Your exquisite face as held my warmth heart captivate ,I can't but say , you are indeed an angel on earth .I must confess you are the best thing have come across in recent times,I suppose God would have created you on a Sunday..

"I'd like to make a booking for tonight, 3 hours"
'Ok please ring me'
"I can't I have learning difficulties, do you do pse"
'No, have you read my profile?'
"No I can't"
'So how are you reading my texts?'
"I know numbers"
 

" Hi ,
Would you be interested in pinning me down or tying me down and letting out loud smelly farts in my face ?
Also, making me worship your smelly feet and splatting me with custard pies . I really want you to have a good laugh at my expense.
Regards , "


Whoever is spreading the rumours that I have smelly feet is a liar 

Haha gave me a good laugh. As an aside would love to throw custard pies at someone! Get out all my stress that way, or whatever