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Author Topic: How not to book an escort,world championships!  (Read 2595270 times)

amy

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #8670 on: 12 February 2016, 04:27:36 pm »
Bellend: Are you on x
Me: Sorry, I think you have the wrong person.
Bellend: adore amy
Me: Yes, but 'on' what?
Bellend: are you available x
Me: No, sorry.
Bellend: When?
Me: Never, sorry.
Bellend: an hour session good shag then you suck me off x
Me: Wow. How could I refuse?
Bellend: ?
Me: *block*

Jezabel

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #8671 on: 12 February 2016, 05:39:08 pm »
Me:  hello there how can I help.
Moron: mumble mumble I saw you online.
Me: yes how can I help.
Moron: well when are you mumble mumble.
Me: Can you repeat that please
Moron...more mumbling
Me: I'm sorry I can't make out what your saying

I swear to God it sounded like he said 'when are you dealing!'
« Last Edit: 12 February 2016, 05:41:18 pm by Jezabel »

trashbaby

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #8672 on: 13 February 2016, 10:08:30 am »
Text exchange

Idiot: hi, do you have any availability tomorrow pm or am and could we simulate anal?
Me: hi, I have between # and # available. Please call if you'd like a booking but I'm not sure what you mean by 'simulating' anal.
Idiot: I didn't see anal on your enjoys list, that's all. I'm 35 yo, white British so happy to pump your bum?
Idiot: to be honest I'm happy with the gfe if it includes sex
Idiot: I can call. Instead of sex can I just watch you cum? I don't want to risk my health!

BLOCKED

 ::)

Oh my god!! So gross  :-X

Bellend: Are you on x
Me: Sorry, I think you have the wrong person.
Bellend: adore amy
Me: Yes, but 'on' what?
Bellend: are you available x
Me: No, sorry.
Bellend: When?
Me: Never, sorry.
Bellend: an hour session good shag then you suck me off x
Me: Wow. How could I refuse?
Bellend: ?
Me: *block*

"Never, sorry". Perfect  ;D


trashbaby

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #8673 on: 13 February 2016, 10:11:06 am »
I took my phone number off adultwork for a few days, put it back on again last night and was reminded very quickly as to why I decided to have a break!

"bb are you free?" (1am)
"hey sexy can we meet up now?" (3:45am)
"I need a girl can u deliver" (6:30am)

Thankfully my phone is always on silent overnight.  ::)

katrina

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #8674 on: 13 February 2016, 01:06:49 pm »
Text received at 3.58am:

Want to meet up? Sheffield lad


Another from someone in my phone as 'idiot outcall timewaster' at 10.58pm: Can you come to Chesterfield now? X


Another idiot sends text Wednesday "U available" (ignored) then he sends same text 2 days later "U available" I reply "Please call" He doesn't then he sends another one at 10pm that night "U available"


He's obviously either blind, can't read or just plain dumb  ???

KittenCandy

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #8675 on: 13 February 2016, 05:50:22 pm »
Two emails today

First one-Hi hope you are well, my name is Marcus and I've just moved to the area and have had issues in past relationships with my size, I would like to meet a women preferably like yourself in terms of appearance who can handle my size on a regular basis! This is reason for trying this site, I have seen your profile and find you very attractive and rates and services seem ideal, was wondering if you were able to take me both vaginally and maybe anally (not hugely important but bonus) on a weekly basis, cannot attach photos but have soft and hard pic on profile. Few have said yes and then when we meet cannot so would be brilliant if you had experience or utmost confidence.

Thank you very much for your time, hope to hear from you soon

Marcus

Second one- hello would you be interested in blackmailing me over team viewer or any other way for money i know you probably get this all the time but i swear I'm genuine. tom x

Both with zero feedback. I think AW should invent an option to block messages from all zero feedback members. Do you think they would take this suggestion into consideration?

amy

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #8676 on: 13 February 2016, 06:06:17 pm »
Yeah, also got the above copy paste from Marcus And His Amazing Penis ::)

I haven't been on AW today, but I just delete these without even opening them anyway. I normally have to do a bit of a sweep on a Monday morning - I suppose they must get bored on a weekend.

Nova

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #8677 on: 13 February 2016, 06:06:42 pm »
Two emails today

First one-Hi hope you are well, my name is Marcus and I've just moved to the area and have had issues in past relationships with my size, I would like to meet a women preferably like yourself in terms of appearance who can handle my size on a regular basis! This is reason for trying this site, I have seen your profile and find you very attractive and rates and services seem ideal, was wondering if you were able to take me both vaginally and maybe anally (not hugely important but bonus) on a weekly basis, cannot attach photos but have soft and hard pic on profile. Few have said yes and then when we meet cannot so would be brilliant if you had experience or utmost confidence.

Thank you very much for your time, hope to hear from you soon

Marcus


Size is not a problem, I have seen obese clients before. If you are morbidly obese, we may have to move the mattress to the floor to avoid damaging the bed.
x

Shewolf

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #8678 on: 13 February 2016, 08:57:46 pm »
Brilliant reply above. I can just imagine his jaw dropping over that. Duuurrrb.


BJC

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #8679 on: 13 February 2016, 11:39:38 pm »
Guy texted asking all the questions that are on my profile, services, rates, age etc. I referred him to my profile and he texted back...
"I can't read"

"But you're managing to read my texts and write a reply perfectly well?!"

"My mates helping me"

I despair sometimes.
They tried to bury us.
They didn't know we were seeds.

littleminxjennifer

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #8680 on: 14 February 2016, 07:26:49 pm »
immediate block from this one. its even in my FAQs i will block anyone who even asks! :FF

Quote
Hi I have looked your profile over, and would like to make a booking, but I was wondering if it would be possible to have sex naturally, without a condom? I have a problem with my vestibular system that makes it hard for me to balance and because of that I don't get out much and haven't had sex in years so I know I'm clean. I was hoping to find a woman I could meet regularly and experience the natural feeling, Is there any chance that you could help?


Red KB

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #8681 on: 14 February 2016, 07:57:49 pm »
"I'm 16, would you still serve me"

I'm not a pub!!!
We're women, it's what we do. I just get paid for it.

Roxy101

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #8682 on: 15 February 2016, 12:05:54 am »
"I'm 16, would you still serve me"

I'm not a pub!!!

Oh dear lol.

When I worked for an agency a couple of years back, this one guy came in and looked about 16/17. I asked him how old he was and he quickly explained how he'd told the madam over the phone how he looked young but he was really 18 and got his passport out to show me. I was only 19 myself at the time.

martine21

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #8683 on: 15 February 2016, 01:14:23 pm »
'Hello can you do 5 days booking I am prepared to pay you ?80,000 I can give you ?40,000  straight away if you are available please get in touch thank you'

Had this today ^^

My response:

'Yes okay.

Put in my account then call.

Fu3ky0u - Sortcode
T1M3W4ST2R - Account number.

:)'

He actually replied 'will do, ill call you when its done'  :FF

Cat_BBW

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #8684 on: 15 February 2016, 01:47:42 pm »
'Hello can you do 5 days booking I am prepared to pay you ?80,000 I can give you ?40,000  straight away if you are available please get in touch thank you'

Had this today ^^

My response:

'Yes okay.

Put in my account then call.

Fu3ky0u - Sortcode
T1M3W4ST2R - Account number.

:)'

He actually replied 'will do, ill call you when its done'  :FF

HAHA!!! Do update if he tries to say he's done it!! :o ;D