Two bookings, one immediately after the other, the first client was a pleasure. Five minutes later comes my next advance booking. He booked politely on phone, arrived on time, I knew he was early 60s as and had hearing problems as I repeated everything many times.
He took forever up the stairs as obese and breathing issues, no eye contact and a punched lip with scab. But clean and tidy. Face sour like a jug of lemons. I know he's gonna break my chair and table. Paid up notes, neatly folded and ready. I'm very nice and sweet as I feel a bit sorry for him. His body seemed to be an encumbrance and he's strangely detached from it, anyway I'm watching him and feeling more and more uncomfortable.
I can't work him out, has he been hit on the head? concussion? or is he gonna have a heart attack? I don't want to touch this person. No alcohol smell. I also think he's making me repeat everything as a ploy but can understand everything perfectly. I'm thinking he's got health issues but underneath that he's a bit of a cunt as Amy says.
He can't get into the shower as he's a wide circular shape and has no flexibility. He fiddles with the doors hoping they might come apart. I know he's gonna break my poor little shower doors. He's afraid of slipping, his balance is all wrong. He suddenly says he wants to cancel. I say, yes, but I keep £150 cancellation fee, cause I want him out quick. He offers £100. Nope, £150 as I've arranged my day for him and I'm naked. He's been here 5 minutes. I'm really glad he's leaving and give him the remaining £130, keeping my juicy cancellation fee.
I don't feel threatened but I'm firm. I'm fitter and faster than him and prepared to surpise him if he turns nasty. I watch as he can't work out how to put his trousers on, staring at them for a long, long, time remembering where his legs should go. Then he can't reach his feet to put his socks on.
He calls me 'stupid' as he hobbles down the steepest stairs in London. I've got your money you chimp so who's the stupid one? £30 per minute I smile in my head.