Got this at 4:15 AM... I had just fallen asleep when his call and text woke me up:

"Hey how are you can you send me address please i coming now ok thanks."

Sure, no need to wait for an invite, just wake me up at 4am and come on over (even though you have no idea where I am?)....

you mean you were not awake and ready at that time !!!  they thinkwe all sit up  night day sexually aroused for the callers don't we ladies NOT  lol !!

*what road is your service on*? via email just now, 
must get the  postcode for local police station one of these days lol !!!

Text comes through on Tuesday.

Him: "Hiya can i make an appointment for Thursday please?"
Me: "I will be available on Thursday but you will need to call that morning. I don't accept bookings by text"
Him: "Ok babe i'll ring you on Tuesday, I've never done anything like this before so am really nervous lol hope thats ok"
Him: "Kinkyboots what time is best for you on Tuesday?"
Him: "Hiya did you get my message? what is the best time to book on tuesday? I'm really nervous about our scheduled meeting though because i've never done anything like this before"
Me: "Like i said i don't accept bookings by text. There is no need to be nervous, i am a friendly approachable person. Please call me on the day if you want to book"
Him: "Thats what they all say though ha"
*Then he sends the above message another two times*

Bare in mind he said he's never done 'anything like this before' and is completely new, so how would he know "what they all say" ?

An hour later, another text:

Him: "Hiya kinkyboots, i'm just too nervous to go through with our scheduled meet, i'm too scared, sorry just thought i should let you know"

Not that i took his inquiry seriously to begin with, as i'd already put a note on his number so i wouldn't answer if he called on Thursday. Twat

Got a call at 8am this morning from a guy who admitted he'd been sniffing coke since yesterday afternoon,
He wanted an outcall within next hour, I said I don't "party" he said "I won't be able to get it up anyway"

Why do so many punters think we are all coke heads!

And here i was, complaining it was quiet lol, it seems my prayers have been answered! Received this via text


"Hi baby how much is just sex 20 min an i have had the snip so cant make babys an im very clean so how much for sex no condom i can send u a pic of it if u want"

I just love the "I need to let you know that my cock is really massive"!!!!!
Have they been going round comparing??
Have they been eyeing up other blokes in the toilets or gym and making notes??
Do they spend an evening with their mates and a few tape measures??
And what do they class as massive??
We all know that when blokes go fishing that the fish they caught was actually half the size they say it was, is that the same as when they are describing the size of their cocks??

Debbie has been doing the rounds.Last time Debbie texted and said she could not speak cos she was with her mam.
I have just had a shitty day.
Prank call one was a guy with a pile of money and a pile of condoms and would I come party with 6 or 7 other probably fantasy escorts he had booked.
Bellend 2 insisted on texting shit for 30 mins and when he did ring expected to see me in 15 mins time.He later texted wanting to see me at 10pm.I finish at 9pm.
I then had a guy book me very short notice he reckoned he was near to my work apartment and wanted 30 mins.
He then didn't answer his phone when I rang him back to direct him.When he did answer he was utterly stupid then got short with me because his phone incall volume wasn't working properly.Offered to text him nope he didn't want that.Got him in after 20 mins faffing and he decided he then didn't have time for 30 mins and would I give him a quickie.I lost it and showed him the door.
And then a barrage of silly texts from a bloke who wants an hour tomorrow asking about every bloody thing on my profile.
Seems to be a fair few wankers around today.

Debbie has been doing the rounds.Last time Debbie texted and said she could not speak cos she was with her mam.
I have just had a shitty day.
Prank call one was a guy with a pile of money and a pile of condoms and would I come party with 6 or 7 other probably fantasy escorts he had booked.
Bellend 2 insisted on texting shit for 30 mins and when he did ring expected to see me in 15 mins time.He later texted wanting to see me at 10pm.I finish at 9pm.
I then had a guy book me very short notice he reckoned he was near to my work apartment and wanted 30 mins.
He then didn't answer his phone when I rang him back to direct him.When he did answer he was utterly stupid then got short with me because his phone incall volume wasn't working properly.Offered to text him nope he didn't want that.Got him in after 20 mins faffing and he decided he then didn't have time for 30 mins and would I give him a quickie.I lost it and showed him the door.
And then a barrage of silly texts from a bloke who wants an hour tomorrow asking about every bloody thing on my profile.
Seems to be a fair few wankers around today.

I had a Debbie recently too and I am in Glasgow! Sad git, whoever it is x