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Author Topic: How not to book an escort,world championships!  (Read 2599158 times)

Nia Hope

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #6180 on: 13 September 2014, 11:08:51 pm »
6ft tanned want to be ur sexy after hrs lover mail me ur number and I will send my pics single tool

"Single tool" sounds about right!

I think my best one is a phone call from a Glaswegian who offered me ?50K to sleep with a woman while he watched. The woman was his daughter. Has he contacted others?
No but if the 50k was guaranteed I'd have done it !
If something is not perceived it doesn't exist.

littleminxjennifer

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #6181 on: 15 September 2014, 08:21:03 pm »
aw bless, just had one text saying
"i wanna f*** you hardly"

then followed by this (with several timewasting alerts)

Hi there,

Hope you are well.

I am newish to the site and just came back in after some time away.

As you know, the market on here for a single guy is fairly limited. I wondered if you maybe interested in partnering up to offer threesomes and maybe cramming etc. so FFM and also MMF as I am openly bisexual.

Pics are on my profile including face pics so you can have a wee look.

Let me know if your up for it and we could maybe have a chat about it and maybe do some pics together for our profiles.

Love Someperson xxx

mature helen

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #6182 on: 15 September 2014, 08:57:05 pm »
Shortest email winner...

Him...
You got a post code hun xx

Me.
Yes I do. (sent)



Nia Hope

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  • Posts: 2,401
Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #6183 on: 16 September 2014, 08:41:33 am »
Shortest email winner...

Him...
You got a post code hun xx

Me.
Yes I do. (sent)
Is it just me that loathes being called hun?
If something is not perceived it doesn't exist.

mature helen

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #6184 on: 16 September 2014, 02:04:59 pm »
Shortest email winner...

Him...
You got a post code hun xx

Me.
Yes I do. (sent)
Is it just me that loathes being called hun?
No I loathe it too along with babe, sexy, darlin' and sweetheart.

peachybum

  • Full Member
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  • Posts: 135
Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #6185 on: 16 September 2014, 05:26:46 pm »
It has taken me ages to read all of these but they have certainly had me in fits of laughter! what i can't stand is getting a text email phone call however, calling me "baby" makes me want to gag!
Who is behind a great women? That's right. No one. She has to get there herself - I keep waiting to meet a man who has more balls than I do!

Erotic flower

  • Guest
Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #6186 on: 16 September 2014, 05:28:20 pm »
Shortest email winner...

Him...
You got a post code hun xx

Me.
Yes I do. (sent)
Is it just me that loathes being called hun?
No I loathe it too along with babe, sexy, darlin' and sweetheart.
those are the ones never turn up weirdly

Alice G

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  • Posts: 90
Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #6187 on: 16 September 2014, 05:53:19 pm »
One e mail I received yesterday "I have two tickets for Thorpe Park, worth ?50 - Can I give them to you in exchange for a hand job?"
Somehow "cash only" seems to have passed him by.

Did have a similar one a couple of years wanting to pay with M&S vouchers!!!

Nia Hope

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  • Posts: 2,401
Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #6188 on: 16 September 2014, 06:00:40 pm »
Shortest email winner...

Him...
You got a post code hun xx

Me.
Yes I do. (sent)
Is it just me that loathes being called hun?
No I loathe it too along with babe, sexy, darlin' and sweetheart.
those are the ones never turn up weirdly

That is true! They are always time wasters x
If something is not perceived it doesn't exist.

Sexy_Kitty

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #6189 on: 17 September 2014, 02:26:50 pm »
fantasist.... they don't get the boundaries. My boyfriend calls me babe, not my clients.

I had some guy call me 11 TIMES yesterday. I'm not even working! I got so annoyed I even picked up the phone and held it to my TV and he STILL continued calling, what did he think there was some error that made BBC news play during a phone call? I blocked him after that. Continuing to call me does not increase your chances of me answering, it increases your chances of me blocking you for being a stalker!
You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star. - Friedrich Nietzsche

River

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #6190 on: 17 September 2014, 03:15:28 pm »
Going 'Weird' on them helps.... :o
I'm good at that!  :P
« Last Edit: 25 January 2017, 12:26:50 am by River »

Kaleese

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  • Posts: 18
Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #6191 on: 17 September 2014, 06:12:43 pm »
 :P Brilliant!

kinkyboots

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #6192 on: 17 September 2014, 09:17:46 pm »

Hi everybody! I took a little break from being "kinkyboots" and upon checking my AW emails for the first time in a few weeks i was met with this corker:  ;D

I need your help. I reckon you are an escort and so have most experience in dealing with various types of men. And I think you best suit to help me because you have plenty of similar experience. I?m 19 and not much experienced, just been with a woman only once (a local escort whom I met through local newspaper add).
I?ve a condom issue on which I need your help. In my profile you?ll see three pictures; one is of soft while other two of erect. And from those two, one is with condom on.
When I was with an escort whom I met through the local newspaper ad, thats the first time I tried a condom. It took her several attempts to get it on because whenever she placed it, it just came off when it was touched.
anyways, when the condom was on, she said she will try her on top. So as she attempted to sit on my penis, the condom just came off and got stuck in her vaginal lips.
I like to ask u is that the condom has a ring on it which actually holds the condom. Ring is the open end of the condom with elastic ring, which is meant to hold the condom tight onto the penis and to stop the condom from going off. And as you see in my picture inside my profile, the ring is on my penis. But still the ring does not work and holds the condom on place.
This is what I like to ask you; the working of the condom, and the reasons you think why I fails on me. Have you ever seen the problem when the ring is lose and lets the condom off? Is the ring not suppose to hold the penis and is the ring not made to hold the penis? If this is so then WHY you think the ring fails on me? The condoms which work fine with others, does not works on me. So can u please tell me whatever reasons you think of. I ask you this for my own understanding and learning. So please, whatever reasons you think of.
Regards

Alice G

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  • Posts: 90
Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #6193 on: 17 September 2014, 10:33:09 pm »
Maybe you should have replied saying the reason the condom/ring does not work properly, is you have to have an erect dick more than a 1cm long for it to work properly. They are so funny and sad, in equal measures!
If we could put all these sad (but highly amusing) emails/texts we get into a book, it would be a best seller.

BibiofLeeds

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  • Posts: 3,227
    • www.bibibustyescort.co.uk
Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #6194 on: 17 September 2014, 10:36:28 pm »

Hi everybody! I took a little break from being "kinkyboots" and upon checking my AW emails for the first time in a few weeks i was met with this corker:  ;D

I need your help. I reckon you are an escort and so have most experience in dealing with various types of men. And I think you best suit to help me because you have plenty of similar experience. I?m 19 and not much experienced, just been with a woman only once (a local escort whom I met through local newspaper add).
I?ve a condom issue on which I need your help. In my profile you?ll see three pictures; one is of soft while other two of erect. And from those two, one is with condom on.
When I was with an escort whom I met through the local newspaper ad, thats the first time I tried a condom. It took her several attempts to get it on because whenever she placed it, it just came off when it was touched.
anyways, when the condom was on, she said she will try her on top. So as she attempted to sit on my penis, the condom just came off and got stuck in her vaginal lips.
I like to ask u is that the condom has a ring on it which actually holds the condom. Ring is the open end of the condom with elastic ring, which is meant to hold the condom tight onto the penis and to stop the condom from going off. And as you see in my picture inside my profile, the ring is on my penis. But still the ring does not work and holds the condom on place.
This is what I like to ask you; the working of the condom, and the reasons you think why I fails on me. Have you ever seen the problem when the ring is lose and lets the condom off? Is the ring not suppose to hold the penis and is the ring not made to hold the penis? If this is so then WHY you think the ring fails on me? The condoms which work fine with others, does not works on me. So can u please tell me whatever reasons you think of. I ask you this for my own understanding and learning. So please, whatever reasons you think of.
Regards
He's a well known dickhead,he has had various accounts on A.W and he normally sends emails about how small his dick is.I got the exact same email 2 days ago.I've reported his latest profile for spam.