himself resulting in girls laughing at him, lol, but the pathetic, useless wimp assures me that he wants to see other girls if allowed.

He isn't allowed penetrative sex, including oral, or to touch between the upper thigh and waist (the Wimp Free Zone) and he will be expected to do as he's told and show respect at all times, which he will do as he knows exactly what will happen to him if he doesn't and I ever find out and I'm sure you'll know exactly how to deal with him.

A bit of attention, a snog, a feel of your awesome looking body and your tits (he mustn't touch your bum though) and you giving him hand relief will do the Wimp just fine but he also needs reminding exactly what a pathetic wimp he is and made to show proper respect.

If it's not your thing, fine but hopefully we can sort something for him as you look and sound ideal but if you've got better things to do than faff about over a worthless little Runt, I totally understand.

Thanks.

Gary x"
 

WTF

Sometimes you only need to see the length of the email before saying "time wasting fantasist" 

Phone booking recieved at 12 for a 30 min appointment at 1pm.Just in the middle of texting parking and address details when the same bloke rings again..and says exactly the same thing as when he rang initially to book 'Hi are you available today?Whereabouts in Leeds are you?'
I pointed out he had just spoke to me and booked me for 1pm..and phone goes down.
He then seemed perplexed when I sent him a text to cancel pointing out that genuine clients don't book someone then continue to ring round other hookers and even worse are so flakey they don't even realise they are ringing the same woman..like I'd even bother to waste my time getting ready!
What goes through their minds?!?