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Author Topic: How not to book an escort,world championships!  (Read 2594117 times)

nemature

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #10875 on: 01 February 2017, 08:55:09 am »
Him - Available
Me - You would get a decent score in scrabble for that
Him - would I
Me - yes but some other words would be better
Him - so have I scored
Me - No
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mature helen

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #10876 on: 01 February 2017, 01:53:36 pm »
Phone call..

Him...Hello is that Heather?
Me...Who?
Him...Heather
Me...No wrong number.

I could have corrected him but I thought fuck it, why should I.
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Aqua Allegoria

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #10877 on: 01 February 2017, 02:14:00 pm »
By text last night:
Oy!

I saw it this morning and thought Tim Roth! Tim Roth, whom I find crazily sexy, stars in that TV series Lie to Me and he shouts  "oy!" all the time.
He also uses "love" a lot. I go all mellowy when I hear "love", bloody Tim!!!  :FF
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VoluptuousCurves

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #10878 on: 01 February 2017, 03:50:45 pm »
I should have known better than to answer a number from a non-UK country code. I have never ever had an actual booking from anyone using a non-UK mobile.

Him: [unintelligible burble]
Me: Pardon?
Him: Available today?
Me: Yes, what time are you thinking of?
Him: Errrr.... now or later
Me: Which?
Him: Huh?
Me: Where are you now?
Him: Heathrow.
Me: I'm in Yorkshire. How are you proposing to get here?
Him: I come to you.
Me: Do you have a car?
Him. No, I fly.
Me: Good fucking trick, there's no airport here.
Him: I take train
Me: Well that will take you about 3 hours and cost around ?100, how does that sound?
Him: Maybe I think about this.
Me: Yes, and buy a map.

 ::) ::) ::)
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And me, I am not a mess, I am a wilderness, yes
The undiscovered continent for you to undress

Guiltypleasure

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #10879 on: 02 February 2017, 10:55:36 am »
Really weird heavy Asian voice this am as soon as I put light on
Him: hi , how are you? ( long and drawn out)
Me: ok how can I help ?
Him: oh well, how can you help, I have lots of money to spend on you ( again weird drawn out)
Me: TA TA

Think this might do the rounds today !!
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VoluptuousCurves

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #10880 on: 02 February 2017, 11:10:32 am »
Interesting GP, I had a text in the small hours saying "I have ?3400 for you to act out my fantasy"
I replied "That's a very specific amount."  ???
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And me, I am not a mess, I am a wilderness, yes
The undiscovered continent for you to undress

Red KB

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #10881 on: 03 February 2017, 09:02:39 am »
Quote from: VoluptuousCurves on 02 February 2017, 11:10:32 am
Interesting GP, I had a text in the small hours saying "I have ?3400 for you to act out my fantasy"
I replied "That's a very specific amount."  ???
I had that one too...didn't bother replying.
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We're women, it's what we do. I just get paid for it.

Guiltypleasure

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #10882 on: 03 February 2017, 09:18:39 am »
Quote from: VoluptuousCurves on 02 February 2017, 11:10:32 am
Interesting GP, I had a text in the small hours saying "I have ?3400 for you to act out my fantasy"
I replied "That's a very specific amount."  ???
He sounded a serious weirdo and I've heard plenty ! That's why I put it up ,had a feeling he might be going to just try everyone , he definitely wanted to chat , he sounded so strange , not drugged or anything but like he knew what he was doing  , not a nice feeling, did freak me out a bit !
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MistressMorgana

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #10883 on: 03 February 2017, 09:35:05 am »
Him: High,  good morning, how are you?

Me: I'm great thanks, how are you?

Him: My name is Sam, what's your name?

Me: So you don't know who you're calling?

Him: It's the nice young Scottish lady.

Me: Whose name is?

Him: You tell me.

Me: NO,  Sam. Click.

Followed by a text. 'Sorry I'm nervous. '

Was he fuck. He sounded like a smooth talking, time-wasting twat.

I wish they would all die off. I've had enough of them this week, seriously.
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MistressMorgana

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #10884 on: 03 February 2017, 09:36:49 am »
Quote from: VoluptuousCurves on 02 February 2017, 11:10:32 am
Interesting GP, I had a text in the small hours saying "I have ?3400 for you to act out my fantasy"
I replied "That's a very specific amount."  ???

I've had that one before. I just deleted it. It's been doing the rounds for a while. Freak!
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Kay

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #10885 on: 03 February 2017, 05:32:39 pm »
Bizarre phone conversation with what sounded like an older gent. He wanted to send me a text, and then my text him back telling him about my bust size and whether I was shaven. I asked why we would swap texts like that when we were already speaking on the phone?? I said I didn't do text chat; he said he just found it easier to text. He then asked if sex was with or without a condom and started moaning when I said with, obviously. Eventually I said 'You sound a bit weird' and put the phone down...
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Aqua Allegoria

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #10886 on: 03 February 2017, 05:50:05 pm »
Quote from: Kay on 03 February 2017, 05:32:39 pm
Bizarre phone conversation with what sounded like an older gent. He wanted to send me a text, and then my text him back telling him about my bust size and whether I was shaven. I asked why we would swap texts like that when we were already speaking on the phone?? I said I didn't do text chat; he said he just found it easier to text. He then asked if sex was with or without a condom and started moaning when I said with, obviously. Eventually I said 'You sound a bit weird' and put the phone down...

Unless he was "hard of hearing". A few months ago I took a booking from a guy who was "hard of hearing" and stupid me somehow didn't get the meaning. It was all ok until the moment he was in the building (inside!!!) desperately trying to get my flat number and i was still refusing to TEXT it to him telling him to go away!!! I had a friend intervene and dear lord that poor guy just couldn't hear me.

So might be why he told you why it was "easier for him" to text. I had 2 other clients like that but in both cases I knew beforehand.
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Kay

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #10887 on: 03 February 2017, 11:06:58 pm »
Quote from: Aqua Allegoria on 03 February 2017, 05:50:05 pm
Unless he was "hard of hearing". A few months ago I took a booking from a guy who was "hard of hearing" and stupid me somehow didn't get the meaning. It was all ok until the moment he was in the building (inside!!!) desperately trying to get my flat number and i was still refusing to TEXT it to him telling him to go away!!! I had a friend intervene and dear lord that poor guy just couldn't hear me.

So might be why he told you why it was "easier for him" to text. I had 2 other clients like that but in both cases I knew beforehand.

No, his hearing was fine - I suspect he wanted free sexting, and to persuade me to go bareback.
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"There is no sin except stupidity" - Oscar Wilde

VoluptuousCurves

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #10888 on: 07 February 2017, 02:09:32 pm »
Him: is it you in the photos?
Me: yes.
Him: erm... Are you English?
Me: I'm from the Socialist Republic of Yorkshire
Him: erm...
Me: goodbye.
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And me, I am not a mess, I am a wilderness, yes
The undiscovered continent for you to undress

BibiofLeeds

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Re: How not to book an escort,world championships!
« Reply #10889 on: 07 February 2017, 08:26:06 pm »
Got a text whitterer who eventually decided to book.I offered him 6pm which he agreed to but when I asked where he was coming from as it was already 5:20  he then cancelled.So that was that.
He then sent a text saying he can never get hold of me and then proceeded to point out that he tried to book awhile ago and I could only offer him 30 mins (probably true but so what?).
I told him that I was probably busy and obviously he wanted longer than I could offer.He replied with 'Yes but I wanted an hour'.
At this point he pretty much got a text telling him I found his last few texts weird and he would be better getting hold of other ladies..what a plonker! ::)
« Last Edit: 07 February 2017, 08:45:00 pm by BibiofLeeds »
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