70 year old retiree, liked talking about golf.

Smelly bloke, left skid marks on the bed (thankfully it was his hotel room). Couldn't get out there quick enough.

🤮

I had a 70 something who went on about his prostate for full half hour to squeamish little me.  I had known it was going to be a hand job booking so I just had to tune him out and nod in the right places.

Ugh. I don't understand how they think that topic is appropriate.
My 70 year old did moan about his hip a few times. The first time was when I got on top. I didn't take it personally

Seemed to be some sort of Yoga enthusiast/Reiki hobbyist from the general conversation, but I couldn't call him a 'Master' of either because he gave me the weirdest of massages.
It involved lots of shaking of my buttocks etc, pressing my back and breathing on my skin whilst freezing momentarily 

I wasn't complaining though, it was a great change to the usual same old, same old:)

Squeeky clean straight from the shower, but had seemingly forgotten his armpits.
Kept my hair out of the way.

He also had a very long beard, gave me oral.. and headed directly back up to kiss me. 

Oh wow you got yourself a stinky wizard! So funny.
Yes, I do those techniques too he didn't make them up

Very lovely gentleman today really enjoying it now
I'm out of pain!

A nice two hour guy who had not had sex for ten years lol. He brought me a thank you card and £30 tip. Much appreciated.

Wow! What a nice treat, for you and him!😃

shoe on other foot now 

One of my regulars , nice , decent , CLEAN and always tips , made a booking for 6pm.

Long shower, make up , dressed  by 05;40 , I'm a bit hot so grab a twister from the freezer ...WHY OH WHY DID I DIO THIS !!!

He texts at 05:55 to let me know he is parked up and making his way , then the unimaginable happens .......rumbling and ache in the tummy ( Ive had  one twister too many) 

Pure Panic .....Ive never moved like speedy gonzalez in my entire life .

A Quick and fast sit on the throne.... at the same time spraying all I could lay my hands  ( deodorant, perfume, hair spray.... wish i had a match box /candle to light  ) jumped into the shower to wash and the buzzer goes off........ jumped out the shower and almost fell face first reaching for the towel , manage to dash to the door all hot , bothered but hopefully not smelly.

I directed him swiftly to the kitchen to wash his hands , no way was i letting him in the bathroom.

Thankfully he wanted to chat first before getting down to business... gave me time to cool down and pour half a bottle of toilet duck down the loo  ..phew !!