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Author Topic: How not to book an escort,world championships!  (Read 2594796 times)

Cat_BBW

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #6270 on: 16 October 2014, 10:37:00 pm »
Just had a guy ask me for a car meet, which I refused.  He then responded with what about outdoor fun, because it's his fantasy to bend 'an older woman' over outside.

An older woman!  I'm 31, profile age 28!  I feel about 164.   :FF

Yeah, you ancient old granny, 'bout time you retired!  ;D  :D

(I am joking, of course! :) )

Bet he was either 16 or about the same age as you.

luciefate

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #6271 on: 17 October 2014, 12:04:21 am »
Oh Curvygal - what a cheeky bas!! LOL

Here's one from 2 nights ago:

By phone.

 Punter:  Hi Lucie, I'm in (my town) and I would like to book you for an outcall.
 Me:        Sure, no problem. Which hotel are you staying in?
 Punter:  I'm actually a long distance lorry driver and I'm in my truck down at the docks.
 Me: Pardon???
 Punter: I'm a really nice guy, 28 years old and fit!
 Me: Listen sweetheart, I don't need the money that desperately that I am going to drive down to the docks and get in a lorry at      midnight with a strange man.
 Punter: But I'm a really nice guy. My name's (name). I'll send you a picture.
 Me: I'm sure Jack The Ripper was a really nice guy too and whilst I'm sure you're not going to abduct me for the white slave trade either, I think I'll pass until you're back in town and book a hotel!!

Been pissing myself over this for the last two days PLUS as an added bonus I got a picture of his truck. It sure beats the usual cock pic!!!!  ;D

Any takers? I'll pass on his number LOL

Curvygal

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #6272 on: 17 October 2014, 10:53:41 am »
Just had a guy ask me for a car meet, which I refused.  He then responded with what about outdoor fun, because it's his fantasy to bend 'an older woman' over outside.

An older woman!  I'm 31, profile age 28!  I feel about 164.   :FF

Yeah, you ancient old granny, 'bout time you retired!  ;D  :D

(I am joking, of course! :) )

Bet he was either 16 or about the same age as you.

He said he was 22 so I'm guessing you are right, that'll be plus or minus a few years!

Yip girls, i'm officially past it and hanging up my knickers!  ;D

Curvygal

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #6273 on: 17 October 2014, 10:55:14 am »
Oh Curvygal - what a cheeky bas!! LOL

Here's one from 2 nights ago:

By phone.

 Punter:  Hi Lucie, I'm in (my town) and I would like to book you for an outcall.
 Me:        Sure, no problem. Which hotel are you staying in?
 Punter:  I'm actually a long distance lorry driver and I'm in my truck down at the docks.
 Me: Pardon???
 Punter: I'm a really nice guy, 28 years old and fit!
 Me: Listen sweetheart, I don't need the money that desperately that I am going to drive down to the docks and get in a lorry at      midnight with a strange man.
 Punter: But I'm a really nice guy. My name's (name). I'll send you a picture.
 Me: I'm sure Jack The Ripper was a really nice guy too and whilst I'm sure you're not going to abduct me for the white slave trade either, I think I'll pass until you're back in town and book a hotel!!

Been pissing myself over this for the last two days PLUS as an added bonus I got a picture of his truck. It sure beats the usual cock pic!!!!  ;D

Any takers? I'll pass on his number LOL

OMG I had one exactly like that the other week!  When I said no he asked if I knew any girls at Salamander Street (Edinburgh red light district) that would do it!

luciefate

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #6274 on: 17 October 2014, 08:58:32 pm »
ROFL, Curvygal!!

The day I have to do 'truck meets' down at the bloody docks, I'm hanging up my stockings.

That could be the both of us girl, sailing of as bloody concubines of Abdul Abulbul Amir in the land that time forgot wearing yashmaks!!!!

I am still pissing myself with my twisted and warped visions of Arabian Nights - HA HA HA !!!!! ;D ;D

Rosa

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #6275 on: 17 October 2014, 09:20:06 pm »
Turned up at my door, claimed to have lost phone number and asked "wondered if you had any appointments?"

I was in some quite alternative clothing(and not in a sexy way) ;D

Very, very rare this happens. Majority of clients know it's unacceptable, and just wouldn't. Almost always localish or just down the road types.

A real pity.

alice842

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #6276 on: 18 October 2014, 12:14:11 am »
'session I want to start of standing in front of you both now I am very sexist so would be a fitting punishment , I want you to make me take all my clothes of including my pants then place my hands on my head while you both make fun of me being fat ... etc.
If you can cater for this please let me know x'

Made me laugh as he'd obviously messed up his copy and paste email and only sent me the second half!

victoryrose

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #6277 on: 18 October 2014, 10:37:16 am »
Calls me up begging to do half an hour for ?60 rather than my charged ?80. Now I know that ?80 seems a bit much, but half an hour bookings are bloody inconvenient and from what I've read here a lot of the time turn into 45 minutes or even an hour as the guy hasn't cum yet! Also as a student I know that many will think half an hour is an excellent way to squeeze me in between lectures... Not my fault you're too cheap to afford me, look elsewhere or buy a fleshlight. ::)

Reni

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #6278 on: 19 October 2014, 12:51:33 am »
Text: Dear **** you are a beautiful Indian lady. I am Indian a swel from A*** I want really sincere time with you and make hard love please respond.

Bleugh

niccis

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #6279 on: 19 October 2014, 01:53:57 am »
Him: fancy met up xx

me (too nice lol): Hi at the moment im only doing incalls so i wudnt b able to visit u at ur place.
U can come see me for sum real good fun ?80 half hr no extra charges or its ?130 for a whole hr cum as many times as u like ;-)

Him: Mmm ;) what about 40 for 30 mins and I'll come to u babe x

Me:  :FF :FF :FF :FF
 

Hadley

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #6280 on: 19 October 2014, 07:11:54 pm »
Email:

"I saw your profile on Adultwork and ....."


Most pointless message ever
"Why do people say "grow some balls"? Balls are weak and sensitive. If you wanna be tough, grow a vagina. Those things can take a pounding."

-Betty White

Rosa

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #6281 on: 19 October 2014, 07:37:03 pm »
Email:

"I saw your profile on Adultwork and ....."


Most pointless message ever

Why?

Cat_BBW

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #6282 on: 20 October 2014, 12:24:04 am »
Email:

"I saw your profile on Adultwork and ....."


Most pointless message ever

Why?

I didn't personally receive this email, but if someone messaged me JUST saying "I saw your profile on Adultwork and ....." then I really would know this was the most pointless email ever!

Cat_BBW

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #6283 on: 20 October 2014, 12:41:20 am »
Received at approx 4am yesterday morning:

Ways up need a big tit and big booty hoe


...and 30 seconds later:

Ways up sexy I was not u bad hit me up

I kind of understand the first one... "What's up, I would like a whore with big breasts and bottom" ... but the second one eludes me. Either way, that's as far as his 'booking request' goes.

luciefate

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #6284 on: 20 October 2014, 09:50:05 am »
I am doing hotel incalls so always answer the phone:

3am. Phone call from a Stag leader as their stripper has let them down.

SL: Me and the lads have been out drinking all day yesterday and all night and our stripper has let us down so we're looking for anyone to come and play with the groom and best man. It probably won't involve sex. ( No shit Sherlock; not after all that alcohol!) We've had a whip round and it's good money.

I basically decline (for obvious reasons)

5.30am. Phone call and he's now desperate!

SL: I can't find anyone and all the agencies are closed. (PMSL) and I'll send a taxi. Will you 'do' the groom and best man. The others have gone to bed. My wife's away and I'm randy as hell.

Decline, end call, block, turn over and sleep (again!)