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Author Topic: How not to book an escort,world championships!  (Read 2595094 times)

sade

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #4455 on: 08 August 2013, 08:43:02 pm »
I hate the " r u free  ". I never understand what it means.
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Holly T

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #4456 on: 10 August 2013, 10:24:22 am »
Quote from: sade on 08 August 2013, 08:43:02 pm
I hate the " r u free  ". I never understand what it means.

I don't get it either.  My response to this is always, "Oh no, honey.  I'm never free."

Either they hang up because they think they're being rejected or they realise I'm meaning money and they usually say something like, "haha, yeah, that's not what I meant, sorry!"  I know it isn't but it's a bit of a silly thing to say when there is money involved.  ::) x
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happyhappyjoyjoy

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #4457 on: 11 August 2013, 01:04:21 pm »
New crazy text:

Looking for a girl who is prepared to cut off my foreskin with a pair of scissors i no it's a strange request but very genuine no other service just 2 minutes of your time if u can do this please give me a price thanks.


Showed my boyfriend this and he went into a cold sweat! hahaha
« Last Edit: 11 August 2013, 01:08:32 pm by happyhappyjoyjoy »
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Pink~Princess

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #4458 on: 11 August 2013, 06:36:57 pm »
Got a TEXT (which I hate and have made clear not to text me for a booking) today on my DAY OFF (despite my working hours being the first thing written on my profile) saying........

Buddy r u workn tday was thnkn of popn up

Eh go have a wank instead you silly boy!!
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foreign affairs

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #4459 on: 12 August 2013, 04:22:35 am »
May I ask you an unusual question?

Go on

I ask this with total respect and my intention is to see you tonight as I have read your excellent reviews.I am not judging you in any way.What do you consider yourself religiously?

Atheist :D

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Lauren88

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #4460 on: 12 August 2013, 12:41:43 pm »
Me.. Hello, can I help you?
Him... Yeah, alright love, do you do it up the shitter?

Phone down and block!!

Me... Hello can I help you?
Him... What can I get for 20 quid
Me... I'm sorry but I wouldn't tickle one of your pubes with my little toe for that
Him... Well can I get a blow job for 20
Me... As previously stated... I won't do anything for 20 pounds
Him... Well fuck you then, I thought all you sluts needed money
Me... Sweetie, I'm not a slut... Unless you pay me to be, so take your 20 pound, buy yourself a porn DVD and a box of tissues and knock yourself out

Phone down and block

Me... Hello can I help you??
Him... If I lick your pussy can I get a free bj in return?
Me.... You seem to have misunderstood the meaning of escort.... That there, is what I am paid for
Him... So you wouldn't do it for free?
Me... Would tesco give you your shopping for free?
Him... Well obviously not
Me... Exactly, so how I going to buy my shopping if I do that for free everytime I am booked??

Phone done and block

My personal favourite...

Me... Hello can I help you??

Him.. Hi, I'm looking for a date for a bar mitzvah in leeds and a good seeing to after but you have got to pretend to be Jewish

Me... That's fine, how long would you like to book me for, when is the bar mitzvah, and I don't have to pretend, I am Jewish

Him... So you will do it for free?

Me... No

Him... Not even if I make a donation to shul?

Me.... No

Him... Not even if I dress as a rabbi and fuck you like it's Shabbat?

Me... Laughing, What's the difference between sex over Shabbat and any other day of the week?

Him... Muttering in Hebrew (saying I am a whore and I should just be laid bare for everyone to use)

Me... I can understand what you are saying and I wouldn't mind that as long as I was paid properly

Him... Oh I am sorry, so are you still available for the bar mitzvah?

Me... Is it kosher to eat pork?

Him.. No

Me.. Well there is your answer then!

Phone down and block!

I find the Londoners are always the strangest!!! Kaspersky is going to go on strike soon I swear!!!
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MissLarissa

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #4461 on: 12 August 2013, 02:07:28 pm »
Lol these make my day :D

Via text a second ago : " Straight to the point - i cumin to you. you sit on my face with ur knickers on and wiggle and wank me off. ?25 tonight?

How can people spell knickers and can't spell "your" ???

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Pink~Princess

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #4462 on: 12 August 2013, 02:13:04 pm »
Lol they make me laugh too. Are these guys just trolls or are they actually serious? WTF goes through they're heads? It baffles me every day x
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KinkyVixen

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #4463 on: 12 August 2013, 06:59:04 pm »
A couple of charmers here

Txt that came in at 4am sat - "How many girlz working" ....... ( not a brothel! plus i wouldnt want to see anyone who spells "girls" as " girlz"

8pm last night - "are you workign tonight"
ME = "depends how long you want and what time , ring me please "
8pm = "45 min but my PC off now , whats the rarte and what dotn you do "  ( notice he still texting and not rung as asked !!)
ME = "You need to ring me "
8pm = Have you got toys and can you do anal in a quickie
ME = " Please dont txt again , i dotn fo anal . I suggest you read my page properly before contacting me again , same goes for other ladies! "
8pm = " fuck you fuckn slag "
ME =  Your blocked , i wouldnt of seen you anyway as your attitude stinks , no reasearch, boundray pushing haggler and repeatedly texted when asked to ring

half hour later
8pm - " have u got any toys , ill pay extra for anal , im only small"

Like im going to see him after the abuse ......sick of these types of men . Wasters.


And now at 5pm today ive had a text ( it says DONT TEXT al over ad0 askign if i will go on an outcall. Txtd back told him to ring , well he did ring ok , wanted me to go to his house in St Helens!!!

Another one who does no reasearch ..........i dont go to houses and i dotn go miles away as its got to be do-able by taxi , St helens is  A ?80 TAXI RIDE EACH WAY !!  ( prob more ) ..... SILLY MAN
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roseanna

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #4464 on: 12 August 2013, 09:45:33 pm »
Quote from: Pink~Princess on 12 August 2013, 02:13:04 pm
Lol they make me laugh too. Are these guys just trolls or are they actually serious? WTF goes through they're heads? It baffles me every day x

Testosterone. It's a dangerous chemical. Mashes the brain. When men become even moderately aroused it doesn't work any more and only rubbish comes out.
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Pink~Princess

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #4465 on: 12 August 2013, 10:39:26 pm »
Hahahahahaha xx
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Francesca

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #4466 on: 13 August 2013, 07:16:44 pm »
?Little head? thinking makes for big dick head behaviour!
What are the biggest examples you can think of?

I just had a text confirming a booking, followed by ?Can you answer the door naked??
My reply ?That is not worth losing my premises and livelihood over!?
Him ?Oh, sorry, I didn?t think.?

Have you got any examples of this type of (lack of) thought?
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ana30

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #4467 on: 13 August 2013, 07:32:44 pm »
Quote
�Little head� thinking makes for big dick head behaviour!
What are the biggest examples you can think of?

I just had a text confirming a booking, followed by �Can you answer the door naked?�
My reply �That is not worth losing my premises and livelihood over!�
Him �Oh, sorry, I didn�t think.�

That type of request would set my alarm bell ringing.
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Sarah sweeties

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #4468 on: 13 August 2013, 08:08:20 pm »
Quote from: Francesca on 13 August 2013, 07:16:44 pm
?Little head? thinking makes for big dick head behaviour!
What are the biggest examples you can think of?

I just had a text confirming a booking, followed by ?Can you answer the door naked??
My reply ?That is not worth losing my premises and livelihood over!?
Him ?Oh, sorry, I didn?t think.?

Have you got any examples of this type of (lack of) thought?
I had a booking like that. I told him I will answer the front door fully clothed. I will put him in the room and take money from him. I will return to the room naked that worked a treat.
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happyhappyjoyjoy

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #4469 on: 13 August 2013, 08:24:11 pm »
I got a call from someone.
silly man:Can you meet me in the pub wearing that dress in your picture?
me: well, it's not a dress, it's a neglig?e so....
silly man: oh sorry
me: that's ok
silly man: so is that a no.

the pub he wanted to meet in was a harvester as well lol 
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