first text, out of the fucking blue... (to my phone not AW)
"do you do blow job only service?"
my response:
"uhm, hello to you too! i assume you want to make a booking?"
his response:
"i do but i need to know that you can do blow job only service. I don't like to fuck it doesn't get me off, it makes me rather uncomfortable actually so I don't do it I do it with my girlfriend but you're not a girlfriend I'm paying you so I'm not going to fuck you even if you want me to. And I need to know if you can go deep throat, escorts always say they can do deep throat but my cock is very large its very important that you can have a cock deep in your mouth like really, really deep i'm almost nine inches long, yes my cock is very large. yes it is very large I know so if that is too much for you let me know. my girlfriend she said she can do deep throat but she cannot, she is Russian and they lie a lot. A lot even though her mouth is big she cannot do deep throat she gags a lot. It's a huge problem actually. So do you gag a lot? because I don't like that it makes me feel uncomfortable. And i don't like to talk at all, i just want to come in and give you money and you give me deep throat. perhaps it is better if i will give you half up front and if you gag or cannot do deep throat i won't give you the rest."
Needles to say I turned his very generous offer down...
What an absolute delusional fuckwit! I'd have told him to deep throat himself if he's that big and told him to fuck off then block him!
I just couldn't believe he typed all of it out on a text message! I wonder how long that took? He must have been totally pissed cause it was a fucking WEIRD message!
I seriously hate when I get something like this:
"Hi gorgeous, I love your profile .. and such amazing feedbacks!
I thought I'd tell you a little about me....Well, I'm ***, English, well spoken. I have a degree from **** and I love to read, write.. I'm 6'0 tall, and stocky build. I play ruddy on the weekends. I have a full head of hair, dark brown, no beard. I'm clean shaved on my face and my balls, although I'm naturally slightly hairy all over.
I love sex. I love intimacy. And I love taking my time. I don't want to be rushed... I want things to be slow, natural, intimate...
I'm a kisser - I love slow, deep, intimate, prolonged french kissing., And I love foreplay - everything, from slow gentle caressing your neck, back, legs and body, to full on touching and licking a girl's breasts and pussy. I love it when I can feel a girl shaking right before she comes... I'm massively into masturbation. I love masturbating a girl, both clitoral and vaginal, and I love to see her masturbating herself (.. and I'll gladly do it to me for you to watch too) it's a major fetish of mine...
I hope you're into these things. ......
*** x
Seriously, I don't need to know all of this. You obviously think I'm hot and you want to fuck me. Got it. Didn't need to read all of that. I hate guys that send these long, intricate e-mails about all the things they want to do because I feel like they're just sitting there wanking as they type and they never intend to book they're just getting off on writing it down. I hate getting e-mails with questions like "do you do blow jobs?" "do you do french-kissing?" "can i finger you?" No, you can't do any of those things. I checked them off on my likes list because I thought it would be awesome fun to say I'll do something, get my customer's money, and then get into a huge argument after I do NOTHING on my likes list. They're almost as annoying as the guys that send e-mails with "what's your favorite position?" Uhm yes, in my free time I love to sit here and sext with random strangers for free.
Not surprisingly, after sending a couple messages back and forth, have never heard from the man who loves masterbating.
However, I'll take a long e-mail like that one over one like this any day:
"i want to throw you on the ground like the fcking dirty bitch you are facefuck you so you can taste my dirty cock bitch"
