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Author Topic: How not to book an escort,world championships!  (Read 2594806 times)

ScarletWoman

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #4530 on: 26 August 2013, 05:22:54 pm »
Answerphone message. Slightly special sounding guy talking very slowly with a lisp:

"um, hello. It's my first time booking with a prostitute, or a hoe, or whatever you like to be called. I'm just on the Internet looking at your pictures and they're very...I just...ohhhh, ohhhh, ohhhh, ohhhhh, argggggghh.
(pause)
Oh no, no, that's disgusting. disgusting.
(tone changes to very polite)
I'm sorry for wasting your time."
"I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy."
-Steve Martin

sweet jane

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #4531 on: 02 September 2013, 09:21:50 pm »
GRRRRR  >:(

via a 'blank' adult works profile a spam message touting for an escort agency..... I get enough of the various webdevelopers/photographers/shared content crap... but this looked like it had been set up purely for the purpose of spamming.

roxy666

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #4532 on: 03 September 2013, 05:54:31 pm »
Sorry to resurrect an older thread but i just cant help myself.

Im laid up in the house at the moment with bad dose of flu :( Ive left a message on my work phone (which is switched off) saying that i am currently ill and not taking any bookings. Considering my voice is that sore i sound like ive had a sex change i dont think anyone could question my sincerity.

So i checked my voicemails last night.
1st message-'Hi i know your ill but i wasent looking for a booking today,im planning to see you next week. I was just wanting to have a chat about what it is that booking an escort involves and what services you offer (groan). Im looking for a massage with HR and was wondering what the price would be for that (groan groan and double groan). Could you ring me back please as soon as you get this message'

Yes i would be delighted to ring you when im feeling like death to answer you inane questions you muppet!

2nd Message-'Hi im looking to make an appointment. Can you tell me when you will be better please?'

Certainly,i will just get my crystal ball out and check to see when i will be fighting fit again >:(


PAAAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!! i know this is 4 years old, but i am right there with you!!  ;D

i have really bad lurgy, sound like im going to hack up my intire set of internal organs when i get going!

i have on my AW profile status that i am unobtainable due to being unwell and it is constant messages like these idiots!! lol  ::)

"Hi
Do you think you would be available on Monday or Tuesday next week?" - errrrm...... ??? let me just pop into the toilet system and ask squishy my cat what the future holds!! lol  ;)

"When are you back working?
I need my balls kicked with your hot feet"

"hi when you back to work?"
      i feel like replying to the last 2, "how long is a peice of string? YOU FUCK TARD!"  :FF

"Hi, can I wank over your ass?"

though this last one is the best and makes me chuckle imagining the image of some random guy wanking over my ass whilst i blow snot bubbles and hock up flem balls after a 5 minute coughing fit, PMSL!! mmmmmmm, such a turn on! lol xox




SW

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #4533 on: 03 September 2013, 06:13:22 pm »
I used to get all those when i broke my leg. It was stated on my profile that I had broken it and that was why I wasn't working but still got loads of 'when can i see you' emails.

I even got one asking for a booking that day, saying 'I don't mind that you have a broken leg'! :FF I dont give a toss what you mind, I certainly do!

strawberry

  • Guest
Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #4534 on: 03 September 2013, 08:48:32 pm »
I can't see the problem with this, it's an obvious question. If you were a customer of a business which was temporarily closed, or  you might ask someone when they will be available to do whatever job you have lined up for them.

Sure when you are ill it can feel like everyone is harassing you. I once had someone ask if I could 'just' give them a blow job - I had tonsilitis at the time, and had communicated this to them. Anyone who's had the affliction knows the very last thing you can do in that state is give a blowie!

If there's something out of my control affecting availability I get to a point where I say just assume I'm like this permanently. Turning the phone off and keeping it off is a good idea when ill, I know it's a temptation but it helps not to know what you are missing, and you need your own break. I've tried being 'helpful' when not available or on holday to have guys then get into a text exchange asking me if I have the details of anyone else they could see, can I tell them willl she do this, do that. I find just either ignoring and not getting drawn in or point at a directory is the best thing to do.
Sorry to resurrect an older thread but i just cant help myself.

Im laid up in the house at the moment with bad dose of flu :( Ive left a message on my work phone (which is switched off) saying that i am currently ill and not taking any bookings. Considering my voice is that sore i sound like ive had a sex change i dont think anyone could question my sincerity.

So i checked my voicemails last night.
1st message-'Hi i know your ill but i wasent looking for a booking today,im planning to see you next week. I was just wanting to have a chat about what it is that booking an escort involves and what services you offer (groan). Im looking for a massage with HR and was wondering what the price would be for that (groan groan and double groan). Could you ring me back please as soon as you get this message'

Yes i would be delighted to ring you when im feeling like death to answer you inane questions you muppet!

2nd Message-'Hi im looking to make an appointment. Can you tell me when you will be better please?'

Certainly,i will just get my crystal ball out and check to see when i will be fighting fit again >:(


PAAAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!! i know this is 4 years old, but i am right there with you!!  ;D

i have really bad lurgy, sound like im going to hack up my intire set of internal organs when i get going!

i have on my AW profile status that i am unobtainable due to being unwell and it is constant messages like these idiots!! lol  ::)

"Hi
Do you think you would be available on Monday or Tuesday next week?" - errrrm...... ??? let me just pop into the toilet system and ask squishy my cat what the future holds!! lol  ;)

"When are you back working?
I need my balls kicked with your hot feet"

"hi when you back to work?"
      i feel like replying to the last 2, "how long is a peice of string? YOU FUCK TARD!"  :FF

"Hi, can I wank over your ass?"

though this last one is the best and makes me chuckle imagining the image of some random guy wanking over my ass whilst i blow snot bubbles and hock up flem balls after a 5 minute coughing fit, PMSL!! mmmmmmm, such a turn on! lol xox

Pink~Princess

  • Guest
Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #4535 on: 03 September 2013, 09:52:39 pm »
I can't see the problem with this, it's an obvious question. If you were a customer of a business which was temporarily closed, or  you might ask someone when they will be available to do whatever job you have lined up for them.

Sure when you are ill it can feel like everyone is harassing you. I once had someone ask if I could 'just' give them a blow job - I had tonsilitis at the time, and had communicated this to them. Anyone who's had the affliction knows the very last thing you can do in that state is give a blowie!

If there's something out of my control affecting availability I get to a point where I say just assume I'm like this permanently. Turning the phone off and keeping it off is a good idea when ill, I know it's a temptation but it helps not to know what you are missing, and you need your own break. I've tried being 'helpful' when not available or on holday to have guys then get into a text exchange asking me if I have the details of anyone else they could see, can I tell them willl she do this, do that. I find just either ignoring and not getting drawn in or point at a directory is the best thing to do.
Sorry to resurrect an older thread but i just cant help myself.

Im laid up in the house at the moment with bad dose of flu :( Ive left a message on my work phone (which is switched off) saying that i am currently ill and not taking any bookings. Considering my voice is that sore i sound like ive had a sex change i dont think anyone could question my sincerity.

So i checked my voicemails last night.
1st message-'Hi i know your ill but i wasent looking for a booking today,im planning to see you next week. I was just wanting to have a chat about what it is that booking an escort involves and what services you offer (groan). Im looking for a massage with HR and was wondering what the price would be for that (groan groan and double groan). Could you ring me back please as soon as you get this message'

Yes i would be delighted to ring you when im feeling like death to answer you inane questions you muppet!

2nd Message-'Hi im looking to make an appointment. Can you tell me when you will be better please?'

Certainly,i will just get my crystal ball out and check to see when i will be fighting fit again >:(


PAAAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!! i know this is 4 years old, but i am right there with you!!  ;D

i have really bad lurgy, sound like im going to hack up my intire set of internal organs when i get going!

i have on my AW profile status that i am unobtainable due to being unwell and it is constant messages like these idiots!! lol  ::)

"Hi
Do you think you would be available on Monday or Tuesday next week?" - errrrm...... ??? let me just pop into the toilet system and ask squishy my cat what the future holds!! lol  ;)

"When are you back working?
I need my balls kicked with your hot feet"

"hi when you back to work?"
      i feel like replying to the last 2, "how long is a peice of string? YOU FUCK TARD!"  :FF

"Hi, can I wank over your ass?"

though this last one is the best and makes me chuckle imagining the image of some random guy wanking over my ass whilst i blow snot bubbles and hock up flem balls after a 5 minute coughing fit, PMSL!! mmmmmmm, such a turn on! lol xox

I think the point they were making chick is that they don't know when they are going to be feeling better as illnesses just need to tun they're course however long it takes as well as the fact it is irritating dealing with these numpty's when your not feeling well. Also I think that putting aside the question of "when will you be better" you just get a vibe that they aren't the sort youd want to meet with anyway.

For example I just had someone phone me for a booking tonight (I am finished for the day and my working hours are the first thing written on my profile) but rather than tell the guy "no sorry I am finished for the evening" I hung up and blocked his number because I can just tell he's not the type I would ever want to meet with despite the fact he never said or did anything that bad. Hope that makes sense lol, I'm crap at explaining things sometimes.

xx

Pink~Princess

  • Guest
Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #4536 on: 03 September 2013, 09:55:03 pm »
I had someone text me at 1.30am this morning asking...... "R U OPEN"

Fucking TWAT!  ::)

strawberry

  • Guest
Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #4537 on: 04 September 2013, 09:00:55 am »
I can't see the problem with this, it's an obvious question. If you were a customer of a business which was temporarily closed, or  you might ask someone when they will be available to do whatever job you have lined up for them.

Sure when you are ill it can feel like everyone is harassing you. I once had someone ask if I could 'just' give them a blow job - I had tonsilitis at the time, and had communicated this to them. Anyone who's had the affliction knows the very last thing you can do in that state is give a blowie!

If there's something out of my control affecting availability I get to a point where I say just assume I'm like this permanently. Turning the phone off and keeping it off is a good idea when ill, I know it's a temptation but it helps not to know what you are missing, and you need your own break. I've tried being 'helpful' when not available or on holday to have guys then get into a text exchange asking me if I have the details of anyone else they could see, can I tell them willl she do this, do that. I find just either ignoring and not getting drawn in or point at a directory is the best thing to do.
Sorry to resurrect an older thread but i just cant help myself.

Im laid up in the house at the moment with bad dose of flu :( Ive left a message on my work phone (which is switched off) saying that i am currently ill and not taking any bookings. Considering my voice is that sore i sound like ive had a sex change i dont think anyone could question my sincerity.

So i checked my voicemails last night.
1st message-'Hi i know your ill but i wasent looking for a booking today,im planning to see you next week. I was just wanting to have a chat about what it is that booking an escort involves and what services you offer (groan). Im looking for a massage with HR and was wondering what the price would be for that (groan groan and double groan). Could you ring me back please as soon as you get this message'

Yes i would be delighted to ring you when im feeling like death to answer you inane questions you muppet!

2nd Message-'Hi im looking to make an appointment. Can you tell me when you will be better please?'

Certainly,i will just get my crystal ball out and check to see when i will be fighting fit again >:(


PAAAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!! i know this is 4 years old, but i am right there with you!!  ;D

i have really bad lurgy, sound like im going to hack up my intire set of internal organs when i get going!

i have on my AW profile status that i am unobtainable due to being unwell and it is constant messages like these idiots!! lol  ::)

"Hi
Do you think you would be available on Monday or Tuesday next week?" - errrrm...... ??? let me just pop into the toilet system and ask squishy my cat what the future holds!! lol  ;)

"When are you back working?
I need my balls kicked with your hot feet"

"hi when you back to work?"
      i feel like replying to the last 2, "how long is a peice of string? YOU FUCK TARD!"  :FF

"Hi, can I wank over your ass?"

though this last one is the best and makes me chuckle imagining the image of some random guy wanking over my ass whilst i blow snot bubbles and hock up flem balls after a 5 minute coughing fit, PMSL!! mmmmmmm, such a turn on! lol xox

I think the point they were making chick is that they don't know when they are going to be feeling better as illnesses just need to tun they're course however long it takes as well as the fact it is irritating dealing with these numpty's when your not feeling well. Also I think that putting aside the question of "when will you be better" you just get a vibe that they aren't the sort youd want to meet with anyway.

For example I just had someone phone me for a booking tonight (I am finished for the day and my working hours are the first thing written on my profile) but rather than tell the guy "no sorry I am finished for the evening" I hung up and blocked his number because I can just tell he's not the type I would ever want to meet with despite the fact he never said or did anything that bad. Hope that makes sense lol, I'm crap at explaining things sometimes.

xx

I'm wondering do you advertise soley on Adultwork?

roxy666

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #4538 on: 04 September 2013, 09:33:22 am »
yes like pink princess said, the point is they are asking a question no one has the answer to, so its a pointless and stupid question. i have no idea when i will be back to work, i hope soon as i am very bored and i miss working! (strange, the only job i have ever had that i miss working when away)

as for guys asking questions that are answered on my profile, i get this ALL the time, its extremely irritating, but i always check their profile to see if they are new, but as i live in a town not a city, i dont want to turn work away, so i always reply politely and just swear obsenities at my laptop, lol.

but i was under no illusion when starting this work that the majority of men will only look at your pictures, feedback and rates. only a few like to be thourough and take the time to read your whole profile, which is why i keep it short and sweet, straight to the point and only have 2 points in the Q&As section.
one being about the fact i do not give out my number untill a booking has been agreed and booked through the system, and yet i still get assholes asking for a number in the first message they send me  :FF
the next annoyance being when they just make a booking with no contact. the first thing i say on my profile is to please contact me first so to avoid dissapointment. i could be busy or away. ive had guys do this when i was visiting my mum for a week, so didnt realise i had got back a missed booking (which my status also stated i was away till such and such date) fucking dumb ass'!!!

but must remember to breath and stay polite! i just try to avoid emailing men back before i have had my morning coffee and fag so as not to rip their heads off and shit down their necks!!! (no, i am not a morning person, hahaha) xox

Ami

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #4539 on: 04 September 2013, 09:52:50 am »
Morning lovely ladies! I opened my inbox to this beauty today :-) Hope you enjoy your wednesdays!    ::)



I know you work as an escort and have a busy time, but I just need some help from you so kindly if you can spare some time to help.
Till now I have seen two different women for 30 min each. They were road-side girls. So after the penetrative sex, I asked them as to how it felt during the penetration. He first said she felt nothing while the other said she got 30% of the pleasure than she normally receives from penetration from other clients. Since then I have been trying to learn but I am still not clear so thought to ask you for help as you have a vast experience and can help me understand and learn about sex and about myself.
I?ve read on the internet that during penetration, the women gets pleasure mainly due to three things.

1. When the cock rubs against her vaginal walls which cause her pleasure.
2. When the penis touches her spots like A-spot and G-spot.
3. And when the man cums inside her vagina, the feeling of ejection also gives pleasure to her as she can feel the cum being ejected inside her.

As you can see from my penis pictures inside my profile that my penis is fat and of nice girth. So can you help me understand why the women won?t feel much pleasure from it? It can cause same rubbing as any other cock so why those two women said they dint enjoyed penetration? As you are a women and an experienced one, can you please explain me this. Well if you were doing my penis, will you not feel it rubbing against vaginal walls and providing stimulations?? Or was it that their vaginal walls were not that sensitive and thus did not felt much?? Please can you give me your expert views.
Secondly you may also see my full cum load picture in my profile, so why is it that they did not felt me cum inside them? Because once I cummed and I told her that I have cummed. She said ? aw have you?? and then she took my condom off and squeezed the condom and then said ? aw yeah you have, there is it???so why is it that on both instances they did not felt he cum??
I hope you are friendly enough to help me and honest person so to educate me properly as I really like to know the reality and like to know your views about me.
Thanks again and hope you understand my curiosity

Ami

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #4540 on: 04 September 2013, 09:54:39 am »
I've actually send something quite nice back, in case it really is real....

Pink~Princess

  • Guest
Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #4541 on: 04 September 2013, 09:55:57 am »
Woke up to this this morning............

Hi. WOW you have nice big boobs....are they real?? Anyways, My name is Henry, and I?m a student in Hull University.

I know you work as an escort and have a busy time, but I just need some help from you so kindly if you can spare some time to help.
Till now I have seen two different women for 30 min each. They were road-side girls. So after the penetrative sex, I asked them as to how it felt during the penetration. He first said she felt nothing while the other said she got 30% of the pleasure than she normally receives from penetration from other clients. Since then I have been trying to learn but I am still not clear so thought to ask you for help as you have a vast experience and can help me understand and learn about sex and about myself.
I?ve read on the internet that during penetration, the women gets pleasure mainly due to three things.

1. When the cock rubs against her vaginal walls which cause her pleasure.
2. When the penis touches her spots like A-spot and G-spot.
3. And when the man cums inside her vagina, the feeling of ejection also gives pleasure to her as she can feel the cum being ejected inside her.

As you can see from my penis pictures inside my profile that my penis is fat and of nice girth. So can you help me understand why the women won?t feel much pleasure from it? It can cause same rubbing as any other cock so why those two women said they dint enjoyed penetration? As you are a women and an experienced one, can you please explain me this. Well if you were doing my penis, will you not feel it rubbing against vaginal walls and providing stimulations?? Or was it that their vaginal walls were not that sensitive and thus did not felt much?? Please can you give me your expert views.
Secondly you may also see my full cum load picture in my profile, so why is it that they did not felt me cum inside them? Because once I cummed and I told her that I have cummed. She said ? aw have you?? and then she took my condom off and squeezed the condom and then said ? aw yeah you have, there is it???so why is it that on both instances they did not felt he cum??
I hope you are friendly enough to help me and honest person so to educate me properly as I really like to know the reality and like to know your views about me.
Thanks again and hope you understand my curiosity

THE COCK PICTURES ARE SO SMALL I CANT SEE HIS COCK, HE MUST BE AFTER HUMILIATION OR SOMETHING AND WAS TRYING TO GET A REACTION OUT OF ME.

I just emailed back and said "Clearly this is a wind up and clearly your that delusional, your from another planet. Your pics have just put me off my breakfast"

So I gave him his wee cheap thrill lol, on the off chance he's not into humiliation I hope he realises how stupid he is.
 

Lou

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #4542 on: 04 September 2013, 09:58:29 am »
Lol, are you going to share your reply, I would have just pressed the delete button  :)

casey_kisses

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #4543 on: 04 September 2013, 10:02:56 am »
Standard creep trying to get you to talk dirty, also this post should probably be in 'how not to book an escort, world championships' where the rest of the losers reside.

Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.
- Albus Dumbledore

Pink~Princess

  • Guest
Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #4544 on: 04 September 2013, 10:08:47 am »
yes like pink princess said, the point is they are asking a question no one has the answer to, so its a pointless and stupid question. i have no idea when i will be back to work, i hope soon as i am very bored and i miss working! (strange, the only job i have ever had that i miss working when away)

as for guys asking questions that are answered on my profile, i get this ALL the time, its extremely irritating, but i always check their profile to see if they are new, but as i live in a town not a city, i dont want to turn work away, so i always reply politely and just swear obsenities at my laptop, lol.

but i was under no illusion when starting this work that the majority of men will only look at your pictures, feedback and rates. only a few like to be thourough and take the time to read your whole profile, which is why i keep it short and sweet, straight to the point and only have 2 points in the Q&As section.
one being about the fact i do not give out my number untill a booking has been agreed and booked through the system, and yet i still get assholes asking for a number in the first message they send me  :FF
the next annoyance being when they just make a booking with no contact. the first thing i say on my profile is to please contact me first so to avoid dissapointment. i could be busy or away. ive had guys do this when i was visiting my mum for a week, so didnt realise i had got back a missed booking (which my status also stated i was away till such and such date) fucking dumb ass'!!!

but must remember to breath and stay polite! i just try to avoid emailing men back before i have had my morning coffee and fag so as not to rip their heads off and shit down their necks!!! (no, i am not a morning person, hahaha) xox

The random booking requests used to drive me insane so now I close my diary which means nobody can place a booking without my permission.

I hope you feel better real soon.

xx