On the being unwell- I had a heavy cold (was a while back now) and answered a call- God knows why- but I explained I was taking a few days off because I had a cold.
he replies- I don't mind!
Me: Um, well I do, I'm feeling lousy
Him: No it's fine, I don't care if I catch it, I just really want to see you today!
Me; You misunderstand, I'm not working because I don't want to
Him: What about a quicky then? (which I don't do anyway)
Me: OK, so a 15 minute quicky?
Him: (so pleased) Yes!
Me: OK, that'll be ?500.
Him: For 15 minutes?
Me: Yes, that's what it'll take to get me to see you whilst I'm feeling so bad!
He hangs up. No idea why.