I got back from lunch today, very happy and the prick just ruined my mood

Him: good afternoon, is this *my name*?
The whole sentence pronounced in a slow sophisticated upperclass arshehole tone with a slight hint of disgust on my name as if my name were HERPES:)
Me: yes, it is. And what can i do for you today?
Him, going condescending for a change: Oh, good English!
Me: (after a moment of deliberate silence) Yes, it's always surprising what good schools can get you!
Him: So it's xxx per hour and how many times can I cum?
Me: oh but thank you for checking my rates, have you had the pleasure of checking the rest of my profile?
Him: I have no time for this, can I cum three times?

Normally I warn them that I'm going to hang up before I hang up. This time I just thought "surpriiiiiise!

Text this morning:

Him: Hi *insert working name* can I see you tomorrow at 2pm?

Me: Sorry I'm fully booked tomorrow. If you'd like you could come see me this afternoon or on Friday I have much more free time for you.

Him:  I can only do tomorrow, can you cancel somebody else?

Me: Yeah sure let me just cancel all these people who booked days in advance so they could see me tomorrow just for you. Shall I also get you a cigar and massage your feet?

Him: What are your rates?

So somebody who hasn't even bothered to properly read my profile with rates and everything else wants me to cancel other clients to make space for him just because he doesn't feel like just picking another day. 

Him: Hi are you available now?
Me: Hi sorry fully booked. Free from 5pm
Him: That's a shame. Wanted anal without condom for 300

Subject:   hi bb


can we have fuck in your park free interested for that

In your park? Are you the Queen? 

Subject:   hi bb


can we have fuck in your park free interested for that

Lucie,

If this was an email on aw then remember: it's important to reply!
Otherwise you could get suspended 

Him at 1am- Hi xx
him- outcalls?
Me- read my profile
him- ok x sorry x
A hour and half passes and im fast asleep
him- only found your number on viva xxx not sure what you want? (wtf  )
him- xxx
him- just want to meet for fuck x
him-
him- show me your ass x
him- xxxxx
Another 2 hours pass
Him- cock

What the actual fuck 

I rarely reply but I am bored and it is quiet so I have plenty of time to waste.
Just now

Him:
Hello

My name is Adam. I am 35 years old and I am 5'10 tall with medium build with black hair and dark brown eyes.

I was wondering if you would be interested in going together to a nice spa where we can enjoy the facilities together (sauna, steam room, Jacuzzi). I'm not looking for sex or anything sexual... just thought it would be nice to relax and keep each other company and talk...

Just to clarify... this wont be an escort booking but more of a mutual relaxing spa day so it wont be payment for time but I will pay for the spa for us both.

How does that sound to you?

My number is ****

ME:
Thank you for email.

This is an escort website so all escorts are paid for their time.

Men are required to pay for my time regardless of sex or no sex.

Good luck in finding a lady on this website that will happily give your their time for free.

Once again thank you for contacting me.

Him: Hi A

Thanks for your reply

Yes ladies are on here to make money but not all think of just money. Some are interested in a relaxing time together with someone intelligent and have a nice conversation while relaxing.

I have met with quite a few very nice ladies from this site and we had a lovely time at the spa.

ME:
That is good for you. You do not have feedback that backs you up.

However time must always be compensated.

Good luck take care.  ( BLOCKED HIM)

What an idiot